Wednesday, June 24, 2015

What a week :)

It's been around a week since I got back on track with things and I am so proud of my efforts thus far. 

I've been to the gym 4 times, I've eaten really well and I have been conscious of making the right choices (I just refused chocolate even though I really, really, REALLY feel like eating some!).

I had my first PT session in around 2 and a half years on Monday.  It was more of a fitness test to see where I'm at and although I didn't ask the results of the test, I know that I'm not very fit at all!  I asked my PT to take some full length photos of me.  I don't particularly like the photos but they are a good yard stick to measure how far I've come.  I look at ones from when 165kg and I know that I can get back there.  It's very motivational to look back at where I was and know that it's achievable.  You'll be able to see below the massive difference that 20kg can make.  I put all of the photos I have taken up on my facebook page which you can find at

Around 165kg

I have another PT session tomorrow at 1.30 and I don't think he is going to go as easy on me this time! 
I was really proud of myself today though.  I went to the gym yesterday with my eldest son and because we were both together and we were chatting etc... the time went by quickly.  Today, I didn't have anyone to talk to.  I walked in and went on the bike first for 10 minutes and then jumped on the treadmill.  After about 5 minutes of being on the treadmill, I was annoyed and bored!  Rather than giving up, I covered up the time and the speed with my towel and increased the incline.  I looked at the time again about 5 minutes later (I thought it was that much!) only to find that I had only walked for another 2 minutes!  So I increased the speed to 5km an hour.  At this point, I was hot and puffed and honestly felt like giving up.  But I didn't.  I kept on going.  And I am so proud of myself for doing so.  When I do little things like that, I KNOW I can do this.  It will take time but I will get there :)
Hot and sweaty and yuck! :P
I'm amazed at the support I've received over the last few days (I know I've said this each time but it's true!).  The messages of encouragement have been wonderful.  I have also jumped on Instagram - movingforwardlookingforward - I thought that I would go there and share my photos of food, quotes and other things.  I am going to use the hashtag #fatfitspo.  For those who don't know what a fitspo its, according to urban dictionary Fitspo is 'short for "fitsporation" Images of active, strong, and fit women that promote proper exercise and diet.' I shall also adopt the hastag #fatspiration - I believe that both these hashtags are commonly used for the purpose that I am using them for (I honestly thought I had thought them up!).
Oh, and it's weigh day tomorrow!  I can't wait to find out how I have gone.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

I must wear my FatBit, I must wear my FatBit...

So I got my FatBit a week and a half ago.  I planned on wearing it even though I had no intention of increasing my movements just to see how much I don't actually do and today (the first day that I have been out and about since I got it), I left it next to the bathroom sink!  I'm not sure how many steps I did (I wouldn't have reached my 10,000) but I'm cross! 

We went to a park in Gisborne today.  It was FREEZING but there was a great walking track.  I took the dogs for a walk around it with my eldest.  The doggies got so cold!  I am going to have to put their jackets on next time we go.

Baby Milly and I :)

My Pug Dog, Peppa <3 font="">

Baby Rosie :)
I have my first PT session in a few years tomorrow.  I am a bit nervous!  I told the PT over the phone that I have a sore knee at the moment.  I did say that he doesn't need to go easy on me.  I saw him once or twice before I stopped everything so he knows that I will go as hard as I can - no excuses.  I shall write how I go tomorrow (so long as my arms aren't so sore that I can't type!).  I SHALL make sure I bring my FatBit tomorrow!

Today I ate normal food.  I felt a bit queezy from the shakes.  I think that my body remembers what it was like being on them for 8 weeks so long ago!  I bought some bars to eat instead of the shakes so I may do a shake for breakfast, a bar for lunch and a soup for dinner.  I don't want to feel icky again! 

I also think it's time for another fill :) I have an appointment with Dr Winnett next month.  I am certainly in the green zone (my band is the perfect tightness) but I am thinking it's a little too green.  I need a bit more put in and I know that last time I saw Dr Winnett he wrote me up a referral to have some done (which I've lost!) so I may ask him to post it to me so I can get it done this week :) here is a chart that helps you determine which zone you are in.  I've been in the green zone for a while but I've also been in the red zone, so much so I couldn't even swallow water!  That was NOT fun.

