Saturday, April 30, 2011

Aaaahhh, the weekend :)

I hope everyone is having a great weekend so far :)



I shouldn’t blog in the middle of the day like I did last Thursday – I forget to add the bits about my PT session and other things that I have done.


My PT session on Thursday was fantastic. I worked REALLY hard. I took it easy because of the day before when I had my Asthma Attack but, I was pacing really well. Michael got me to do some stairs. He also got me to do some boxing and getting me to push him along the ground against one of those body pad things. It is hard to do!


He told me that if he gets the chance to do the stair climb with me, he is going to wear a back pack filled with some weight so that it is a challenge for him. I am tempted to push the stair climb back another month or so to give me a bit more time to train and so that I can give him an exact date and time of when we are gong to do it. At this stage, it’s on the 3rd of June 2011. I have a lot of work to do. Michael showed me how to use the stair machine at the gym. It is a bit hard to do but, I shall give it a go next time I am in there. I am very excited! I want to succeed at this stair climb. I don’t just want to walk half way up and say ‘I’m done’. I want to get up the whole thing.


I went to see Katy Perry last night. I was a bit worried about where we would be seated and I was going to do a blog on it however, I am happy that I didn’t because we were right on the edge! I did break the seat though. It made a huge crack noise when I sat on it. I wasn’t as gentle as I may have been though as I did have a few drinks prior to entering the auditorium. I got the tickets as a present for Cath’s birthday and we had a ball. We were quite old compared to the rest of the audience! There was a girl sitting next to Cath who kept screaming and ‘wooing’ at well, nothing. Even when it was totally dark and nothing was about to happen, she would ‘woo’. I thought it was Cath to begin with but no, it was her. We were ‘wooing’ for the rest of the night. Working on different sounding ‘woos’ and we ‘wooed’ the whole way to the Car. It was lots of fun :) I bought a T Shirt that actually fits me. I was a bit tipsy in the pic but, I was so shocked that it went over my head – this would not have been the case 8 months ago!  It's still very tight and probably not something that I will wear outside the house just yet but, IT GOES ON!  WOOO!




I went to the Gym tonight and did some swimming. An hour in the pool. I am SO TIRED! I did 22 laps of swimming and 4 laps of running. 28 laps in all = 700 meters. I think I am tired due to the fact that I didn’t go to bed until 2am this morning!


I am really enjoying the feeling that I have after I have exercised. Although sometimes I am exhausted and hot and sweaty, I feel fantastic. I am going to go for a walk tomorrow. I shall put the babies in the pram and the boys can ride their bikes. I hope it’s a nice day.


I am finding it hard to get food down since my fill. I am able to drink fluids (and shakes) but, some of the harder things aren’t going down at all. I don’t mind if I end up having to drink shakes for the next few weeks which is what has been suggested to me that I do. I shall try some dinner tonight and see how it goes. It is frustrating only being able to eat a tablespoon of food. I think for the sake of getting all of the things that I need in the way of nutrition, I am best to stick to the shakes anyway.


I have next week off (I think I have mentioned that) and I am really looking forward to being at the gym for at least an hour a day. I still haven’t done any classes. Might have to give one a go… still need to muster up the courage to do so!

Your fave work out songs

Okay, team effort needed her guys! What's your favourite work out song? I have a few that I love to listen to. I wanted to upload some more to my playlist so that I have just one set of songs that I listen to whilst I am at the gym rather than having to worry about changing the tracks from something soothing to something a bit more up beat.



Here are my top 10 at the moment, in no particular order...


- Uprising by Muse
- Mr Brightside by The Killers
- Baby I'm getting better by Gyroscope
- The best of you by The Foo Fighters
- Talk like that by The Presets
- Control by Puddle of Mudd
- Supermassive black hole by Muse
- Love today by Mika
- I want you bad by Offspring
- Peacock by Katy Perry

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Video of my second fill

Now, this one is really not for those who don't like needles (or for those who find fat tummies offensive) as it's a close up.  No blood.

Dr Winnett didn't find the right spot as quickly as what he did last time (although he did a good job to find it in the amount of time that he did!). 

I don't think I'll film it again for some time as it's the same thing each time (obviously!).  I'll do it when I've lost another 50kg or so then you'll really be able to see the difference in my tummy :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg7nwSe-tcU

My first Asthma attack (not fun) and another 4kg gone :)

I went to the Gym last night for the first time in almost 2 weeks. I was SO proud of myself as I was walking at 5.2km per hour and I have never done that before. I managed to keep it up for 10 minutes. I had timed my workout on the treadmill to last for 30 minutes but by the time I got to 20 minutes, I was SO puffed. I could hardly breathe.



I decided to stop and have a go on the bike. I haven’t been on an exercise bike for almost 4 years. After I eventually managed to get up on the bike, I set it to 10 minutes. I thought I’d just see how I went before doing anything too extreme. One reason I don’t like going on the bike is because my stomach rests on the tops of my legs and it makes me really uncomfortable. I am very conscious of it and I don’t like the feeling. This didn’t bother me so much as I was too hympotised by my reflection in the mirror. I couldn’t believe how much I jiggled! I rode almost 4.5km and by then, I had finished my work out which was good as I still couldn’t breathe properly however, it was worse this time.


I walked out to my Car to get my Asthma medication and it was empty so I phoned home and asked Brad to get Lachie to meet me out the front with the Script for the repeats. I went to the Chemist and they got the medication for me in minutes. I had my 2 puffs and it didn’t work (I am on Symbacourt). The Pharmasist said I could have 1 more so I did. I still couldn’t breathe and I sounded like an accordion. They said I should either call 000 for an Ambulance to come and pick me up or drive down the road to the Emergency section at Melton Health. So, I went down there. They saw me right away (I now see why they have a Triage system!). I was coughing and wheezing and still couldn’t breathe. I was took down into the rooms and they started off with 12 puffs of Ventolin through a spacer. They did this again 20 minutes later as I was still quite bad. After another 20 minutes, they did the same and there was a slight improvement. I was put on a Nebulizer and sat there quite un impressed! Lachie was amused as he had my iPhone the whole time and decided to take a photo of me in my moment of ‘nebulization’ (can’t even believe that’s a word!).


Not something I want to be doing again in a VERY LONG time!


After that, they kept me there for half an hour. I felt pretty good. I could breathe! It was amazing how bad I sounded compared to how good I was when I left. The Doctor prescribed me steroids for 3 days to help my lungs. It was nice to hear I have ‘exercise induced Asthma’.


I told him that I had done more that night than what I had in ages. I did also mention that during my PT sessions, I have been running out of breath. I’m back on Ventolin as because I am doing more, my Asthma is getting worse. I am off to my PT session in a moment.


I had my appointment with Dr Winnett today as well. I was 197.4 on the 17.3.2011 and today I was 193.4kg. I hoped for more of a loss but I haven’t been doing a lot of stuff over the past few weeks to make that happen. I am seeing him again in 6 weeks. I am going to give it my all in the next 6 weeks (so long as I don’t get any aches and pains like I have had in the last month or so). I am doing really well and he is very proud. I had a fill (I have 4.3ml in my band now) and I can really feel the difference. Even having my shake for lunch is taking it’s time to go down. I know that I haven’t been overfilled this time. There was such a difference between this time and last time when I did have too much.


