Monday, May 30, 2011

Hot Chocolate and Nachos :/

One of my favourite places to dine before my decision to change my life back in August last year was any type of ‘all you can eat’ place. There is nothing better than a good Smorgersboard. The place where mixing roast meats with calamari rings, fried rice and perhaps a piece of garlic bread is acceptable as is eating your desert prior to having your main. I can’t remember many times when I have been to an all you can eat without stuffing myself silly. Some of my faviourites in the past have been Smorgys, Pizza Hut, The Manhatten Hotel in Mitcham (Victoria, guys!), Melba (a bit posh in Melbourne – that place was AWESOME), The Roxy (hmmm, those prawns were to die for) and Watergardens Hotel. I have been to 4 all you can eats since August last year, all of which I have conquered not only because I didn’t overeat, it’s because I didn’t eat at all and due to that, I didn’t pay due to the fact that I wasn’t eating!

We went to the Watergardens Hotel last night for Callum’s 10th birthday. I actually don’t mind the fact that I can’t eat anything there. It means that there is always an available adult to take the twins to the toilet or to go and replenish hungry Children’s plates. It means that there is always someone to have a conversation with as they don’t have a mouth full of food. It also helps me realise that I am not actually hungry – I only eat because I need to fuel my body.

Today I spent the day in the city with Callum. Things I wouldn’t have been able to do before, I am now able to do. I didn’t realise how much effort it took to do things. To walk all the way down the Platform at the train station required a lot of effort and energy 8 months ago. At one stage, I even had the phone number for the little van that comes and picks up the disabled people in my phone so that I didn’t have to walk up the platform if it happened that they’d parked all the way at the end. Walking 2 blocks of the city used to kill me. Today, I did it with ease (plus some). One of the places we went to was the old Melbourne Gaol. There were stairs in there to get up the different floors. To be honest, 8 months ago, there would be no way I would have climbed up those stairs. I would have suggested to Callum that he go on his own or we go somewhere else but, today, I climbed up them. Both flights.

On the way back from the Gaol, I took a photo of my work. The building doesn’t look as tall as what it is in the photo. I KNOW that I can accomplish my mission of climbing it. And when I find it hard, I have a lot of reasons to keep going. I’ve already raised $90 so far. If you wish to make a donation (big or small), please head here…

I also have a Facebook event page up and running. You can find that here…!/event.php?eid=205688702802531

Speaking of causes (and inspirations), I have recently met a lovely girl who is raising money for genetic cancer research.  There is an event being held in Collingwood at the Bendigo Hotel this Thursday night.  It's an open Facebook event.  Here is the link...

Am trying to find out if there is a way to donate some money without attending as I think I'll be at my Mum and Dad's that night but, I'd love to support this great cause any way I can.  I encourage you to do the same :)

I’ve got some episodes of ‘Big – extreme make over’ on TiVo which I plan on watching tonight. I need something to inspire me. I am not able to go to the gym to have a swim tonight because of my burns on my stomach. I have my PT session tomorrow so, I’ll make sure that I get there a bit early so I can do some stuff before ‘death by PT’. I REALLY want to have a run tomorrow. Even if it’s just for a minute or so, I’d like to see how I go. I did about 10 jogging steps last night when running across the road. I’d like to see how I go doing the real thing. I am not going to message this to Michael tonight just in case I no longer feel like this tomorrow! I have to put in some hard work tomorrow…

My eating has been going really well over the past few days. I did have a hot chocolate today with Callum (something I REALLY didn’t need to have) but, in saying that, I have resisted so many things today as well. The hot chocolate was SO GOOD. I am happy I only have them once in a while (can’t remember the last time I had one). They are so nice when you don’t have them all the time! I had some nachos for lunch today. I ate more of the healthy things than the unhealthy things. The lettuce, the avocado, the tomato and the tabouli were the first things to go and then I managed to nibble on a few corn chips with cheese sauce. They are going to be making margaritas there soon. Look out…

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Oh what a night :)

I had a wonderful night last night :) work held their annual trivia night and I thought I’d go along.

I was a member of the team called ‘the Raptures’ and we came forth. It was a great night. I had way too many drinks (Vodka and Orange Juice being my drink of choice). I’m tempted to add up the approximate number of kilojoules I ingested however, I lost count of how many drinks I had toward the end of the night!

Today, I have pulled up quite well. I am going to attempt to go the gym a little later on, if not the gym, I aim to go for a walk in the fresh (but cold) air.

I just got back from the shops and I was trying to work out what to have for lunch. A pie would have gone down so well but, I ended up settling on having a cup of soup when I got home. I did this because over the past week, I have realised how amazing I am feeling.

I’ve mentioned before that my seat belt fits me, my stomach and steering wheel no longer meet when I am driving the car – I may even need to move the car seat forward a notch. Brad noticed how much weight I’d lost today when he literally said the ‘f’ word under his breath. I asked what was wrong and he pointed out the top I am wearing now was one that didn’t fit me before without showing my stomach. Like, REALLY showing my stomach. It now fits really well and covers everything.

