Monday, October 10, 2011

Dedicated to Lachie...

We all have them - the days where we simply CBF doing what we know we should be doing.  In my case, tonight it was going to the gym.  Now that I have no fill and I can eat a lot more than I have been able to in the past year, it is SO important that I work out whenever I can.  And tonight, if it weren't for my eldest Son, Lachie, I would not have gone.

Lachie is now officially a member of my Gym :) I signed him up last week to start today.  I have been setting a fine example for all of the Children for the past year about how important regular exercise and correct eating habits are and although I've had the best intentions of doing more exercise with them all, it's been a bit hard due to time constraints so, I thought it would be a good idea to sign Lachie up at the Gym.

He has been nagging me since yesterday to go.  I told him that we'd go tonight.  I got an SMS at around 4.30 asking if we could go to the Gym and I said yes.  When I got home, he asked what time we'd be going and I said 'when Dad gets home'.  'When Dad gets home' turned into 'after I've gotten tea' and in the end, we left as everyone was about to have dinner.

He did SO well.  We did 5 minutes of cross trainer, 10 minutes of treadmill (which included a minute of running) and 10 minutes on the bike.  We did a few weights - I started him on some really light upper body exercises (pull downs and a seated row) and then onto push ups.  We did a cool down and got home about half an hour ago. 

I have thanked him about 20 times for motivating me to go to the gym.  If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have gone.  I know that without doubt.   I'm going to get him an exercise book and write down what he's done each time he goes.  He thinks it's funny that his Mother is his 'Personal Trainer' in the making (literally) but, I don't want him to go through what I've gone through.  Living life like this is hard.  And if I can get him interested and motivated, hopefully he'll never experience what I have.

I was amazed at his dedication tonight - he was walking the same pace as I was (on double the incline).  I know that at the moment, it's a novelty for him (just like it is for all of us when we join the gym) but, I hope that by mixing it up, he'll enjoy going and it will become part of our routine.  I am going to get him to come 3 times a week with me and shall write out a program with him after I've worked out what he enjoys (and doesn't enjoy).  I'm really looking forward to watching him achieve some goals.  I am proud of him.  And I know that he is proud of me. 

Thank you, Lachie.  I love you so much xoxo

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Found my mojo :)

Ouch!  I am so stiff and sore!  Serves me right for not doing at least some kind of exercise for the past 5 weeks or so.

I had my PT with Neil on Thursday night.  It went really well.  I was able to manage to work with the weights that I was doing during my last PT sessions at the Gym.  I was a bit rusty but quickly got into the hang of it.  Neil taught me a lot of different stretches and spoke about the sorts of things that we are going to do during our sessions.  I'm really looking forward to working with him.  I see him next on Wednesday.

I stayed at Mum and Dad's house last night.  Lachie spent the week up there for the School Holidays so, I needed to go and pick him up.  It made more sense to drive there last night and drive back home today rather than do 3 hours of driving in 1 day.  I got up at 7.45 and went for a 4km walk.  They live in a very hilly area so it was great to walk around.  At one stage, I thought I was going to die as I walked up a really big hill but, I kept my pace up and was quite surprised at the speed that I was maintaining.  I wore my heart rate monitor and was shocked at the fact how low my rate was.  I felt like my heart was about to explode but in actual fact, I was no where near my maximum.

It feels really good to be back in the swing of things again.  I am going to go for a walk with the kids tomorrow.  I don't think I'll get much of a pace going with the Twins on their bikes as I have to keep stopping every 50 metres or so but it will be nice to get some fresh air.  I have heard it's supposed to rain tomorrow so if it does, I'll go to the gym instead.

I want to make special mention of one of my gorgeous friends tonight - Tracey.  It was a year ago today that she started her weight loss journey.  She has lost 44.3kg since she started her journey a year ago today.  I am amazed at her results and am in awe of what she has achieved.  Trace and I 'met' almost 6 years ago on a weight loss forum and it's been wonderful to see her transform into the person she is today.  I am SO proud of her.  Check out this before and after shot...