I was proud (well, not the right word) but pleased to hear that I was his biggest Female patient :) I am not sure why that makes me pleased! Maybe it’s because I don’t come first in much or I don’t take the cake in many things other than things like this! I guess given the fact that I have made the change that I have, I can take more pride in being his biggest patient that he has treated rather than being the biggest patient didn’t make the decision to treated (if that makes sense).


I am SO pleased with my progress. I can’t believe how well things are going. I rewarded myself by buying a few new tops today. It’s nice to feel good about buying new clothes again. I am going to do my PT today and will also have a swim or something after my Doctors appointment.


Go me! :)

Monday, April 25, 2011

Why I will succeed...

Here is an activity to try - I did this early on in the piece before I had my Surgery.  I thought I'd add it as a blog as I deleted the page that it was on.  I didn't want to lose it so I have put it here :) there is also a thought that I put up a few days before my Surgery which is something I didn't want to lose either.

In one of the books that I have purchased, there is the following activity.



You make up 4 columns and title them fears about obesity, fears about the surgery, fears about the potential to fail and why I will succeed.


It's funny as the last column is exactly what you've written in the first column.


FEARS ABOUT OBESITY
- Not living through to see the Kids grow up
- Not being able to wear normal shoes again due to the swelling
- Headaches due to the sleep Apnoea
- Stroke, heart attack, heart palpitations etc…
- Living a ‘larger life’ for the rest of my life
- Not meeting my Grandchildren
- Dying of something related to my weight
- Not being able to have simple tests carried out because I don’t fit through their machines
- The aches and pains associated with being my size
- Feeling like I feel (emotionally and mentally) for the rest of my life
- Being this way for any longer than what I have to be


FEARS ABOUT THE SURGERY

- Dying
- Not waking up from the Surgery
- The surgery not being successful (eg. they can’t get the band on)
- Having people having to move me from one bed to another because of my weight
- Crying on the day of surgery
- Not making it to my goal of under 200 kg before (or on the day of) surgery


FEARS ABOUT THE POTENTIAL TO FAIL


- I am afraid of not changing my eating habits
- I am afraid of my issues regarding emotional eating that need to be addressed – why do I do this?


WHY I WILL SUCCEED

- I want to avoid having a stroke, heart attack or heart palpatations due to being overweight
- I don’t’ want to be big for the rest of my life
- I can’t wait to meet my Grandchildren
- I don’t’ want to die of a weight related issue
- I want to be able to be treated like everyone else when it comes time to having medical tests done
- I want the aches and pains to disappear
- I DON’T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS ANYMORE
- I don’t want to be this way for ANY LONGER

29.10.2010


Today I've actually calculated how many days I have left at work before I have my Surgery. It's 7. I only work part time. Getting through those 7 days is going to be interesting. I'm not feeling so great about myself at the moment and getting out of bed, onto the train and into work is going to be interesting.


I feel sad about saying goodbye to 'me'. I've only just learnt to like me. It's taken m several years to do it. I feel like I am saying goodbye to someone. A friend. Someone I know. Something that is comfortable. Familiar. I'm ready to say goodbye. To move on from this place. To discover a new. I've heard you go through a mourning period. I wonder if there's a pre mourning period as well...


I'm looking forward to it, don't get me wrong. It's the unknown that's got me... I wonder what I'll find.

'The Elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about' - LONG post!

I had a comment posted on my blog titled ‘For what it's worth - my take on the 'Battle of the Bulge' story on 60 minutes 17.4.2011’ that I wrote on the 19.4.2011. Here is the question…



‘a question i have wanted to pose for a long time that i would like you to answer an maybe give me insight on what other people would say is . . well why wait so long? why not start losing weight at 100kg, or 150kg or well i don’t know just earlier....before it got so far out of hand, and as a friend of a person on this track at what stage should you talk to them seriously about it? its like the big elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about. . but when should a friend and how - if you have any tips. . . its not like i want to stage an intervention i just want to let her know that i am worried and that i will do anything to help but i dont want her to push me away or get the wrong idea. . hope its not to personal but please offer an honest reply (or blog because its a broad topic)’


Somewhere at some stage in the last 100 posts that I have put up, I have written about why I waited so long but, without going through each one and quote myself, I’ll go back to the start.


After the twins were born (perhaps just before my wedding which was in August 2008), I decided that I wanted to look a t getting lap band surgery. I decided that it was time because I had stepped on our bathroom scales a month or so before and they said I was 170 odd. After I I stood on them again a month or so later, they didn’t register. I was devastated. I knew they went up to 175kg so, I knew I was over this amount. I just didn’t know how much. After seeing my Doctor and getting a referral for Dr Winnett (who my Doctor just found by chance when he googled the closest surgeon who performed lap band surgery), I phoned Dr Winnet’s rooms to make an appointment. She asked me if I had private health insurance. I didn’t. I found out that the waiting list for lap band surgery was 3 years. I asked if it was based on a triage system. She said no. I was devastated. I wasn’t able to see Dr Winnett for at least 6 weeks anyway as he was so booked out but, I made the appointment anyway. In the mean time, I organised private health insurance cover (something I intended on doing before I turned 30 anyway to avoid extra fees etc…).


I missed my first appointment with him. I am not sure why. I think it was a classic CBF factor. I didn’t even call to cancel. I had other things going on in my life. I was admitted to Hospital back in August 2009 as I was diagnosed with severe post natal depression. I spent a total of 6 weeks in Hospital over the space of 4 months. It was a really tough time. My weight was one of the last things on my mind. At that time, I felt as though I had more important things to concentrate on.


I came out of Hospital on medication. I made another appointment with Dr Winnett. I can’t remember when this one was to take place but, I didn’t attend. Once again, I didn’t even call to cancel. Come to think of it, I also made an appointment to go to a lap banding seminair (you can find one in your state or territory here http://www.gastricbandingprocedure.com.au). I didn’t attend it. Nor did I call to cancel. At this stage, I still had no idea how much I weighed. No idea at all. I just know that I was very defensive about my weight. When I had blood pressure taken, I’d insist that they could use the normal sized cuff rather than the large – just one of the other things that made me feel a bit more normal.


I went back to work in March 2010 after 4 and a half years of Parental leave. This was a very scary thing to do. I had initially taken leave to lose my weight. That was my big goal. A that point, I realised I was a lot bigger however, I didn’t realise that I was around 70kg more than what I was when I left. There weren’t a lot of people that I knew at work and the ones I did know hardly recognised me. I had to arrange to get a ‘fat arse chair’ as the normal ones hurt my back. Things were going well. I had come off my medication (with support from my treating psychiatrist) and was functioning a lot better than what I had for some time.


People did bring the issue of my weight up with me from time to time. I would just answer back that I was happy with who I was and what I was doing and I would lose some weight when I was ready. Now was not the time for that. I still had no idea how much I weighed.


Long story short, I ended up getting migraines on a daily basis. They were so bad. I saw my GP who prescribed medication which sometimes worked but sometimes didn’t, I drank heaps of water, I did do a little bit of walking, I got prescription glasses which made such a difference but didn’t get rid of the headaches. I ended up going to Epworth Private Hosptial and they needed to give me an MRI. When my Neurologist asked me how much I weighed, I said around the 180kg mark. He said he wasn’t so sure that was right (he didn’t say it in a rude way) but stressed the fact it was important for me to find out how heavy I was to make sure I could lay on the bed for the MRI. That’s when they weighed me. I didn’t weigh on one set (they went up to 200kg) so they had to find another set. And their scales said I was 222.9kg. I was DEVISTATED. Some people have said that I knew but I was in denial. That’s not right at all. I had no idea how much I weighed. People around me had noticed that I was putting on weight but, I had no idea I weighed that much. I made an appointment with Dr Winnett that afternoon for the week after I got out of Hospital. I didn’t miss that one. The rest is history.