I am still fat and have a long way to go but, my tummy is starting to shrink and it is becoming flatter. It is very spongy and I don’t like it’s texture :/ I am going to take my measurements at some stage today to see how I am progressing. I have my next appointment with Dr Winnett on the 9th of June so, I have just over a week and a half to make everything count. I am hoping for a big number but, even if it’s not – just the way I am feeling is enough to be satisfied. I don’t think I need a fill but, I’ll speak to Dr Winnett about it.

I hope everyone has a good weekend :) I’m off to try and get these babies to sleep – I HOPE they have a nap. They haven’t been well so, they haven’t been sleeping properly. It’s been an interesting few sleepless nights!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

'46 floors - one step at a time' - what have I gotten myself into?!?!

In a bid to raise money for research into a cure for Cancer and to enable the Cancer Council to continue to provide support to those who are affected by Cancer, I am going to climb up the 46 floors of my building.

A simple task for some but for me, it’s going to be a huge challenge. I weigh just over 190 kilograms. I have lost almost 50 kilograms since August last year and participated in the Cancer Council’s ‘Relay for Life’ in Melton back in April 2011. After completing that challenge, I was trying to think of a new goal to set myself. I ended up deciding on climbing the stairs in my building.

I am seeing my personal trainer twice a week leading up to the stair climb and am training hard to make sure that I complete it. My personal trainer (Michael from Genesis in Melton) will be doing the climb with me and will be adding weight in back packs to make it a personal challenge for himself.

In the back of my mind will be thoughts of my Nanna who is a Cancer sufferer. She is so brave. And I am so proud of her. Watching her go through the things she has gone through in the past few months have really made me realise how cruel Cancer can be and I want to work to raise funds so that perhaps soon we can live in a Cancer free world. When things get too tough, I’ll think of her and what she has gone through during her battle and these thoughts will keep me going.

PLEASE NOTE - I'm not expecting you to be able to attend to come and witness my moment of madness (unless of course you want to!), what I am asking is that you make a small(or big donation) to the cause that I am doing it for - the Cancer Council of Victoria. Here is the link to the page where you can sponsor me...

Remember, all donations over $2 are tax deductable and if you sponsor me before the 1st of July 2011, you can claim your donationas a deduction in this years tax return! WOOO!

Here is a link to the Facebook event listing - it would be great if you could join and share it around with your friends...

Birthdays, burns and a tiny bit of jogging...

I haven’t done my blog for a few days – so much has happened. I’ve been quite busy! Firstly, happy birthday to my gorgeous Callum for Tuesday – 10! He’s growing up!

I had a personal training session on Tuesday. Given the fact I am no longer able to wear my normal pants to the gym (because they keep falling down), I decided that it was time that I bit the bullet and started wearing leggings. No. I do not look good in leggings but, I have found that they allow me to get the job that I need to get done so much easier than what wearing pants did. I can’t remember the last time I wore leggings out in public so I was a bit self-conscious. I soon forgot about this when Michael came over and turned my treadmill up to a 9% incline and bumped the speed up to 6kph. I was not impressed (to say the least).

He got me to do some squats and some other things and then he pointed me in the direction of the treadmill again. He put it back on the same speed and the same incline. I started the walking and toward the end of it, I got a bit panicky as it felt as though I was going to fall off the back of it as my hands were slipping. He said I had 30 seconds left. I held onto the rails and ended up realising that if I wasn’t going to slip, I would have to jog. So, I did a tiny little jog. Perhaps 6 jogs? After I got off the treadmill, I realised that I was a bit excited that I had jogged! I didn’t particularly want to do it again right that second but I was quite ‘chuffed’, if that’s the word. I finished my session and I was absolutely exhausted at the end of it. I haven’t felt that tired after a PT session for quite some time. I ended up going home and having a Nanna nap to recover!

I really felt what I’d done in my legs yesterday. It’s not an injury pain but a ‘I’m a muscle that you haven’t used in a while’ pain. At work, I noticed that each time I got up, it hurt a little more. By the end of the day, I was so sore! I even found it hard to get into the car when I got to the station.

Last night, I had a bit of an accident. I was cooking my dinner (pan fried salmon) and I the tongs slipped and I dropped it into the pan. The oil splashed up onto my chest, my stomach and my hand. I won’t say the word that I said quite loudly last night when it happened but, believe me when I say it really, really, REALLY hurt. I had to stand under a cold shower for 15 minutes. I put some ice packs on the burns and some cold compresses and eventually got to sleep. The sores are not that bad this morning (they still really hurt) but I’ll go to the Doctors this afternoon to see what they say.

I had another PT session this morning. Today was nowhere near as bad as what Tuesday’s was! It was still hard and I certainly worked up a sweat. I had a lot of stairs to do and I did some upper body work. I feel great.

So, I weighed myself today. I weigh in at 179kg BUT remember, my scales aren’t right! They are roughly 6 kilograms out. So, I guesstimate that I am about 185kg. This would make me pleased as I’ve worked quite hard in the past few weeks on getting the right balance between diet, exercise and fluid intake (no Steph, alcohol and Chocolate do not count!).

