Day 14

I'm still not back on track...

This morning I had some toast with Vegemite.  For lunch I had a salad roll and for tea I had a small serving of roast lamb - more steamed vegies than lamb.

TOMORROW I AM BACK ON TRACK.

I am scared about weigh day tomorrow rather than excited as I have spent the last day indulging rather than focusing on my Optifast diet.  I am worried that I have put back on rather than lost - that would be my ultimate punishment.

I am getting up in the morning to go to the Gym.  I am getting up at 5.40, chucking on my running shoes and heading for the Gym.  I'll spend half an hour there and then I'll come home and go to work.  I might get into work a bit later than normal but at least I've done my morning work out.  I'll also aim to go to the Gym in the afternoon. when the kids are in bed.

I'll write down what I'm drinking and the times i have my Optifast again.  I was doing so well when I did that - when I stopped doing it on Thursday, everything just seemed to go of course.  At least I can be honest with myself (and others!).

The next 6 weeks are not a game.  They are serious.  They are the mandatory 6 weeks that I absolutely HAVE to do the Optifast for before my Surgery.  It's do this or don't have the Surgery.

It's time to get back on track and MOVE FORWARD (he he - at least that's my saying again now that the election has pretty much hung itself and isn't moving anywhere!).

This week I hope to do myself (and all of you) very proud xoxo

20 minutes later...

I just had a look at www.fishpond.com.au to see if there were some books on emotional eating.  I found a fair few.  This bought me to books about self esteem.  I was about to check out with $150 worth of reading material in my cart (certainly not the first time in the last few weeks...) but, I looked through my purchases and removed the self esteem books. 

In the past few weeks, despite the normal comments from bystanders, the battle in the clothes stores, the every day problems that come with being over weight - I've felt pretty good about myself as a person.  I would describe my self esteem as being quite high.  The emotional eating on the other hand is something that has always been there.  It's not going to go away unless I deal with it.  Even after I've had the band put it, I'll still find that there's times when I use food to comfort and protect myself from whatever is hurting me.  That's what I have to work on now.  I shall let you know what the book is like.  I am just happy that there are a few out there :)