I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I went to weight watchers as a teenager. I tried Jenny Craig for a few weeks at 17. I tried starving myself. Making myself throw up. I am sure I have mentioned this in one of my blogs as well but I used to wear a belt under my clothing that I wore for at least a year or 2 and I wore it as it made me feel skinny. It gave me a waist. I have a permanent indent from this belt on my stomach to this day. At 100kg, I did try to lose weight. At 150kg, I was still trying. At 165kg, just after I’d arrange to go on my leave from work, I applied to go on the biggest loser (series 1) and as part of the application process, I joined an online forum to find other people who had applied to see how they were feeling or if they’d heard anything back from their application. On this forum is where I met my Husband, Brad. He had also applied.


We decided we’d lose our weight together. We did okay for a while. We were eating the right stuff and doing it together. I am not sure where that went wrong. Brad created a forum that was around for a few years full of people who also wanted to lose weight. A lot of these people had also applied to go on the biggest loser. I still keep in touch with a number of these people today. We were all on a mission. A few of us succeeded but, not many of us. It was almost at times like the blind leading the blind! I love those girls and am proud of our determination and will to ‘hope’ to succeed.


I guess to answer the first part of the question is I have personally tried to lose weight at each of these awful milestones. 100kg, 120kg, 150kg, 160kg, 175kg and then ‘god knows what’ kilos. And I did so without a lot of success. That’s why I turned to lap band. I only speak for myself when I say this but, I have been trying to lose weight for the past 17 years. And I am 31! I would quite often lose weight when I applied myself and tried as hard as I could. Some things work and some things didn’t. Once again, I only speak for myself but I don’t think a day goes by where an Overweight person doesn’t think about their weight. Whether it’s when they walk past a mirror and see their image or if it’s when they can’t do their pants up or to the other extreme where they don’t fit into the drivers seat of a friend’s Car.


I have often compared my case of being overweight to someone who smokes (I gave up almost 4 years ago so, I do speak from experience). You are a smoker. You do it although you know it’s bad for you. Perhaps you have a spouse or Children or some close friends who have bought up your smoking with you and you’ve just shrugged it off. You might cough up phlegm. You see the ads on TV and on the packets. You watch experts speaking on the implications smoking has on the community and the health system. But it’s just something that you do. You might want to give up desperately but until that time comes, the time when YOU’RE ready to give up rather than everyone else around you being ready for you to give up, you’ll continue to smoke. It’s the same with being Overweight. Until you’re ready to make that commitment to choose a healthy lifestyle and find the determination and momentum to succeed, you’ll continue to remain unhealthy and Overweight. It’s something that you do for you, not for others around you.


I guess this is the answer to your question about your friend. There’s nothing wrong with bringing the issue up with them. Gently speaking to them about it. Tell them that you’re worried about their health. Let them know that others are worried. I am not sure if you’re in the position to do so but even suggest that you’ll go for a walk with them twice a week. Do they know what is the right thing to eat? If not, perhaps speak to them about the basic food groups – stay away from fad diets. If you don’t already know, and they’re comfortable in telling you, ask them why they think they’re overweight. Ask them how they feel about being overweight. Often it’s more than what meets the eye. And they might not even know why they are the way they are. That’s when you might want to suggest they speak to someone about it. A good place to start is http://www.findapsychologist.com.au/ (this is assuming you’re in Australia). You owe it to them as someone who cares about them to try and do anything you can to get them over this obstacle, big or small.


I have someone close to me who is dangerously overweight. He is close to the weight that I am now (185kg or there abouts). I am scared about what is going to happen to him if he doesn’t do something soon. I can see that his weight makes him feel like crap. It has sucked the confidence out of him. His self esteem is quite low. He doesn’t realise how much his weight affects those around him. I have offered EVERYTHING to try and help him. I would do ANYTHING for him to just wake up and realise what he is doing to himself. I have spoken to him about it (as early as last night, actually) and I talk to him about the benefits of losing some weight – even 10kg. His shirts would fit better, his pants would fit better, he’d be able to walk a bit more comfortably. He’d feel more alive. I have thought about an intervention. Getting those around him who have raised the issue with me (there have been at least 10 people who have spoken to me directly about it) but, I don’t think that would help.


I’ve spent HOURS talking to this person. Everything I say falls on deaf ears. It’s frustrating. And I feel as though the person is incredibly selfish. It effects them but it also effects those around them. And they don’t care. And that’s what makes me mad. I have said this to them as well but, it’s just another thing that they just ignore. And what can I do about it? Nothing. Just sit back and wait for them to have their moment and just hope that it’s a moment like a small stroke or being diagnosed with diabetes or something like what I had, needing a simple MRI done on the brain that leads them to be weighed and hopefully it scares them enough to wake up and realise that they need to change.  I hope it's not a moment that takes them away from me or their Children and their family.


I think the worst situation a person can be in is when they used to care about losing weight, they used to have the drive to want to change, they used to try different diets every few months or make a commitment to themselves to ‘start on Monday’ only to fall over on Wednesday lose that will to try. They stop showing emotion about it. They stop crying about how big they are. How they feel about themselves when they look in the mirror. How they no longer bring it up with anyone. I think that’s when they need the most help. And that’s the position I was in before I decided to change. Let me emphasise the ‘I’. I decided to change even though others around me had decided that it was time for me to change, I finally made the decision to do something about it.


I hope this has helped somewhat. I hope this has answered your question. And I hope your friend gets help. It’s good that they have someone like you in their life who wants to help them. They will thank you one day :) – I am sure of it.

Happy 100th blog, folks! xo

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter :)

Happy Easter :) I hope everyone had a fantastic day.



Although I didn’t eat much in the way of Chocolate (a few went down here and there), I’ve had a LOT of food over the last 24 hours!


It was Cath’s 30th last night and she is such a good cook. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CATH! She’d made these spinach muffins, chicken with blue cheese dipping sauce, cucumber sandwiches, little tomato pastry things, little custard filled pastries, dips with julienned veggies, arancini balls and cupcakes :) I had a cupcake, about 6 little cucumber sandwiches (dipped in the dipping sauce), a glass of wine, half a stubby, lots of water and a few vodka and jelly shots. I haven’t eaten that much in months! Although it doesn’t sound like a lot, for me, it was. And even though I was full at the end of each ‘nibble’, I waited until I felt as though I could eat some more before I did. It’s the first time in ages that I have just grazed. I did not really behave as best as I could.


Today, I only had a few eggs. I am sure that I may have a few more but not many. We went out for dinner with Judy and Glenn (Brad’s Mum and step Dad). I had a seniors fish and chips – I managed to eat the fish and the leafy bits of broccoli along with a tablespoon of mashed potato. Oh, and a piece of garlic bread (not a big one at all). I have added a picture of my meal as I know a lot of people are interested to see how much I can eat…

Before

After

We went and picked strawberries and apples at a local farm today. It was nice to take the kids out in the fresh air. Only a few of the strawberries were even worth picking although Charlotte felt that anything with the slightest pink tinge on it should be picked. I’m going to make Apple Pie with them tomorrow. Brad took a photo of me holding hands with Charlotte today and when I look at the photo, I get quite annoyed. I don’t feel like I look like that from behind. But, obviously I do. I must drag out the photo that I took from behind the day before surgery and compare it. I am sure there would be a huge difference.