I am very proud of my friend, Trish. On Monday, she commenced the Michelle Bridge’s 12 week body transformation and she’s doing really well. She’s lost 6.1 kilograms so far. She’s done so well :) she’s had a few setbacks which has stopped her form being able to keep up the routine at the gym however, she’s persisting and I’m very proud :)

Someone asked me the other day how my friend who has had the gastric sleeve is doing (not Tracey but the lady who had it done a few weeks ago). She’s doing really well. She’s been at the gym and is looking amazing. I am so proud of her. She’s lost a lot of weight – it’s 18 kilograms since the 2nd of April. It would be a bit more than that now because she hasn’t weighed herself for a week or so I don’t think. She recovered very quickly and is feeling great. Well done, honey xo

Friday, May 20, 2011

So what, I'm fat. Get over it - I have.

I’ve touched on this subject before but, I am going to do it again.

Today, I went to the Laundromat. I had so many loads of washing to do – I wanted to get them done all in one hit so, 4 and a half hours later (and some how adding 4 Children into that mix), I got my washing done. I emerged from the front of the Laundromat and some guy called something out from his car. I didn’t quite catch what it was. I am not sure if it was a sound effect or if it was some words but, Brad heard it too. I ignored it for a few seconds until Brad acknowledged that he heard something as well.

I am in such a mood today. There’s a few reasons why. I have had a few moments over the past week or so that has made me question my current level of sanity! I didn’t let it get to me although I did swear a fair bit (without the kids hearing me, of course!). This happened a few weeks ago – I got called a fat slut for no reason. I didn’t even know the guys that called me it. I was called a Whale at the Gym. The time before that, I got picked on when I caught the train because I took up more than one seat. I got called a fat cow as I walked to the Gym to have a personal training session. It’s horrible having to go through it. They are unprovoked attacks. They are not fair. And although I have had to put up with it for years and years and years, it still hurts like hell.

No, they don’t know me. They don’t what sort of person they are. They don’t know how much what they say hurts. They don’t understand that it hurts more when they do it in front of my kids. They don’t get the fact that I have got a lot of other things going on in my life right now that little things like that just make me feel like snapping. I bet they couldn’t give a damn though. For whatever reason, calling me names makes them feel better. It pisses me off. And I do use it to my advantage – I use the anger that is generated by being picked on in a positive way and I work out harder as a result. But I wish I had better ammunition.

I hate it. I really do. It makes me wonder why I leave the house. Why I put myself through it. Am I really that big? Shit, I’m under 200kg now, I am a lot smaller than what I was. How bad was I then? Why didn’t I get picked on as much? I seriously don’t get it.

Anyway, I believe in karma. It will come back to them. One way or another.

Today, I stayed home from work. My finger is SO sore. The webbing feels as though it’s ripping in half. I have added another photo in my photos section so you can go and look if you’re curious. I look like a lepper! I have it covered over at the moment so that it doesn’t rub. I am probably typing at 20 words per minute. It’s very frustrating.

I didn’t go to the gym today because I don’t want to get my hand wet. I am going to give it a few days, using this anti biotic cream before I start back up.

I got a call from Michael and I am seeing him on Tuesday and Thursday next week. I have been eating quite well this week and it seems that my band is allergic to potatoes in a fried form as the chip that I pinched from the babies dinner tonight ended up coming back up – I came home and made myself a delicious piece of pan fried Salmon accompanied by a green salad with some mashed avocado and some cubed low fat Bocconcini. It was delicious. I haven’t had cooked Salmon since I’ve been banded and I was shocked at how well it goes down. It’s on my list of regulars now :)

We’re off to Werribee Zoo tomorrow. I am really looking forward to it. It will be good to get some fresh air and spend some time with the family. I hope that everyone enjoys their weekend :)

Thursday, May 19, 2011

My 8 fingered blog...

Tonight’s blog is bought to you by one and a half hands! No, I don’t have a sponsor, it’s the fact that I have the use of 3 fingers on my left and 5 on my right and it’s awkward to type. I wish I had an exciting story about how I got injured (wish it was something to do with exercise and how hard I punched the bag or something) but, it’s not.

About a month ago, I packed the dishwasher and put the powder in the little door. The little door wouldn’t close (as the powder had gotten stuck in the indent where the door normally sits) so, I got a knife (or spoon – can’t remember now) and scooped the powder out. I did it with my left hand and the powder ended up flicking up into between my index finger and middle finger. It started to fizz (my hand was a bit wet). I washed it right away but, a rash started to come up. The next day, it was very blistery. Ick. The last few days, it has been really itchy and I’ve woken up in the middle of the night in agony. I got some antibiotic cream to put on it and I need to continue to take pain killers and clarentyine. Fun :/ there is a photo of this in my ‘viewer discretion’ section if you’d like to see it. It RRREEEAAALLLYYY hurts! And looks quite yuck. Don’t look if you’re not good with yucky things.

I didn’t end up having my normal session with Michael today. I woke up with a massive head ache and bad asthma. I cancelled it but am going to start seeing him twice a week in the lead up to my stair walk! When I went into the gym tonight, the girls at the desks pointed to a fundraising tin. The tin is to raise money for my stair walk! OMG! I was so excited! I had no idea that it had progressed through the ‘powers that be’ at Genesis and that they are going to help raise awareness!

