Sunday, January 23, 2011

31 today, 31 today...

Yay!  It's my birthday :)

I've had a fantastic time.  I stayed away in Ballarat last night.  Drank WAY too much wine :/, spent a few hours in a spa and painted a dragon at the plaster fun house.  It was the perfect weekend.  Couldn't have thought of a better way to spend it.

I also got some beautiful messages on FB which I treasure.

We had dinner at the local Hotel tonight.  I had side servings of mashed potato and the vegetables.  Probably got through 4 tablespoons full of the mash and a tiny bit of the broccoli.  I did save room for some ice cream cake :)

I enjoyed having my photo taken tonight :) I look forward to comparing myself to photos this time next year.  I am sure that I will look amazing.

At the moment, I am feeling great.  I am full of confidence, I am energetic (well, energetic but not motivated) and am feeling bright and bubbly. 

I am SO tired though!  I didn't get to bed until after 3 in the morning this morning an I have work tomorrow.

I added my weight from Wednesday on my weights and shall blog some more tomorrow.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

A week goes by too fast

It was only today that I realised I haven't written my blog for a week.  And it was only today that I realised that I don't write when I am not doing.  Which is pretty much what has been happening.  I have not been concentrating on doing what I should be doing the way I'd like to be.

How hard is it?  To exercise for half an hour a day and make sure I drink plenty of water?  They are really the only 2 things that I need to get under control.

I am eating really well.  I have been having small, nutritious meals (does Chocolate count?) and I have been making conscious decisions to not have certain foods when the cravings arise such as pizza, crisps, lollies, salad dressings and cheeses that are not so good. I''ve been really good with writing down my foods that I have been eating - it' just now a matter of getting these 2 litres of fluid down and the half an hour of exercise in per day.

Tomorrow, I will go for a walk at lunch time.  I am working Overtime tomorrow night so I have a dinner break of half an hour as well.  I'll go for a walk then as well. 

I still haven't been back to the gym since just after I had surgery.  Another thing on my 'to do' list.

Now that I write down what I've been doing, thing don't sound so bad.

It's weigh day tomorrow!  I shall put down the details sooner rather than later this time, I promise.

On another note - I just saw a preview for a new TV show that is starting on 9.  It's called 'Mike and Molly''.  It's described as a big comedy.  The reason for this?  The 2 main characters are overweight. 

It really pisses me off how the only time you see overweight people on TV is on shows like 'the biggest loser', weight loss commercials (the before shot) or the progress of weight loss with companies that endorse their products using celebrities (like Jenny Craig are at the moment with Chrissy and Magda) or when there's a sitcom about overweight people such as this Mick and Molly show..

Hey, I'm all for laughing and I really enjoy some American Sitcoms but the previews that I have seen so far have shown moments that I have gone through myself such as putting your hand on a piece of furniture to lean on it and it falling out from underneath you due to your weight or walking on a treadmill as people tempt you with cake or fried chicken.  I dunno.  It just annoys me how bigger people are portrayed.  It's never for who they really are and what's inside, it's for others to laugh at them and at moments that have been experienced by a lot of overweight people that weren't laughing but were actually crying.

One commercial shows Molly sitting down on a chair and it broke underneath her.  That's happened to me plenty of times.  When it happens, I can't put into words how it feels but it's not a laughing matter.  And it upsets me that some of the most upsetting moments that I have gone through (and many of those around me) has been turned into a sitcom. 

Most recently, I was looking for somewhere to go away this coming weekend to celebrate my birthday.  When picking a place to stay, everyone has their list of what they would like to have - perhaps a spa in the room, a late check out, an included breakfast, mini bar - the first thing I think about is if the bed is going to be strong enough.

I stayed at a Caravan Park a few years ago.  We decided to stay there due to the fact that it was SO hot and our air conditioner just wasn't cutting it.  We looked up a place to stay close by so I could come home and refill our Pet's water.  We stayed there for 2 nights.  On the first night, I sat on the edge of the bed and it broke. The wheel came out from underneath it as the wood had snapped underneath it.  The same happened just before the babies were born - I broke the bed.  Brad and I spent a month or so on the Mattress on the floor before we went and got a new bed.  We ended up getting a sleep number as it takes both of our weight and I'm not scared to sit on it as it's not going to break. 

I look forward to when I don't have to worry about where I stay due to the fact I might break the bed.  I was worried about breaking the beds at Mum's house when I have stayed there.  And I can't lay on David's bed as I have broken it before.  I hate it how I have to kneel on the floor to comfort him.  I want to cuddle him and be close to him - not kneeling on the floor.  And watching a sitcom with hundreds of examples like the one above makes me cringe.