I love my Daughter xo

Tonight for dinner, I had a salmon salad with a few cut up pieces of bocchini cheese. I can’t believe the amount that I have eaten. I am going to have a few glasses of wine tonight. Back to normal tomorrow! Although I haven’t eaten a lot of bad stuff, I have eaten a fair bit of food. More than what I normally do.

 
I put some of it down to emotional eating. I am currently nibbling on bits of tortellini. I need to get into the habit of learning how to get my emotions out in a different way. I touched on this a week or so ago. It’s a really scary thing to not know how to deal with things when you can’t turn to what you know best. As I said, emotional eating is not the only reason why I am the size that I am. It is defiantly a contributing factor. Something I plan on tackling head on.

I have registered to do another relay for life. This one is going to be held in October or November – they haven’t settled on the date yet. I am really looking forward to it. I am still participating in the Melton one next year. Not sure what month that will be in either.

I really need to get my butt into gear for training for this stair climb! I shall bring my runners to work on Wednesday and have a little practice. I have my PT session on Thursday which I am looking forward to. Work of some of this food!

I am sure that some of you have seen a link to one of my friend’s blogs titled ‘Tracey’s last chance’. 31.9kg she has lost since she had her surgery. I am SO proud of her. She had gastric sleeve a week before I had my lap banding. We have never met although we have known each other for almost 6 years. She is an amazing lady. She has entered herself into a local radio station who are holding a competition titled ‘B105 Yummy Mummy’. She is an inspiration. If you get the chance, if you could vote for her, that would be great -

http://www.b105.com.au/shows/labratcamillaandstav/galleries/yummy-mummy-2011/1-100?selectedImage=56

she is looking AMAZING. You can vote for her up to 5 times a day. She is entrant number 57.  She has photos on her blog. Go and have a look at how much she’s changed – it’s unbelievable. The link for her blog is http://traceyslastchance.blogspot.com/

I am also proud of a number of my other friends over the past few weeks. Cath looked wonderful at her birthday last night – it was nice to see that she didn’t untag herself in as many photos on Facebook as what she did a few months ago at her house warming! Her Mother, Linda is looking fantastic! Trish is doing so well – very dedicated with her lack of easter egg consumption and her commitment to the gym. Carly has done wonderfully well minimising her Coke consumption.

My friend Bec in Sydney is doing well. She has a young Baby and is working and still finds the time to dedicate to working out and eating right. I am SO PROUD of her – another one of my friends who I am yet to meet! We’re coming up to almost 6 years as well!


I have another few friends that I want to mention but I’ll get their permission before using their names first! I got an Email from one of them the other day (a girl who I used to go to School with) and she has done SO WELL. She should be proud of herself. I got it on Facebook and as I haven’t been on Facebook much in the past week, I haven’t had the chance to reply to it as yet but I shall do so tonight.

Keep it up, guys. You are all amazing xo

I have a few topics to address in my blogs this week – I am going to my first concert in over 15 years on Friday night! It’s KATY PERRY! I am a bit nervous but shall touch on that later. I have my weigh in and possible fill on Thursday and I am going to get Brad to film a close up of my fill to go with my other video because some people couldn’t really see what was going on – I will have to get Dr Winnett’s okay first but I am sure that will be okay. It’s going to be a good week :)

RIP George xo

Friday, April 22, 2011

Eggs, Buns and broken beds at RCH!

Easter is dawning upon us! I can’t believe that it’s here again already!



I went to the shops last night to do my Easter Egg shopping. I don’t get a lot for the kids (am trying to promote good health) but I got them a few. I resisted getting the Crunchie one that was looking at me! I remember a few years ago, they used to have a Kit Kat one. I bought maybe 6 or 7 and ate them all within a few days. They were about the height of a desert spoon. I can’t remember how many grams they were but it’s amazing how things have changed this year. I am pleased with my changes. I will allow myself to have a few if I want but, not too many.


I am going to make hot cross buns with the kids today. Another thing I am going to resist! I wish I could have one but I think that it would get stuck in my band as they’re very doughy. I shall not even risk it.


I had a wonderful time yesterday afternoon with one of my friends who I’ve known online for about at least 4 years. Until yesterday, we had never met. She is having gastric sleeve in a few weeks. I am so pleased for her. She has got a fantastic attitude toward the whole thing. I can’t wait to see her results. She’s doing it for all the right reasons and I know she’s going to do well. It will be amazing to see her shrink :) we spoke a lot about food and portion sizes. She’s doing Optifast at the moment and she is going SO well. She is so dedicated. I got Trace to add her on FB so that they can talk all things sleeve as I have no idea about some of the things like what you can have and what you can’t have or even things like what you need to take to Hospital with you. There is a really good sleeve forum – if you’re interested in reading a bit more about sleeves and speaking to those who know, go to http://www.gastricsleevesupport.com/


It’s good Friday today – it means a lot of things to a lot of people including the Children at the Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne. I made a donation to them today. David went in there a year and a half ago (or thereabouts) as he was very dehydrated as he had not been well. We had to stay the night. They looked after him SO well. Poor little Monkey. I ended up sleeping on one of their beds next to his Cot (ended up having to bring him to the bed with me) but, when I got up to put him back in his Cot, I broke the bed! Even though we have Private Health Insurance and I signed the form to say that I give permission for my fund to pay for our visit as a Private Patient, I still feel bad about breaking their couch so I have donated each year since! It was a weight thing – not a couch thing (although the lovely Nurse tried to convince me otherwise). If you want to make a donation, go to http://www.goodfridayappeal.com.au/


I’ve had a few ‘interesting’ comments on my blog over the past few days. I haven’t deleted them as I don’t feel as though they were rude as such however, they aren’t productive as such. I’ve had some really good feedback about the video of my first fill. I love how I am in a position to help others out and take away some of the fear and apprehension that they may have about the routines of being a bandit.


I didn’t have my PT session yesterday. I am still quite sore on my back so, I was actually in bed sleeping when I should have been at the Gym. Brad rang and cancelled for me. I am looking forward to next Thursday’s session. I might go for a walk today, depending on how I feel (and depending if the rain holds off) otherwise, I’ll be off to the Gym tomorrow.


Hope everyone is having a lovely relaxing day :)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Video of my first fill

I don't know how but, my Son Lachie managed to find the video that he filmed on my iPhone of my first fill.  I have uploaded it to YouTube.  Here's the link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we4BOjK3-ws

No, it's not flattering (nor is it supposed to be!) and if you're a regular reader, you'd know I am about keeping it real - warts and all (no, I don't have warts but I do have a fat tummy!).

The video does contain a little bit of blood at the end of it (not much) but also does show a needle so, if you are a bit squeemish because you don't like blood or needles, I don't suggest you watch.  It's not a close up shot (if this helps make it a bit easier to watch).

Enjoy!

For what it's worth - my take on the 'Battle of the Bulge' story on 60 minutes 17.4.2011

Here are my thoughts (for what they’re worth) on the segment that was shown on ’60 minutes’ on Sunday the 17th April 2011. For those of you who missed it and are interested in watching it, follow this link… http://sixtyminutes.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=8237466



Like a lot of fellow bandits, I was really excited to watch this segment as I was hoping that it would have a positive spin on lap banding and how it benefits those who have the procedure done. I thought it would give an insight into the life of a bandit. The ins and outs of what you have to go through before Surgery, the aftercare, the dedication, commitment, hard work and sheer discipline that goes into making what to according to dietician, Louise Adams thinks is ‘just a piece of plastic’ work.