After my short (but productive) session at the Gym, I phoned Michael and spoke to him about it. He said that there’s going to be something in the next Newsletter about it and he spoke once again about putting some weight in a bag to make it hard for him. Eileen (the receptionist at Genesis) is going to come out and film it (didn’t ask if she’s coming up all the way or just some) and the funds are going to go to the Cancer Council. Like I said to Michael, there’s no backing out now – it’s really going to happen! I just have to work out a date and work toward it.

I will be able to achieve it. I know I will. It will be very bloody hard but I know that I’ll get there. I haven’t yet gone up the stairs at work again since the other day (I keep forgetting my Ventolin and sneakers!). I shall pack my bag by the door tonight so I don’t forget them tomorrow. I aim to get to the 15th floor and I’ll keep you up to date with how I go.

If you do wish to donate sponsor me on my stair climb, watch this space and I’ll let you know how. I am going to contact the Cancer Council tomorrow to let them know what I am doing otherwise, I may end up just using my relay for life page to get the funds to them. Even though it’s a different event, it still goes to the same place.

I just realised that I am a tad nervous!

I did some planking on Monday night. I planked on my Cat, my iPhone but, the best shot was of me planking on a ball point pen…

Not a flattering photo but I find planking more amusing when it’s done by a fat chic rather than someone of normal size!

Here’s a worse photo than that though – it’s of my swollen feet. Excuse the dirty thong mark (most of it’s a tan mark!). They have gotten so much better over the past 6 months or so. I am nearly at the point where I can wear shoes (well, I’d like to think so!).  My left foot looks so much worse than my right foot.  It is a mixture of Lymphodema and being overweight.  Lymphodema runs in my family and is known to be hereditary.  My foot is no where near as painful as what it used to be but it gets hot, is hard to touch and is very sore.

I wanted to mention one of my friends tonight. Her name is Bec. I met her some years ago on the same forum that I met Brad and Brisbane’s yummiest Mummy, Tracey. Bec has had a struggle with her weight since I’ve known her. She’s tried many different things. Some of them have worked, some of them haven’t but I am so proud of her – she has been doing so well over the past few months. I can’t remember how much she has lost (weight wise and cms wise – the Email is at work) but she has done such an amazing job. She has been seeing her personal trainer 3 times a week but has been struggling a bit as her personal trainer is away but I am SO PROUD of her and know she can do it – with or without her PT. I am amazed at her strength and determination. She’s a busy girl – she has a gorgeous little man named Sam and also works part time so, time is not on her side when it comes to losing he weight but she is doing an amazing job. Well done, honey xoxo

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Another NSV!

I think that I am starting to become a Lady. I have noticed that over the past few weeks that I have been a lot more interested in thing like handbags and clothes – I think possibly because they actually fit me and I am feeling a lot more feminine now that I have a bit more choice of what I can buy. Although I haven’t shrunk a lot, I am able to fit into clothes that would have been way too small for me to even consider buying a few months ago. It’s a fantastic feeling. I am just waiting for my feet to get a bit smaller so that I am able to fit into shoes. At the moment, because of the swelling, I am not able to fit into anything other than thongs although the thongs that I am wearing although when saying that, they are becoming a little bit loose as the swelling goes down!

Today I had a non scale victory. My Father bought a Morris Minor 1000 (a 1962 model) about 3 years ago. When he first bought it, he gutted it and it didn’t have seats in it for a while. When he eventually put seats in it, I wouldn’t dare sit in it as there would have been NO WAY I would have ever considered sitting in the car as I know that I would not have fit In it. Today, Dad asked me if I wanted to try and get into the Morris and I couldn’t believe it but, I fit! We went for a drive to Nanna and Poppa’s house. I did end up sitting in an angle as it was a bit squishy but it was such a fantastic feeling to be able to get into the Car. I’ll have to try and see if I can get into Mum’s car as well as I wasn’t able to get into it a not so long ago.

I have still been struggling with my eating although I have been paying attention to it over the past few days, ensuring that I am not eating things that I really shouldn’t be. I did have a few drinks on Saturday night. I am sometimes eating when I am not hungry and the more attention I pay to it, the better I am doing in trying to combat it. It’s hard work though. I once again compare it to smoking – when you are a smoker and you are stressed, you smoke a lot more. When you are an emotional eater and you are stressed, you eat a lot more! I have been very good today though. I had a shake for breakfast, a ¼ of a wrap for lunch (which was soggy because it had salads in it – YUCK) and for dinner, I am having some vegetables and am going to ATTEMPT to have some roast pork.

That’s it for tonight :) thank you to everyone who has been messaging me worrying about me as I haven’t written for a few days. I am okay – I have just been really busy!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Another productive PT session

I don’t know what’s wrong with me at the moment. I have NO energy.

I have been eating as normal (90% of the time), I have my multi vitamin, I am exercising and I am getting a fair amount of sleep per night. I am not sure what is wrong with me.

I spoke to Michael about this today (hoping he’d go a bit easier on me considering I was so tired) and he suggested perhaps I am pregnant. I was quick to inform him that I have got 4 Children and 4 Children is plenty for me. I am going to really focus on what I am eating to make sure that I am getting enough nutrients and food to match the amount of exercise I am doing. The input does need to match the output. When you have a band, it can be hard to consume all you need to in the way of essentials so, it does take a bit of practice. Something I am far off mastering!