The link to her blog (and her latest entry) is here...

I've been feeling a lot better over the past few days.  I'm starting to get back into the swing of things.  And it feels good to be back on the right track :) thank you to everyone who sent me messages... I'm okay - like I said, it's something that think I can fix and I have proven that to myself over the past few days.  I will beat this.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Spanner in the works but the spanner won't stop me...

Yes, it's been a while.  I've had a few things occur over the past few weeks that have put a massive spanner in the works but, I think things are slowly sorting.

I went and saw my Doctor last week as I am quite concerned about how low I've been.  I've had some major lows over the past few weeks (mostly which I think were related to not being able to eat or exercise - totally putting me out of whack) and he agreed however, he has prescribed me some anti depressants.  I did say to him that I am going to leave it a few weeks to see how I feel before starting to take them. 

I have a history of depression and haven't been on medication for well over a year.  I don't think I need to go on them - I think I need to re tweak a few things and deal with some stuff before making such a decision to go back on them.  My Doctor supports my decision however, wants me to come back in a few weeks to check in.

It's been just over a week since I had all the fluid removed from my band.  It is such a strange feeling.  I can actually eat!  And it has proven to be both a good thing and a bad thing.  I have really been enjoying the fact that for the first time in almost a year I am able to eat things like bread, tiny bits of steak, CHICKEN!, Sushi, crumpets, rice - all sorts of things.  I haven't had much rubbish food (which is a bit of a surprise) but, I gave myself the first week to indulge.  And I certainly did that.  And I enjoyed it.  Simple things that I forgot I can no longer do like sculling a bottle of water are things that I am enjoying.  It's like having a little 'holiday' from my band.  I still can't eat much however, I can have more than normal, bigger quantities than normal and takes me a lot longer to feel full as things are going through the band a lot quicker.

Today was another 'down' day for me.  Like I said, I've been feeling up and down and these have been quite severe over the past few weeks.  I asked Callum to check the mail for me and amongst bills other things, there was a letter from Julia Gillard.  This isn't uncommon as I am in her electorate.  I opened it to see this... (address removed for obvious reasons!) - click on it to make it bigger...

After reading this, I remembered how good I felt at the time of the stair climb.  How motivated I was and how fit I was.  I remembered why I am on this journey and that I owe this to myself because I am worth it.  Although I don't feel that great at the moment, I know things are going to get better and I know what I need to do to make them better.  So, after having my little moment of rediscovery, I dragged myself to the gym. 

Firstly, I located my heart rate monitor.  I turned it on and it had several rude messages for me letting me know that I hadn't been doing what I was supposed to be doing - all of them were totally justified!  I decided to reset the data and start again.  I also measured myself before I left (I will put that information on my measurements page - not sure how I went yet in comparison to last time I measured myself) but, I am hoping it's quire remarkable!

When I got to the gym, I chatted to Eileen (the receptionist).  It was great to see her - I haven't seen her for some time (the 31st of August was my last visit to the Gym).  It was great to get back into things.  I didn't work too hard as I want to ease myself back into it.  I did enough to 'feel it'.

I have a PT session tomorrow night at 8.  It will be interesting to see how I go during that as I haven't been for some time.  I'm booked in to see a new Trainer now - his name is Neil.  I've heard some great things about him so, it will be interesting to see what he comes up with.

So, that's where things stand at the moment.  I've had a lot of ups and downs over the past year but more so over the past few months.  It's been pretty tough.  If anyone can get through it, it's me.  I've tackled some amazing things over my time.  This is just another one that I need to get through. 

Depression is shit (sorry for the swear word but, it is) and to a certain point, it's still something that people don't like to talk about but, I'm happy to share my experiences.  It's all part of my journey which is all part of the road that will lead me to my destination which is closer than I think :)