The segment started with Chantel’s ‘last supper’. Yes, most Bandits that I know have had a last supper but this has been before enduring 2 (or in most cases more) of Optifast. This is why we enjoy our last meal – because we know that we are going to have to stay dedicated and strong to get through the weeks to come. My last meal was a Steak. From memory, I couldn’t even eat the whole lot. I felt as though the segment neglected to advise of her pre surgery requirements. The appointment with a dietician, the psychologist (which most people tend to see), the dietician, the sleep specialist (if required), the chest X Ray, the blood tests – it makes it out to be that she had her Pizza and spaghetti feast and woke up the next day to go in and have Surgery.


I am not sure why lap banding is so controversial. It has been a procedure that has been developed from non adjustable bands from the late 1970s and in the early 1980s, research began on the first adjustable band. Doctor O’Brien (who I admire very much) agreed with Ray’s statement that it is a controversial procedure and says “I think obesity surgery, has always been controversial. There is something about operating to help people lose weight which somehow feels wrong I think to people. It's not perfect. But it's better than any option we have!”. I don’t see it as being any more controversial than someone who has big ears getting them pinned back for the fact that they aren’t comfortable with how they look or someone getting their nose straightened so that they can breathe better. This procedure is used to increase the individuals health and quality of life as are many other surgeries that aren’t, for whatever reason, viewed as being as controversial.


In the transcript, they use the words controversial and common in the same paragraph pretty much. I agree that it may be seen as some to be ‘extreme’ however, when this was said to me by a total stranger, I advised them that I considered dying at the age of 30 with 4 young Children was extreme. I (as do many) think that having fluctuating weights and putting unnecessary pressure on our hearts and other organs as extreme.


I was concerned at the fact that so many young people consider this as an option. My eldest Son is 12 and he does need to walk a bit more and watch what he eats but that’s my responsibility. I can’t help the fact that sometimes he sneaks food into his room or buys things from the Canteen at lunch time without me knowing but, in the end, it’s up to me to educate him on what’s right and what’s wrong and encourage him to exercise and eat right. And I encourage him by doing it with him and setting an example. I might be slammed for what I’ve said here but, it’s just my opinion. I don’t think someone is at the right age emotionally to make such a huge decision when they’re 13. And I don’t even think they’ve grown into their skin at that age! I do agree that there are exceptions to this.


I do often say to my kids they need to watch what they eat as I don’t want them to go through what I’ve had to go through. Not the surgery – that was simple compared to the 30 years that lead me to have the Surgery. Being bullied EVERY DAY at School, feeling different everywhere I went, not being able to do things that other people can do, being held back because of my weight… it’s been hell. And it’s been hard. And I am happy that I am finally on the way to being healthy.


I was shocked that she left an hour after her Surgery. I was still in outer space an hour after my surgery! It took me ages before I even got up after my Surgery and I only did it because I had to go to the toilet! I had a chest X Ray in the morning, Dr Winnett came around to see how I was going, I didn’t need to have a barium swallow but a lot of people do. My wounds were checked to make sure they weren’t red around the outsides of the dressings or anything like that and I was given anti biotics and pain medication to take home. I wouldn’t recommend lap band as day surgery unless you’re first cab off the rank at 6.30am and you go home late in the evening. You never know how you’re going to feel once the pain killers wear off.


I was also worried about her comment at the end about the pizza. You go girl, eat the pizza if you’d like but, the crust will get stuck and you’ll vomit and that’s why your surgeon recommended that you don’t eat it. It wouldn’t be due to the nutritional value (or lack of) in the pizza that Dr O’Brian is concerned about, it’s the fact that he knows the crust will get stuck. Another thing that you need to do when you have lap band – you need to LISTEN TO YOUR SURGEON. They’re only interested in what’s best for you. And if crust doesn’t get stuck in the band, I am sure that they’d be all for it.


I think that this segment would have been great and informative and even possibly helpful if they had have covered some of the things that I mentioned. I just worry that the audience who watched this may have gotten the wrong impression about lap band and they may not realise how committed you have to be. It is a life long commitment. Not just something you get ‘installed’ and it works itself. I am happy that they showed her exercising but they didn’t show her chewing each morsal of food hundreds of times before swallowing it or the fact that there are some things that simply won’t go through the band.


Either way, if this segment has inspired someone to look into getting lap band, I am pleased as if it’s something they’re eligible for and it’s the right option for them after everything else has failed, it’s good to know that they’re going to take that first step to find a healthier them.


Here are some other links from Doctor Paul O’Brien that I have found helpful in the past…


Part 1 of the ‘8 golden rules’ of lap band http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa3Lwt6ElIs&playnext=1&list=PL81029F56DF22EA4A


Part 2 of the ‘8 golden rules’ of lap band http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4jYJipQ7vc&feature=related


He has also written a very simple and easy to use book on lap banding – it is the bible of lap banding! Careful where you purchase it from because I’ve found it ranging from $10 - $80. The title of the book is called ‘The Lap Band solution’. Here’s the link to the website about the book http://www.thelapbandbook.com/index.html but as I said, it varies in price – Amazon are selling used copies from $2 and I bought mine from my Surgeon for $15.


And here is some extensive information on lap band from Wikipedia which is what I used as a resource when writing this blog…


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adjustable_gastric_band

If the gown fits!

I didn’t get to go swimming last night :( and for a very good reason.



Yesterday, whilst I was at work, I started to get that pain that I’ve had for a month or so but it was on both sides of my back, below my ribs. It was SO sore.


I left work and went to Epworth Private and waited in Emergency for someone to see me. I was bought through and was given some morphine prior to having X Rays and a CT scan. They took the X Ray to check the placement of the band to make sure it hadn’t slipped. The CT scan was something I had booked anyway to exclude small kidney stones.


Long 7 hour story short, they didn’t find anything. No Kidney Stones, no lesions, no damage to my spleen, no pneumonia – nothing to explain the pan that I am getting. The Doctor doesn’t think it is muscular. He has written a letter for me to give to my GP and he’ll order a Gastroscopy. I’ll go and see my Doctor on Thursday.


My band!  The white loop thing...


I experienced a few non scale victories which was great. The Hospital Gown fit me :) this was a huge thing for me. I always ask for 2 so I can wear one like a dressing gown and the other round my back. The Nurse gave me the 2 but I only needed one. I was so excited. I had tears in my eyes. Happy I had my nice stripy undies on :) the other thing was that because everyone knew I had lap band, NO ONE mentioned anything about how I am overweight. It was the first time that I have experienced this and it was really nice. I told anyone who would listen about the amount of weight that I have lost and how well I am doing. No one said ‘you have to stop eating sweets’ or ‘you are very overweight’. Obviously I still have 100 kilos (or there abouts) however, because I had told everyone that I am losing weight, no one said I had to. I think the last thing that made me smile was when they gave me something to eat (the first thing I’d had all day), I could only eat 1 of the 4 points of the sandwich before I was full.


I am seeing Doctor Winnett on Thursday next week. I have a few more days left to make each minute count! I am determined to get under the 185kg. I HOPE I do. If I don’t, I won’t be too disappointed. Whatever I have lost, I have worked my butt off to do so therefore, I’ll be happy with the result.