My PT session was fantastic. No stairs today! He got me to do some weights (gees, not even sure what they’re called – it’s lifting a weight over your head – should have asked him how heavy they were cos it was sore!). I had to push him along the floor and do some boxing. He got me to do 7km of the bike after our session. I did a warm up before hand and it was 5.1kph on an 8% incline. He then put it up to 10%! It’s great that I am able to do things like this now.

Naughty corner time now. I said that I have been ‘eating as normal’ and then added ‘90% of the time’. Well, the other 10% has been filled with Chocolate (on Wednesday), a serve of butter Chicken and rice (which I grazed at the whole day), some more Chocolate (at home) and a piece of Salami. Other than that, I have been great. I have blended my Soup for work tomorrow (it’s home made slow cooked Chicken and Vegetable) and I will have a drinking yoghurt for breakfast or a shake. For dinner tomorrow night, I will have some really soft vegetables whilst the others have orange ham with mashed potato and veggies. That might be why I have been feeling a bit off colour over the past few days. I eat because I am bored.

I have actually bought my friend from work a little present that might deter us from our boredom eating. It’s becoming a big problem for both of us! Hopefully they arrive before we require more food to relieve our boredom.

Who likes free things? I do! I am a sucker for free stuff and there was a promotion on Ebay the other day through Vista Print for some free business cards. I took up the offer as I wanted to put my blog address and Email address on them. When I write, my Ls look like Cs so, often mail is addressed here for Stephanie Cowdell. Lol. It’s the same with my blog address. Because it’s so long, some people can’t read it so, I designed some freebie business cards and they arrived today. I was so excited! They look great. I felt a bit ‘up myself’ for getting them done but, at least now I don’t have to spend ages writing something that is not legible! It took me some time to think of what to write on them but, I have put written ‘be part of my journey’. Underneath that, I have written ‘anything is possible’ and then my name, my email address and my blog.  I have found a picture of it :)

Hope everyone is having a good week and is keeping warm! Winter has arrived for sure!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

One step at a a time

I did plan on having an early night tonight – so much for that happening! I shall write my blog and then go to bed.

I did a lot in the way of exercise yesterday. As mentioned in my last blog, I planned on walking up the stairs at work to start practicing for my stair climb. I didn’t bring my sneakers to work with me (I am SO unorganised) so, I did it in my thongs :) I did 11 floors and did it in just over 7 minutes. I was really puffed and that’s about it. I didn’t have any burning in my legs or anything like that. I was sweaty but that was to be expected. I thought that I’d be hurting in some way but no, I wasn’t at all. I have decided that I need to do the stairs in each break that I have at work to train for the stair climb. I am happy that I did it as I KNOW that I can make it now. I will just have to work toward it.

I went to the Gym last night. I got called a Whale when I got in the pool. It’s the first time that I have been picked on because of my weight at the Gym so, I’ve done pretty well so far! I wasn’t particularly pleased about being called a name however, it made me swim without stopping for 32 laps as I didn’t want to get out whilst they were in the water in fear of being called something else by them. When I got out of the pool, I went and had a shower and got dressed to do a work out on the equipment. When I was filling up my drink bottle, 2 girls walked past and one said to the other ‘there’s so many overweight people at this Gym’. I felt like saying ‘really?’. It’s not a Miss Universe pageant, it’s a Gym! I got on the bike then the treadmill and then I went home.

It’s funny how I still get called names and people still notice me because of my weight but it just doesn’t bother me now. I am SO over it. I couldn’t give a f**k about what they say. I know that I am doing my best to lose my weight. Whatever they need to say is fine by me. I know I am doing the right thing and that’s all that matters.

I made a lovely soup for dinner tonight. I cooked it in the slow cooker. I was planning on bringing some to work for lunch tomorrow but I couldn’t keep what I had down. I think it’s because the veggies are a bit too hard. I am going to blend it and then I can bring it in. It was so yummy and so good for me :)

There’s not a lot else to report in the world of Stephanie tonight. I am going to take my measurements on Thursday. I shall put them up once I am done.

Hope everyone is having a good week :)

Monday, May 9, 2011

After over 3 years...

So last night, I was driving back from Mum and Dad's and I couldn't find my seat belt extender so I thought I'd see if the seat belt fit me without it. You know what? It did. I cried :)

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Happy Mother's day :)

What an exciting few days :)

Firstly, I’d like to reintroduce you to Tracey, Brisbane’s yummiest Mummy :) Trace was informed that she had won the title on Friday night. I am SO proud of her. If you haven’t yet read her blog, go across and have a read at what she’s been through

I met Tracey on a weight loss forum almost 6 years ago. We have never physically met (that’s coming up soon, I hope!) but, we have been through thick and thin (no pun intended) and both had surgery around about the same time. She had her gastric sleeve surgery 6 months ago and has lost over 30 kilograms. This is not something she would have even thought about doing this time last year. If you had have said to her that she would enter something like this let alone win something like this, she would have said you were insane! I am SO proud of her. Thank you all who voted for her.