These things will all change over time and I can't wait until I do.  These are the sorts of things that keep me on track.  This is what will get me walking tomorrow and drinking that water. 

I hope everyone is staying safe at the moment.  The conditions that some people in are horrible.  My thoughts are all with those who are affected xo

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Twas the night before weigh in

It's weigh day tomorrow.

I haven't been best behaved over the last few weeks and I feel that it's caught up on me. 

Apart from the fact my period is due (which makes weight fluctuate), I weighed myself on Monday as that's when I started my proper eating plan.

When I weighed myself, I was 201.4kg :/

I have been keeping a record of what I have been eating and it's going really well  This is what I did at the start of my journey when I was on the Optifast.  I am using 'the pocket food and exercise diary' which can be substituted for a blank exercise book.  It has enough space to record 10 weeks of your food intake, fluid intake, exercise and weight.

Today, I had 1 cup of Special K, 1 cup of Milk, 1 barocca, 1 iron melt, maybe a tablespoon of a ham and salad roll, 1/4 of a home made chicken parma, 1/2 a cup of carrot, 1/2 a cup of broccoli, 2 glasses of wine and a small piece of chocolate cake (it was Lachie's 12th birthday today).

When taking a look at my diary, there are 2 things missing - I haven't had enough water (I only had 2 glasses) and I didn't exercise.  I ate better today than I did yesterday but once again, I didn't exercise nor did I have enough to drink.  I will work on both of these things tomorrow.

I did intend on walking with the kids today.  The babies were in the pram and the boys had their bikes and just as we were just about to leave, it started to rain.  It kept going on and off all day so exercise didn't happen today.  Or yesterday.

I really start need making the time to go the gym.  I haven't been in so long.  It is just so hard to make that time when I have so many other things to do.  I will get it happening, it's just a matter of when...

Shall let you know what the scales say tomorrow morning... hope that they are nicer to me than what they were on Monday...

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Hi ho, hi ho...

It was back to work for me today... work reopened yesterday (we were closed from 12pm on Christmas Eve last year).  It was SO busy.  I was on phones first up (but only for 2 hours) and my first call was a really complicated one.  The Client was quite annoyed.  I managed to sort out his problem so the call ended well.  I then had another angry Client a few calls later who was IRATE!  It was quite hard to explain things to her as she kept talking over me.  I ended up being able to help her but, it took about 40 minutes to do so!

It's nice to be home :)

I weighed myself this morning - I am 198.4kg.  I lost 200gm! At least it is a loss.  I haven't done anything to earn more than 200gm as I haven't been very well behaved when it has come to food and exercise over the past few days.  I seriously have no motivation.  I should be working a lot a harder but, I just don't seem interested in doing so at the moment.  I have lost my mojo and I need to find where I left it...

I am at the point where a lot of people who are losing weight get to - they pay their gym fees and they don't go.  They don't lose anything as they are not doing anything to do so.  And for some reason, I seem content with that which is not a good thing.  I know the moment will pass but I need to find something that will help me spring into action...

I have had some great feedback from my Surgery photos.  I am so pleased that everyone who has (and is game) enough to look at them!  As mentioned, they are like the ones that you'd see on any medical show.  They are internal shots.  A few of my work colleagues have seen them (one of the girls are really squeamish) and she said she didn't find them to be that bad.

Hope everyone is well and is almost writing 2011 instead of 2010!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Surgery photos are up!

Just a quick post tonight as I am so tired!

I have posted the Surgery photos.  They are in a seperate folder to my normal photos as I understand that not everyone wants to see them.  I have also added some photos of my post op wounds and my scars as to what they look like today.  It's quite amazing how quickly things heal.

I have had quite an uneventful day today.  I did inend on going for a walk but didn't have the eneergy nor the motivation.  There's nothing stopping me tomorrow though.  I need to get back into it.

Hope everyone enjoys the public Holiday tomorrow :) I'm not back at work until Wednesday.  I worked 2 days of overtime during the Christmas break so that helped me get bak into the swing of things a bit.  I can't say that I'm overly excited at the prospect of having to return but, that's life hey!

Weigh day in 2 days :)

I'm off to bed.  Night :)

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!

Hi all :) 

I hope everyone is well.  I can't believe how long it has been since I have blogged.  It was on the 30th of November.  So much has happened since then but I've been SO busy - it's been hard to get on here and give an update.