Watch this space :)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Yup, it's all over Facebook (for now, anyway)

You read it right, today I plan on breaking up with Facebook! Not forever but, for a few weeks at least anyway. I have been finding that I spend a lot of time on it when I could be doing something else. I love it for the fact that I can read what my friends are doing and share in people’s lives but I find that I ‘two time’ the TV at night when the Kids are in bed by being on the Computer and I am mainly on Facebook! So, today, I will tell Facebook that I have broken up with it! I am not going to remove my profile as that takes me off people’s friends list and I don’t want people to think that I have unfriended them!

I know a lot of my readers come from Facebook so, I won't be posting the links to my blog when I update it anymore.  If you just go to http://www.movingforwardlookingforward.blogspot.com/, you'll get here and you'll be able to read what's been going on.  I normally update my blog 3 or 4 times a week.



I was supposed to work overtime today. 2 weeks ago it was cancelled and then it was put back on again but I wasn’t able to do it in the end as I had yesterday off. I think we’re off to the Computer swap meet with Clint and Trish. Brad’s after a new lap top. I think the fact that I got a new one yesterday might be a contributing factor to his desire to purchase a new piece of technology! I hope that there is someone there who can fix my iPhone as the ear piece is broken – I have to use my hands free. It’s very annoying.


Tomorrow is going to be a day of temptation – I am one of the moderators of my local Freecycle group (if you’re not already a member of one – check it out at www.freecycle.org) and every year, we have an Easter Egg hunt for the kids. I also get some hot cross buns as well. I normally get so many that I store them in the deep freezer. It’s going to be a challenge not to eat any tomorrow. I LOVE the choc chip ones. I shall resist. They will be there in a few years when I am skinny. At the moment, I have my eyes on the prize!


I plan on going to the gym at some stage today or at least for a walk. My calves are quite sore from Thursday’s PT session so I need to keep them moving.


I put some photos up on the lap banding forum that I am a member of last night and I’ve had a few really nice replies :) it’s good to see that people can see the difference.


At some stage, I need to post up some of the questions that I have received. Some of them are things that I never thought to ask and wish I had have now! I’ll aim to do that next week.


I hope everyone enjoys their weekend. Not long until the long weekend. I can’t wait. I have Cath’s 30th birthday party on the Saturday night (shall not drink too much), Easter on the Sunday (love seeing David and Charlotte’s faces on Easter morning), Brad has the footy (Pies and Bombers – who cares?) on the Monday and then we have the Tuesday off :) it can’t come quick enough!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The road ahead...

Exercise is a wonderful thing. You either love it or hate it. I hate to say it but, I am starting to love it.



I went Swimming on Wednesday night. I managed to do a Kilometre and it was so relaxing. I did a lot of thinking during my laps. I thought mainly about how much time I have been putting into myself lately. How the good things that I am doing for myself are showing on the outside and how I have had so many ‘no scale victories’ I have had over the past few weeks. I realised that I always had the time to work out and lose my weight, I just didn’t feel as though I am worth it. I know that there are so many people who say that they don’t have the time and I know that can be a factor (as you’d know, I work and have 4 kids so I am very time poor!) but, there was nothing stopping me from hiring a treadmill and parking it in the loungeroom.


When I am at the gym, I often think about things that have to be done at home – the washing, the homework, the cleaning, the mowing. I realise though that the more I work out, the more weight I lose and the more weight I lose the more energy I have so the quicker I clean and do the things that need to be done.


Last night, I was given some bad news about my Nanna. She doesn’t have very long to live as the Cancer has spread. I only saw her on Sunday and she is looking so well. We knew it was coming up but, being told that it’s coming up is different. My immediate thought was to start eating. I grabbed the box of Saladas, the tub of butter and the jar of vegemite. I hadn’t had dinner so, I figured that this could be my meal. I got through 3 and I couldn’t eat anymore. I felt sick.


It was such a strange sensation not being able to do something that I am used to doing. For the first time in months, I felt as thought the way to cure my ache was to eat. I couldn’t go to the gym as Brad was at Bingo. It was scary not having food to turn to. It was hard to work out what else to do. I ended up going to bed.


When I woke up this morning, I still felt like crap. I had my personal training appointment today and didn’t feel in the right frame of mind for it. I was very upset.


I got to the gym 45 minutes before my appointment. I chatted to one of the staff members for a while and then jumped on the tread mill. The walking really helped. It felt good to get some of my excess energy out and direct it somewhere productive. I walked for half an hour before Michael came over and told me it was time!


I told him about the fact that I am going to climb up the stairs of my building. Lucky for me, he already had stairs on the list for my work out for the day! I did SO well. I did 20 flights. He ended up taking the boxing component out of it as I was so puffed out. We just focussed on getting me up and down the stairs. After it, I needed to have my Asthma medication because I was really struggling to breathe. We then did some weights. I showed Michael a before photo of me and he was amazed at the difference. He took a photo of me on the stairs so that I can put it up here. He also said that he is going to try an make it to my stair climb which would be great.


HORRIBLE stairs at the Gym.  Ick.

I am going to start training for that tomorrow. I am going to get into work a bit earlier and I am going to go from floor 2 up to 15. I’ll see how I go with that. I think I am going to have to do that every day I am at work up until the stair climb. I need to take this thing seriusly! I am also going to see if I can get permission from management to get people to sponsor my stair climb. I would donate it all to the Cancer Council.


Although the last 24 hours have been a bit shitful, I have learnt a lot about myself I have learnt a lot about the new me and how I have started dealing with things compared to how I used to deal with things.


It’s going to be a tough few months – there are going to be a lot of hurdles put in my way. I am going to remain focussed and on track and remember why I am doing this and remember what goal I am working toward.

I forgot to mention that I measured myself again today - I have lost cms EVERYWHERE! 

My neck is now 46cm - 2cm down from 2 weeks ago
My upper arm is 43cm - 3cm down from 2 weeks ago
My bust is 157cm - 3cm down from 2 weeks ago
My waist is 182cm - 4cm down from 2 weeks ago
My hips measure in at 185cm - down 1cm from 2 weeks ago
My upper leg is 74cm - down 1cm from 2 weeks ago
My calf is 50cm - down 2cm from 2 week ago

Go me!  I am working my butt off and it's nice to see that it's showing :)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Starting to get into a routine...

I have decided that Monday night is Swimming night for me. It’s a great way to get my week started and ease me in to a busy week of working out.


I swam for the first time in about 15 years on Monday night. I started off with Freestyle. I had forgotten how to breathe when swimming! I ended up drinking o much pool water. The water was going down my nose and running down the back of my throat. It was a revolting feeling and a disgusting taste. I did 4 laps when I felt as though I wanted to give up! I couldn’t seem to get into the rhythm of things. It was very frustrating. I was going to grab a kick board and go back to bascs. I realised that I could work it out if I just continued to be patient and persevered. Swimming is something I really used to enjoy and I couldn’t believe that I couldn’t remember how to swim!


In the end, I worked it out. I did 32 laps which is 800 meters. I really enjoyed it in the end. I found that I didn’t think about anything other than breathing and focusing on getting to the other end of the pool.