Congratulations, Trace – Brisbane’s yummiest Mummy :) xo

Today has been a bit of a tough day for me. I am not sure why but I have been in a mood. At lunch time, I just felt like eating and couldn’t do so. It was a horrible experience. It is something that I have experienced before but it’s still something that I find terribly irritating. I almost felt like crying. I sometimes feel as though I have punished myself by getting the band. I feel annoyed at it sometimes. Not at it. Just the situation. I need to look at it this way though – I have had my fair share of fish and chips and KFC and any other food you can think of in my time and it’s crunch time now. I still need to find different ways of dealing with my feelings when I feel like eating. I am going to write some things down over the next few days so I have a list of things that I can do when I feel that annoyed.

Tonight was take away night in our house. Everyone had fish and chips. I ordered a Chicken Souvlaki with garlic sauce and ended up just eating the salad part of it. I realised that in the end, it was just the garlic sauce taste that I craved – not the rest of it. I wouldn’t be able to eat chips even if I tried so it was good that I need to steer clear of them give the fact they don’t go down anyway. I was quite satisfied at the end of it. I felt as though I’d had take away but I didn’t really (if that makes sense). I am having a vodka and orange before I go to bed to celebrate the fact that I have almost finished cleaning my room! FINALLY! I also did have a tiny piece of Chocolate cake tonight (well, probably a tablespoon full). I am back on track tomorrow – not that I really went off it but it was naughty to have the cake and the vodka.

Tomorrow is Mother’s day :) happy Mother’s day to all the Mum’s out there! I love Mother’s day. I have 4 beautiful Children who mean the world to me. I am sometimes tempted to list them on Ebay but, all in all, I am so proud of them and love them all so much. I can’t believe my baby is 12! I held his hand yesterday in the Car when we went to the Furniture store and as I was holding it, all I could think of was when he was a newborn and he used to hold my thumb. He was so tiny. Cal was tiny as well. He was such a gorgeous baby. He had such soft hair. He didn’t open his eyes much in the first few days but when he did, I was amazed at how beautiful they were. My babies (well, my 3 year old babies) are so special. They are delights. I am blessed to have twins. They are such hard work but I love watching them grow every day. They make me smile.

From front to back - David, Charlotte Callum and Lachlan

Not only does Mother’s day come with bragging rights about how gorgeous your Children are, the possibility of a sleep in, presents (if you’ve behaved yourself), Children to wait on you (when they feel like it) and the right to shout out ‘it’s Mother’s day – you need to behave’, it also comes with a huge breakfast. Cereal, bacon, eggs, fried tomatoes, mushrooms, hash browns, baked beans, French toast, juice, coffee, a plate of fruit – nope. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow, I have asked for a banana smoothie and a cup of Coffee. Given the fact that bananas are around $4 each at the moment, I feel pretty special to be having one. I will also celebrate Mother’s day by having a walk with my Kids or playing footy at the park or something like that. It’s going to be a change for me. Something I didn’t think about a lot until this morning. Tomorrow will be my 13th Mother’s day and my first where I won’t be indulging like I used to. I trust they’ve bought me heaps of presents to make up for it!  I already know that I am getting a book case as since I had my lap band, my book fettish has really kicked in and I have ran out of room to put them. 

I am back to work on Monday. I AM bringing in my Sneakers and I will be doing a practice walk during my lunch break. I am going to see how far up I can get. I am thinking I’ll get to my floor (which is 15). If I feel like I can do more, I’ll have to go back downstairs and I’ll have to walk back up as the building is secure so you can’t get out on any of the floors I you don’t have a pass for them. Last thing I want to do is climb to level 30 and not be able to get out! Eeek! I’ll take some photos of my trip and post them on the Monday. If I survive!

I have posted some new pics as well in my photos section. They are of when I had Lachlan and Callum. I was quite young when I had the boys. I was 18 when I had Lachlan and 21 when I had Callum. I was around 120kg when I had Lachie and I was just under 100kg after Callum was born. I lost so much weight when I was pregnant with Callum as I had gall stones. Not something I recommend to anyone but certainly a good way to lose weight! Especially when you have to have them throughout your whole pregnancy! I need to take a full length photo for this month as well.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

BEST PT session so far :)

EVERY muscle in my body is sore right now. EVERYTHING hurts :(

I just got back from my PT session.

I always forget what time my PT session is so, yesterday I sent Michael an SMS asking him what time our session was. He answered 11.30. As I mentioned in my blog yesterday, I asked him to push me hard today and he did just that.

I am SO sore. I reckon I’ll feel the results of today’s PT session for a few weeks at least. Even to eat my lunch hurts – lifting my arm up and down makes my shoulders ache. Moving my leg to put my foot in a more comfortable position aches. Ouch. I am going to be whinging for the rest of the day!

I can’t even remember some of the things that he got me to do today other than the stairs! He got me to walk up and down the gym carrying 30 kilos, I had to carry a medicine ball above my head (tried resting it on my head but he told me off). He was quite nasty today as if I didn’t punch hard enough, he’d get t me to start all over again. It was the best session I have had so far. Even though it hurts. It’s a great hurt though. Brilliant in fact.

Brad came to the gym with me today. There is a circuit that you can do and he did that whilst I had my PT session. He also did some walking in the Treadmill. It’s good to have him around when I am there although he did cut his walk short so that we could go home as I wanted to have a little rest! He did want to do aqua tonight but there’s a problem with the swimming pool heater. I think he’s off to body balance instead.

