Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Day 23 - the dotted line has been signed!

I had my appointment with Dr Winnett today.  I wasn't nervous until I walked in and he asked me if I'd read the book that was given to me when I first came to see him ('the lap band solution').  I said yes, I had and I also let him know of all the other books that I'd purchased and read along the way.  I literally have my own lap band library.  I don't think that there are many books left out there for me to read! 

We spoke a little more about the process.  Brad was there with me (along with the Twins) and he asked if I had any more questions.  He enquired how I'd been going on the Optifast.  I told him that I'd had a few hiccups along the way and that I hadn't always stuck to the program but he seemed impressed with my 6 kilogram loss.  He then asked if I had decided if I was going to go ahead with the surgery and I answered yes so, I signed the dotted line and that was that!  He said that the next time he'd see me would be on the 6th of October. 

I need to chase up when the sleep study is as if I have sleep apnoea (which Dr Goldin and Dr Winnett are quite sure I do), I will need to wear a mask at night before the surgery to ensure that I can breathe to the best of my ability which will ensure a quicker recovery and a safer procedure.  I'm pretty sure that I'll be going in for that on Friday (this one coming).

I did have one question to ask him that I couldn't find and answer for in any book and that was what the most dangerous part of the whole process is going to be for me at my weight.  He said the surgery.  I am going to be under for around 4 and a half hours. 

It then hit me how important it is that I stick to my Optifast and don't screw up.  Sure, things are going to happen and I need to deal with them in the best way I know how but, getting myself as healthy as possible for surgery is my priority.  I've had some very stressful things happen to me in the past 2 weeks and I am pleased with how I have managed them but at the same time, I KNOW that I now need to manage them better to make sure that I am in the best condition possible to be operated on.

Putting everything else aside that's made me stressed over the past few weeks, I feel quite calm about the whole thing but at the same time quite nervous.  Dr Winnett said he'd be a bit worried if there wasn't a touch of nerves as it would mean I didn't realise how serious this was.

Tonight for dinner, I STILL feel like having Indian (this is something that came up weeks ago).  I thought 'maybe I could just have it and tomorrow I'll be on track'.  instead, I went down to Coles and bought myself my leafy greens, came home, mixed up my Optislim shake, drank 750ml of water and sat down to eat (and type!).  I feel as though I've found the momentum I needed to keep going and going hard.

I know that my blog has been a mixture of up and downs over the past week or so.  It's been hard to write some of it because it's hard to admit that I am not perfect but at the start, I said that at times my journey wouldn't be the prettiest to read but at least it's real and that's what I'm aiming for.  In 6 months time - maybe even 6 weeks, to read back through this will be surreal.  I look forward to the moment.

So, at 12.30 on the 6th of October, I'll rock up to the Hosptial and by the end of the day I'll be a bandit!  It's all starting to come together.  And slowly starting to sink in.

Now only if I get these migraines to go away, I'd be happy :)

Temptations resisted today - INDIAN!  oh, and I've also felt like KFC all day!  Not sure why...

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