I went to work today so I didn’t get the chance to go to the gym and I was too tired to go tonight but, I am going to do aqua aerobics on a Tuesday morning. On Wednesday, I am going to aim to do body pump, on Thursday is when I have my PT session (they also have aqua aerobics on a Thursday night) and on Friday, I am going to rest but on a Saturday (or Sunday), I’ll go in at least once.


I am really enjoying the gym. I feel really good once I have been and I don’t feel like it’s a chore anymore. It’s satisfying.


I am going to do my measurements again this week. I am feeling as though I have lost a fair amount of weight over the past few weeks. I am really looking forward to my appointment with Dr Winnett.


I’m off to bed :) I am SO tired. We’re off to see Dora the Explorer tomorrow!  Not before a session at the gym :)

Friday, April 8, 2011

Going up - 46 floors to be exact :)

So, during my break today, I was sending out thank you Emails to those who donated to relay for life when I realised that I no longer have something to work toward in regard to my fitness. I think weight goals and fitness goals are 2 totally separate things. My weight is something that I am constantly thinking about. Every time I put something in my mouth (be it solids or liquid), I know how many kilojoules are in it and if I don’t, I won’t eat it until I know. Fitness is something I don’t think about as often. I think about it at the strangest of times – when I walk the 10 meters to the printer or go the long way to the girl’s toilets, I wonder how many muscles I am using or how many kilojoules I burnt. I have been thinking about ways that I can incorporate as much physical activity into my day as possible. This is when I started thinking about stairs.



I hate stairs. I hate how they go up. I hate how they take longer than the lift. I hate getting puffed. I hate the fact that it takes so long to get anywhere. And I hate how big my butt feel when I am walking up them. So, when I announced rather loudly that I would climb the stairs in my building as my next challenge, I wondered where the thought came from – it certainly wasn’t from a sane part of my brain, that’s for sure.


I did my research – I asked the management of my building if you’re allowed to walk up the stairs. The Man said that there are people who walk the stairs all the time. As our building is a secure building, I asked which door I’d be able to get out of when I got to the top. I asked if I needed to give notice of my intention to climb. He said no. So, I have set a date – 3.6.2011 is when I will walk up 46 floors. Fark. I am looking forward to it and have already had a few people say that they want to do it with me. We’ll see… :)


I went to the Gym straight after work tonight. I did a 35 minute walk. Managed to squeeze in 2.5km before the Gym closed. I pushed myself to do the last 10 minutes. It hurt. My legs and arms are still sore from yesterday so walking tonight was a real challenge. The ‘foo fighters’ actually got me through tonight. I was listening to their song ‘all my life’ right at the start where it says ‘I've been searching for somethin' , somethin' never comes, never leads to nuthin' , nothin' satisfies, but I'm gettin' close, closer to the prize at the end of the rope’. It made me think that I have been searching for something and every time the something never comes as it always leads to nothing. But not this time. The something will come (and is coming) as I put the work in. It’s hard. And it needs to be if I am going to get anywhere.


On the train this morning, I had to stand up and every time the train moved, I had felt twinges in my limbs and muscle. Muscular aches. But I still walked up the Escalators at Melbourne Central as fast as I could when I got there. My calves were burning at the end of it! I sent Michael (my personal trainer) an SMS to thank him for pushing me yesterday.


Tomorrow, I am going to do some swimming and will probably do that every 2nd day to ease my muscles.


My water intake has been great over the past few days as well. I am so proud of how I am going. And if I am going to make it up those stairs – I’ll have to keep it up!


My building :)


Thursday, April 7, 2011

Some exciting news...

If someone have had said to me a few years ago that you’ll on the 7th of April 2011, you’d feel better about yourself than you ever have, I wouldn’t have believed them. If they had have said to me that you’ll walk 20 flights of stairs in 10 minutes (and do boxing in between), I would have laughed in their face. If they had have said to me that the only thing stopping you from doing anymore exercise would be because you’ll run out of breath but not energy, I would have seriously worried about their mental state. But then again, if someone had said to me that you’ll end up weighing the same weight as a motorbike, a boat or some other forms of transportation, I would most certainly not have believed them.



Today I had my personal training session with Michael. I did things that I never thought I’d be able to do. For starters, I walked to the gym (which is 1.6km away from home), I walked up those bloody stairs over and over and over again (and held onto the rails in boxing gloves too!), I pushed myself further than what I thought I could go (with the help of Michael) and at the end of it, I felt like I was going to vomit so I must have done something good today.


I can’t begin to tell you how good I am feeling about myself at the moment. Sure, I am a bit sore, my pants are falling down and a lot of my tops look like nighties but, I my skin is looking and feeling fantastic, I have so much energy, I have this sense of self worth and pride that I didn’t ever imagine I’d have, I am achieving what I thought was the impossible and I am doing this for no other reason than because I want to earn my life back. I deserve it.


There are some things that are still holding me back. I got my results back from my Ultrasound and the man said that he couldn’t see any stones therefore, I had to have a CT scan. I went to the Doctors (my normal one is not there and neither is the other one I like – only the fataphobic one was) and he said ‘they referred you for a CT scan because you are too overweight to do an Ultrasound’. This was not a question but a statement. And this was not the case. The man who I saw has perfect vision of my kidneys however he said it may be a small stone and Ultrasounds can’t pick that up very well. I told the Doctor that I had lost 50 kilograms since August. The way he reacted was like I’d said 15kg!


I ended up booking the CT scan but also went down there to make sure that I’d fit through the Doughnut. I was almost in tears as I lay there seeing if I’d fit through. I did but my whole body wouldn’t have 6 months ago. The table also has a weight limit of 200kg. I was embarrassed that I had to go and check but I was relieved that I fit through. I was more relieved to know that every day I get closer not to have to worry about these sort of problems. I can’t wait until the day where I can have a scan or a test and not worry about my size or if I’ll fit.


My blood test came back. I am a bit low on Vitamin D. Everything else is fine. I am going to make sure I get some more Sun – I do spend a lot of time inside given the fact that I have an office job and now that day light savings has finished, there’s no outdoor after work walks for me for a while!


I am looking forward to the weekend. I am working overtime on Saturday but that will be topped off with a movie with Amelia! We haven’t caught up for so long and she is due to have her 6th baby soon :) I am going to Melbourne to pick up Callum who is spending the weekend with Mum and Dad. I am going to see my Nanna which will be nice. I’ll have to remember to bring the relay for life photos.


Some exciting news - it’s not officially confirmed but, I AM UNDER THE 190KG MARK! I say it’s not confirmed yet because I know my scales are a bit different from Dr Winnett’s scales. I am 189.7 kilograms according to my scales. That’s a loss of almost 55 kilograms. OMG. That’s insane. I am SO proud of myself. And as I have said before, this is actually happening but I can’t believe it. I will wait until my appointment with Jason on the 28th of April to announce the official weight but I shall make a NO MORE WEIGHING pact until I go and see him. Oh the suspense!


Thank you all again for your support. I got a beautiful Email yesterday from someone who I used to go to School with. They said some lovely things. I have inspired them to focus on their health as they have put on a lot of weight over the past few years. It was humbling to hear how they know if I can do it so can they. And it’s true.


Happy I’m able to help so many people just by sharing my story. And I am happy to feel so supported.  Stay tuned – there’s SO much more to come :)

Monday, April 4, 2011

Just keep swimming

I am very proud of myself tonight.



I have been a bit sore today because of the relay on the weekend. I have been using Vaseline all day to put on my inner thighs and although it’s a bit sore, it seems to have gotten a lot better. I REALLY wanted to go to the Gym to do some walking as I was full of energy. Considering I had a sleep today and slept all day yesterday, you’d imagine that I would be.