I heard from my friend last night, the one who had gastric sleeve. She called me and said she is fine :) it was such a relief to hear from her. I am going to go and see her before she goes home from Hospital.

I’m off to finish my lunch and have my shower. Ouch :(

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

'Big - extreme makeover' - it gets my thumbs up :)

I normally don’t blog this late at night but I wanted to write this whilst it was all fresh in my mind.

I pushed myself to go to the gym tonight. I walked for 30 minutes and rode for 15 minutes.

During my bike ride, I watched the premier of Channel 9’s new show ‘Big – extreme makeover’.

Within the first 5 minutes, I had cried twice. I cried when Mick couldn’t get into the shower, I cried when he had to sit on a funny angle to put his socks on.

Later on, I cried when he was weighed. I cried when he lost a lot of weight after 4 weeks of really hard work and I cried when he put a lot of it back on. I was an emotional wreck.

I was so inspired by the show. I saw a lot of myself in it. At first, when the preview started, there is a girl named Bonnie (who they briefly introduced) and she was wearing a bra and undies. I cringed a bit because that’s kind of what I look like naked and it worried me that the people who were at the gym would then know that and I felt a bit yuck.

I think back to 8 months ago when I weighed 243 kilograms and I am happy that I am watching this show now rather than when I was that weight and didn’t know it. I am happy I was at the gym rather than sitting here on the couch eating pizza which I’d often order at 10.30pm at night (prior to August, anyway). I am happy that I am doing something about my weight and that I own the problem. I am relieved that I am in such a positive frame of mind and am doing so well in my journey and my commitment to ME.

I just hope I am not in tears every time it’s on. It’s so confronting. But in a good way.  It also makes me happy that I can't eat half of the food that he was able to.  And I am pleased that I have never had Yum Cha!  I have heard I am missing out!  I guess I'll never know!

I recommended it to anyone who wants to feel inspired by someone else’s journey.  It was fantastic.

I went to AQUA! Yay!

It’s 7.38pm and I have not yet been to the gym today. I might still go – I am just seeing if I feel like it or not. If I don’t go, I am going to have to make up for it tomorrow by working out twice as hard although I do feel that I have done some exercise today as I have done a lot of cleaning. That has to be counted as something!

I have got my personal training session tomorrow. I have asked Michael to push me really hard tomorrow. I said to him in an SMS that I am capable of more than I think I am. I say this because although I have been trying really hard at the Gym, I know the times that I have pushed myself haven’t been as many as what I could have. It’s hard to admit that although I am working my butt off, I can work it harder.

I went to my first Aqua class yesterday. My Husband (Brad) has joined up at the Gym :) and he convinced me to go. I was really pleased to have someone with me for my first class and it was so much fun! It is really hard work! There were only 6 of us in the class and I didn’t feel shy or intimidated about getting the water with people watching me. I am SO over what other’s think of me. It’s great to be able to feel that way as it’s something that really used to hold me back. The only part I didn’t like about the class was how I jiggle so much! Every part of me jiggles!

I have really been assessing which parts of my body I don’t like at the moment. It used to be everything! But now as I have lost some weight, some parts of me have changed – some for the better and some that could use a bit of ‘improvement’. I HATE my ‘lower stomach’. This is the bit below my belly button. It is shrinking and I know that I am going to need Surgery on it however, I really don’t like it at all. The other bit that I really don’t like at the moment is the skin under my arms. My arms have always been quite big but, they haven’t been squishy and flabby like they are now. I am really conscious of them at the moment. I am going to have to do some work to tone them up although I am almost certain that I am going to have to have surgery on them as well once I have lost my weight. Everything else is feeling great – I can feel my muscles in my calves, my ankles are less swollen (but are still huge – I’ll post a photo of these when they’re at their peak!) and I am feeling a lot more energetic. I guess I have to take the good with the bad. I am sure it will just take a bit longer for some parts to catch up.

I met Amelia and Damien’s Son yesterday. He is SO gorgeous. I love babies :) I can’t believe how fast they grow. I look at my babies and am shocked at how fast they have grown – gosh, my tiny baby is 12!  Where does the time go?  I had tears in my eyes yesterday when I met him.  I did leave my 'cluckiness' at the door (as instructed by Brad). He is perfect and I am sure you agree, is splendid…

Eli Jacob and I - 3.5.2011

My friend had her gastric sleeve procedure done today. I haven’t yet heard how she went. I am going to send her an SMS later. I know what I was like after Surgery – I was totally off my head! I imagine she is exactly the same. Probably can’t work out how to use her phone let alone find it! Thinking of you, sweetheart xo

Trace has made it to the finals of the ‘yummy Mummy’ competition that she entered :) I am SO proud of her. She is an amazing Lady and such an inspiration. If you get the chance to vote for her, she’d really appreciate it – she’s lost over 30kg and looks FANTASTIC. The link is

and Tracey is number 11. I shall keep you updated on how she goes :)

I hope everyone is enjoying their week so far. If I make it through my PT tomorrow, I shall speak to you soon :)

I'm off to the gym... reaching my goal requires dedication and commitment - not me slacking off using the fact that I have cleaned the loungeroom up as an excuse to not go claiming that this would equate to a work out at the gym! 