For those of you who don't know, the lap band is a band that makes the size of your stomach smaller.  It is done up around your stomach like a watch and a small tube runs from the band to a port which is placed almost between your ribs and belly button under your boob (or chest if you're a boy!).  The port is underneath the skin and is located when you need a fill or when you need fluid removed.  They use a needle to get to the port (the needle is VERY long!) and I'm fortunate that I don't feel the needle go in but some Patients experience a stinging sensation along with pressure when they have theirs done.  I end up with bruises after mine.  I also have to go and get mine done under an XRay due to my size so it's a pain in the bum having to drive into the city each time I need one.  I look forward to when Jason can do it in his rooms like he used to.  I have put up photos in the past of the needle, my puncture marks and my bruises.  I shall post some more next time I go as well!
I want to thank you all once again for the support since 'coming out' :P it's been fantastic to have so many people behind me.  I can't wait until weigh day on Thursday to see how well I've gone.  I know that not everything is in the numbers.  I remember there were months where I worked my butt off and did everything right but never lost anything so, I may not change on the scales but I'm sure I will given the fact I've done pretty much nothing over the last few years.  We shall see...


Friday, June 19, 2015

Updated weights and measurments... gulp!

I weighed myself yesterday morning.  I confessed to a few people that I thought I would be close (it not slightly over) 200kg.  I am pleased to say that I wasn't. 

I thought that I would post my weight history along with my current weight.  This makes me feel pretty good about where I'm at today :)

04.8.2010 - 243kg (535 lb and 11.57 oz)
02.12.2010 - 218kg (480 lb and 9.72 oz)
17.3.2011 - 197.4kg (434 lb and 4.97 oz)
28.4.2011 - 193.4kg (425 lb and 7.87 oz)
09.06.2011 - 186.3kg (410 lb and 11.53 oz)
20.07.2011 - 176.8kg (289 lb and 8 oz)
25.08.2011 - 171.2kg (around 379 pounds)
23.09.2011 - 165.9kg (around 365 pounds)
16.11.2011 - 176.4kg (around 389 pounds)
30.11.2011 - 172.1kg (around 379 pounds)

2.8.2012 - 199.6kg (around 440 pounds)
25.10.2012 - 199.9kg (around 440 pounds)
Sometime in February 2013 - 209kg (around 460 pounds)
6.2.2013 - 204kg (around 449 pounds)
11.4.2013 - 211kg (around 465 pounds)
27.9.2013 - 196.4kg (around 433 pounds)

Enough with all of that - the figure I care about it the one I wrote down yesterday (drum roll please...)

I'm currently 186.6kg :) this means that I have lost 57kg since I started my journey.  And that's pretty amazing.

I'm right in the middle of the lowest I got to back in September 2011 and the magic number of 200kg.  I'm in an amazing place.  I was on top of the world when I heard my scales say that number and it's certainly motivated me.  I am just pleased I'm still under 200kg. 

I had to read back through my blog to get the last few weights and I can see where things went wrong.  But I'm determined to give it another shot.  I took my measurements as well (I'll write these up here should you wish to read them -  I take my measurements every month so I'll update them again mid July.

Today I went down to the Chemist and purchased some OptiSlim.  As I said yesterday, I am going to do shakes for a few weeks to get some of my weight off so I can exercise without being sore.   I am going to stop them when I've lost 10 or 15 kilograms and then I will start eating as I normally would.  I used to use the OptiFast but the difference in price is huge!  I also prefer the variety in the OptiSlim range.  I got the premium ones as they sounded better than the normal ones.  I am going to have the shakes to replace my breakfast and lunch.  For dinner, I'll have a shake and some vegetables but the nights that I feel like something a little extra, I'll have whatever I've cooked the rest of the family for dinner that night.  I'm not going to go to hard.  I want it to be sustainable.

I'm glad I knew what I was looking for today.  There were shakes and diet products as far as the eye could see!

Tomorrow I will take my body shots and I shall post them up.  I can't remember how often I used to take these (I think it was monthly).  I'll also get to the gym at some stage as well.  My weekends are flat out but this is where making time comes in. 

I'd like to thank everyone for their messages of support since I restarted my blog.  It's been lovely to have such positive feedback.  I've started  a Facebook page as well to compliment this blog.  It's feel free to check it out.