I picked Brad up from work and came home and as we drove past the Gym I thought bugger it – I’m going. Instead of walking on the treadmill I thought I’d go swimming.


The last time I went swimming (like proper swimming) was when I was a Teenager. I swam at Croydon Pools for a few weeks in their squad. I was very slow but, swimming is something that I have always enjoyed doing. The last time I tried to swim at a pool was a few years ago when I took the boys away to Ballarat for the weekend. I did breaststroke and after a lap of it, my middle back was SO sore because the weight was making my spine curve. It was not a good ache at all.


I remember when I signed up at the Gym, I was looking forward to using the pool. The only thing stopping me going in it was the fact that I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get out of the pool because of the ladder. When I enquired about this, I was told that I could use the little platform that the kids use to get in and out. Although it looked quite flimsy, this may have been my only lifeline to get out of the water!


When I got there tonight, I pulled into the car park and my swimming hopes faded a little bit as you can see right through to the pool from the car park and there were 2 young guys in there. I have nothing against young guys but seriously – I didn’t like the thought of stripping down in front of the to go into the water. I was wearing Brad’s boxer shorts and a long T Shirt.


I went to Reception and signed in. They had ran out of goggles to sell so, I thought instead of swimming, I shall just walk.


I walked into the pool area and the guys were still in there :/ I went up to the deeper end of the pool and took my pants off and got into the water. It was cold! Without further ado, I started to walk! In all, I did 64 laps. The pool is 25 meters long so all in all I did 1.6km. I had the intention of soothing my sore muscles after the walking on the weekend but it did the exact opposite – it has made them hurt a bit more but this hurt was a good one.  It was horrible feeling my jiggly fat in the water.  It wobbled everywhere!  It was nice to feel so light though.

I met a guy named Jason in the water who I walked with for about 15 minutes until Michael came in to tell us it was time to get out. I told Michael about how I completed the relay on the weekend and how I was still feeling some of the things that we did during Thursday’s session. He was really pleased to see me in the water. He asked me If I’d be okay getting out of the water. Hmmm. Now or never. I grabbed onto the handles to lift myself up. I put one foot on the bottom of the ladder and then the 2nd. At this point, I felt my weight again. I put my foot on the 3rd and then realised that yes, I can get out of the pool. I was so proud of myself! Michael gave me a high 5. As I pointed out to him, a pool water high 5 is much better than the usual sweaty one! He told me that he’s going to get a program together for me for Thursday. That made me worry!


After I had finished talking to Michael, Jason got out of the water and I asked him if there was a good technique when walking in water. He walks backwards every 2nd lap as it’s a lot easier. In that case, I need to continue to walk forward!


I admire my friend Trish for all the walking in the water that she has done over the past few weeks. It is hard work! I didn’t realise it was as tough as what it was. I had a go at running in there as well. That felt really good. I can’t remember the last time I ran.


I am going to have a go of water aerobics this Thursday night – I shall add that to my list :) I intend on doing a few classes in the coming weeks.


I am so proud of my determination and effort. I am doing really well. I have decided that I am going to be less than 185kg when I go and see Dr Winnett in a few weeks. There’s nothing stopping me if I want it to happen. It’s up to me :)


I also went to get my kidney Ultrasound today. I need to have CT scan as they couldn’t see any big stones so they said that there may be some small stones that can’t be picked up but the ultrasound. I went and had my blood test done as well. I’ll make a Doctors appointment for Thursday to get all of the results. I’ve had the pain a few times – the worst instance was at work on Friday last week It HURT. I have been keeping up my fluids as apparently that helps.
 
I'm off to bed :)
 
xo

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Relay for life 2011

 I sit here typing my blog with a sense of pride and achievement – I conquered Relay for Life 2011.



Yesterday morning, I woke up hoping that my ankle wasn’t sore – something worked as it didn’t hurt at all. I had spent a lot of time the night before rubbing it and rubbing Voltaran into it.


I went down to the Supermarket and bought heaps of stuff in preparation for the relay. Drinks, dips, chips, fruit – a whole array of foods for everyone to eat.


Brad went down to the track to help Michelle set up our Tent whist I got the rest of the stuff ready. When we got down there, we registered and then set up camp. The opening ceremony began with the Survivors and Carers walking. And then the relay began! We did the first lap as a team and the Callum started the team off. He walked half way around the track (it was a total of 1.04km around it) and then ran through the middle as he’d had enough. From memory, Da was next (my Sister – real name Sarah!) went around and did 3 laps. We had decided that we’d walk for an hour each but we ended up deciding that we’d do 3 laps each or whatever we could manage. After Da, I went out. I took Charlotte with me in the pram. It was good to have her there to talk to as I walked around. It wasn’t too hot or too cold. There was a breeze and it was sunny. It was quite pleasant.


The next lap, I took David in the pram. The only way I could get David interested in walking around with me was to tell him that there was Horse poo on the track! Every few meters, he’d point out the poo! I put the babies in a relay for life top given the fact that it didn’t fit me (this will change next year!). On my last lap, Michelle came with me. It was good to have someone else to walk with as well. Michelle bought her gorgeous daughter, Marley along. She is 4 and adorable! She had so much energy! It was great to finally meet them both.


And that’s how the rest of the night went. The Candlelight ceremony was at 8.30. People had the chance to buy a bag and write a message on it for their loved ones. I bought one for my Nanna, one for Brad’s Dad, one for my Aunty Nan and one that I didn’t write any names on. It was to represent the other members of my family who have lost their lives to cancer or are continuing to fight it. I didn’t realise how many there were until I spoke to my Mum earlier on today.


Everyone other than Lachie and I managed to get a few minutes of shut eye. I did try and have a lay down but couldn’t get comfortable. I ended up coming home at about 1.30am to have a shower and get some warmer clothes.


I managed to do 12 laps which is 12 kilometres. I couldn’t do anymore – not because of my weight, my ankles, my lack of desire or anything like that – it ended up because I suffered from really bad chafing. Something I haven’t had in years and years. I did put cream on and managed to get 2 laps out and that was it. Those 2 laps were the hardest laps of the night. I was SO sore. I actually ended up bleeding because of what I had done. It HURT. I am proud that I managed to get through the 2 laps that I did. I thought of Nanna as I did it and that’s what kept me going but, it was a long walk.


I ended up doing a run to Maccers to get real Coffee and hot chocolates. I couldn’t do a lot more. Callum had a sleep in the car after we went to Maccers. Lachie stayed up with his Mum like a trooper :)


In the morning, everyone went off to have their breakfast (I had half a shake). I went to get Brad and the babies so that Brad could help take the tent down but that was already done by the time we got there.


Callum did a lap with Charlotte in the pram and then they had the closing ceremony. We ended up raising $1,923.95 as a team and I was so proud of everyone. Thank you to Da, Michelle, Cheryl, Cassie, Caitie, Lachie, Callum and Marlie.


I will definatly do the relay again next year. There will be a few differences next year – I’ll fit into the relay for life top, I’ll be able to do a lot more laps than what I did this year and I’ll be able to find pair of bike pants that fit to put under my pants to walk in. Oh, and I’ll fit into so I can keep warmer!


I am proud of what I achieved. I did the unthinkable. And I continue to amaze myself in the things that I am able to do that I never thought I would.