Firstly, before I yabber on about what's been going on with me, I wanted to say how proud I am of those who have started making changes to their lifestyle to better themselves :) I am humbled at the number of people who have been inspired by my story and I love keeping up with their progress.  It inspires me to keep on going with my journey when I see those who have started their own because of the changes I have made in my own life.  Thank you all for this xo

So, I guess I should start with the follow up appointment that I had with Dr Winnett.  I saw him on the 2nd of December.  He took my dressings off (which I had changed several tims after the surgery) and was pleased with the way everything was healing.  The only part that wasn't healing as fast was my belly button but, that cleared up a few days later after twice daily betadine blots :)

At this point, he weighed me.  He said that I was 218kg.  Now, I don't normally argue with Doctors (especially Dr Winnett as he is very knowledgable and I trust him) but, I don''t understandd how there can be a 20kg discrepany in what his sales say and what mine say.  I let him know that according to my scales, I was a lot less.  I gave him a small Christmas gift - some samples from the Optifast range.  He has never had it before.  He promised that he would try the soups and the bars and the shakes by the time I saw him next.  He didn't seem to keen about it!  At least he'll know what it tasts like (crap) and will have a fair idea about what his patients go through for up to 6 weeks at a time!  I made my next appointment for the 27th of January 2011 where I will have my first fill.  I'm telling you now, I need it!  More on that a bit later...

I haven't had any problems so far.  I eased off the fluids onto mushies an then onto normal foods.  I have been able to eat pretty much everything but I do find that I can't eat Chicken as it seems to get stuck :/ I am chewing it enough but it doesn't seem to be going down easily.  For those 'non bandits' - when something gets stuck, it's an awful feeling!  For me, the pain is in my ribs.  I have only had one thing get stuck (the Chicken) and I had a sip of Coke which bought it right back up.  After I had the Coke, I tolerated the pain of it going past the food that was above the jammed bit and then seconds later, I vomitted some frothy Coke up and then about 20 seconds after that, I vommitted again.  This time, the piece of chicken came with it :)

I am still getting used to learning a few things about my band.  I notice if I drink with a meal, it hurts a bit as the liquid passes the food that I have already eaten.  I have also noticed that I have been able to eat a lot more in the last few weeks than what I was able to after I had come off the fluids.  I am not able to eat a normal sized meal but I am able to eat more than what I should be.  That is why I am looking forward to my fill!  I'll still need to rely on will power when it comes to making the right decisions about what to eat but at least I won't be able to eat lots (or more than what I should be) like I can at the moment. 

I will add my weights in the next few days but last Wednesday (29.12.2010), I was 198.6kg.  There was one point when I stopped fluids that I went back over 200kg - this was to be expected.  I was a bit annoyed about it but, it hasn't happened since.  Things can only go down from here.

I had a wonderful NYE - I spent it at home with my family.  I got a tad drunk (forgetting that alcohol will have more of an impact on me now that I am a bandit).  I had about 6 shots, 2 alcoholic apple ciders, 3 Vodka Cruisers and maybe 4 glasses of wine.  I was a bit gone :/ I have paid for it today though.  I don't drink a lot often so it's every few years I experience the 'day after' effects that one experiences when they've had a bit too much to drink!

I have spent some time thinking about 2011 and what it's going to bring.  It's nice to know that when I am sitting here this time next year, I should be under (or just over) 150kg.  I am not into resolutions - more goal setting. 

One of them is to eat healthy and exercise as much as I can.  I have been slack over the last month or so as it has been such a busy time.  I haven't been at the gym since the time I went after my surgery.  This will change. 

I will start using my 'lap band' plate and bowl that I bought for Christmas and I will also use the many Recipe books I bought pre Surgery to make up some yummy meals.

My other is to blog just as much as I was pre Surgery.  It is now that my transformation will take place.  I need to post all of my full length photos up as well.  I am also going to post up the photos that were taken during my surgery.  I will put these in a seperate area so that those who do not want to see them don't have to look!  I am also going to put up the photos that I took of my tummy the day after my Surgery so that you can see the bruising from where some of the instruments were put in.  This is quite common.  I will also take some photos of my scars which are healing really well.  They are very neat.  I know a lot of people who are considering lap band are worried about these sorts of things (the scarring etc...) so I am putting it up for those who need some reassuance or the mystery taken out of what they might end up with.

I also need to take measurements.  Something I wish I did when I said I was going to.  Better late than never!

I am also going to start using my CPAP machine again.  I haven't used it for at least a month.  Tonight, I shall wear Herman and shall do so again on a regular basis.

That's it for now.

I hope everyone had a fantastic NYE and that everyone has a wonderful 2011.  I can't wait to see what this year brings.  I can't remember the last time I was this excited about the year ahead.

Bring it on!