Enjoy your weekend :)

I have a weightloss Facebook page!

A few people have suggested to me that I start a Facebook page about my weight loss journey.  Feel free to like it if you wish to :)

Thursday, June 18, 2015

57kg down, 101kg to go. Time to get back on track.

17.12.2013.  This is the date that I last updated my blog and in that time, so many things have changed and I'm not even sure where to start!

If you are one of my regular readers, you would have noticed that I slowly dropped off the face of the planet, never to be seen again!  Once I've finished typing this, I'll respond to the many emails I've received in the past 577 days.  Although many things have changed during that time, a few remain the same.  I'm still fat, I still want to lose weight and just like right at the beginning of my journey back in July 2010, I once again have a desire to tackle one of the biggest (no pun intended) challenges in my life - tackling my weight.

I've been thinking about this for the past few weeks and I'd like to talk about the reasons I have decided that it's time.  It's not because that man called me a 'fat c**t' the other week, it's not because I quite often feel as though I shouldn't leave the house due to comments I see made to women who are smaller than me from people who are fat shaming bullies nor is it because I'm not happy in my own skin.  The main reason is quite simple - I have a sore knee!

I have noticed in the past few months that my left knee is aching after I've climbed a few stairs or been sitting for a long time.  I signed up to a gym last night and I went there tonight for the first time in a few years.  I did Aqua Aerobics.  I did this class for a few reasons but mainly because it would offer me a low impact workout and I'd also be able to identify where my sore points are and yep, my left knee and ankle are most certainly sore.  I have decided that I may go on shakes for a few weeks to lose 15 kilograms or so I can then work out to my full potential.  I haven't yet worked out my plan of attack yet but I shall conjure up something.

I also know that exercising is going to not only help with my physical health but also my mental health.  During my journey, I have touched slightly on my 'quirks' and I'll talk about them in more depth over the next few months.  I don't need a study to show that I feel better when I've been exercising and when I'm looking after myself.  I was on cloud 9 when I was at my peak a few years ago.  Over time, I look forward to getting back there.

I purchased a FatBit last week (I know, I know - it's really a FitBit but I'm not fit yet!) and I haven't done anything different since purchasing it so I wasn't really shocked that not once have I met my 10,000 steps goal.  This must change! If you want to add me as a friend the FitBit app, my Email address is

A bit about me (for those who don't know!), I'm 35.  I have 4 children aged 16, 14 and twins who are 7.  I work at a desk job 3 days a week and I'm also studying (Diploma of Community Services) so I need to find time in amongst these things to exercise. And I will find the time as I want to find the time.  One of the reasons I used to use was 'I don't have the time' but I didn't have the time when I first ran on the treadmill a few years ago or when I climbed the 46 flights of stairs in my office building.  I actually had less time then than what I do now. 

I look at who I was a few years ago and I want to be back there.  I want to feel that feeling of health, accomplishment and achievement.  I want to be able to inspire others, prove to myself I can do this and also one day wear a bikini!  I still have goals, hopes and dreams.  And I look forward to sharing them all with you again in the weeks, moths and years to come. 

There are so many things I want to talk about.  I am FURIOUS how recently it appears that it's okay to 'fat shame' someone.  It is NOT acceptable.  Some of you may remember a few years back when I was told that I should buy 2 tickets when I catch the train to accommodate my 'fat ass'.  It wasn't acceptable then and it's not acceptable now.  Over the last few months several of my friends have experienced this and it has to stop.  It is not on and I won't stand for it.  I have my voice back and I'm not afraid to tell it how it is.

As I said at the start, a lot of things have changed but I am lucky that the important things have stayed the same.  I have the most amazing group of people in my life.  As some people know I've had a very upsetting few weeks and It's interesting that it's always the hard times that reveal who your true friends are.  You know who has your back when you get knocked down only to stand tall again to see who is still standing with you.  And you all know who you are and I thank you for your understanding, compassion and unconditional acceptance of both me and my quirks.

Looking forward to sharing my journey (warts and all) with you again.

Stephanie xo

P.S - weights, measurements and current photos to come!  I weighed myself this morning (it was a lovely surprise!) but I want to post them with my body measurements.  Now where did I leave that tape measure? ;)