Monday, May 2, 2011

A few 'woohoo' moments today :)

“I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never going to keep me down”.

These were the lyrics that were blaring through the headphones of my iPod as I was walking 5.3km per hour. Tonight I BLITZED my workout. I was so proud.  I ignored the whisky drink and vodka drink parts - I SO could have done with one of them at that point in time!

I’ve had a lot of ‘woohoo’ victories over the past few months. I had a few of them today. A few of them that actually make me feel like crying.

I have a pair of black pants that I live in. For those of you who know me, you’d know the pants that I am talking about. Rest assured that I wash them every night however, I have worn the same pair of pants for over a year now. When I first got them, they were quite tight and uncomfortable. They are a slinky sort of shiny fabric. They are a generous size 36 – 38. They are so stretchy. When I first got them, they sat around my belly button area. As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, I now have to pull them up just under my bra.

I couldn’t find these pants today (I have no idea where I put them) so, I had to wear some others. I knew where some were but, I wasn’t sure if they would fit me as a year and a half ago, I couldn’t even get them over my hips. Because I’d spent $80 on them, I sent them to someone else who said they thought might fit them however, they sent them back to me saying that they were way too big so they’ve sit in the bottom drawer ever since. I retrieved them from the drawer and much to my disbelief, the fit. They are a crepe material and there is no stretch in them at all. They are a size 30/32. I was nearly in tears. This got me interested in finding out what else fit. I finally decided to clean out my Wardrobe (I had mentioned I was going to do this several weeks ago). I took all of the items out (there were around about 50 in total) and I have about 10 that I have kept (this isn’t including the things in the pile of washing that I am tackling during my week off!). I have a garbage bag stuffed full of clothes that I have decided I am never going to wear again. Sure, most of them all still fit or they are things that I am going to fit into however, they are things that I have had to buy because I didn’t have a choice. I’d buy the uglyish hoddie so that I had a hoodie, not because I had a choice between hoodies. I will make do with the clothes that I have decided to keep until I have to buy new ones to accommodate my shrinkage :)

We had to take our Cats to the Vet today as they needed to be neutered. It’s one of the few times that Brad has actually said how he can notice my weight loss. He said that my stomach is a lot flatter. I do have one set of boobs now :) (I would refer to my bulging stomach as my 2nd set of boobs). It feels good to get compliments from those who see me all the time. They are obviously the ones that don’t notice the changes as much as they always see me.

When I got ready to go to the gym tonight, I tried another pair of pants on that hasn’t fit me. They are a cotton fabric. They are stretchy but would not be flattering if they had to stretch. I put them on and they fit me :) I actually wore them to the gym and felt good in them. A lot better than what I do in my normal pants as they don’t feel like they’re going to fall down and I don’t have to roll them up when I am on the bike. They also make me look slimmer as they aren’t as ‘skirt’ like. When I put my singlet top on tonight, I actually took it off to double check the size. I didn’t realise I had a size 28 Autograph singlet top in black (you can get size 28 from Autograph but the only item that I do have from them in this size is a beige singlet top). The singlet top is a size 26. And it’s starting to become loose. And it’s not riding up my stomach anymore. And I don’t have to constantly pull it down in fear of it showing my stomach.

At the gym I worked SO hard. I did 2.33km in 31.08 minutes on the treadmill. I do a program on the treadmill which includes inclines so, I do increase the speed and decrease it. I have noticed that my comfortable speed is around 4.6kph or 4.7kph. When I first started, it was 3.8kph or 4.1kph. I did 2 minutes on the cross trainer (still hurts my knees a bit – I’ll increase it by a minute each time I go) and I did 10 minutes on the bike and rode 5km. I was SO sweaty when I walked out of there. Sweaty and proud :)

These moments make me feel like crying.  It's such an emotional journey.  I didn't realise I'd feel like this so many times along the way...

I have had 1 Coffee today and am drinking my 2nd Tony Ferguson for the day. I am still trying to steer away from food as it seems to be coming up since the fill. Even the juice that I had a sip of this morning almost came up. I am watching myself.  I am also really looking forward to watching that 'big - extreme make over' show that starts on Wednesday night at 8.30pm on Channel 9.  There is a guy on there who weighs 247kg.  I can't believe I was no too far off it.  I hope that the show is inspiring.  I am looking forward to watching it.

I am SO PROUD of Trish this week. She has a really sore knee but she keeps on going (gently!) despite her injury. I am trying to persuade her to write a blog! She is an inspiration to me. She is doing so well. One of my friends is having her gastric sleeve procedure done on Wednesday. I am SO EXCITED for her! I am going to go and visit her in Hospital (if she’s up to it). I can’t wait for her life to begin. I am also proud of Cath this week for getting back on the band wagon. She hasn’t been feeling the best and it’s hard to eat properly when you’re not feeling great. Well done, honey.

I would also like to extend a warm welcome to Eli Jacob who was born today :) I am looking forward to seeing Amelia and him tomorrow :) he is a GORGEOUS boy and Amelia is a bit of a Supermum. Eli is her 6th Child. Congratulations, Amelia and Damien xo