Sunday, July 10, 2011

Time for bed :) wonder what tomorrow will bring...

I am so tired and although it has been an exciting few days, I can’t wait to go to bed and sleep!  I’ve been in touch with some amazing people over the past few days and have been introduced to a whole world of people I didn’t know existed.  I have been directed to a number of blogs, websites, forums, articles etc… and look forward to sitting down with a cup of Coffee over the coming nights when everyone’s in bed to have a read of them all.  I’ll also put together a blog with all of the bits and pieces that have been sent to me so that you can have a look to.  I have also had a heap of questions Emailed to me which I hope in the coming weeks I’ll put together and answer in one hit.

One of the questions was about when I first started my blog.  I am sure it was in July that I thought of the idea.  When trying to work out the date, I looked at my ‘about me’ page (which is in desperate need of updating) but, I found what I had written interesting…

Now at 30, I still get picked on every day. On the train, at the Station, on the Bus, walking home – even when I am standing out the front of my own house. It’s hurtful. Although I have so many comebacks now for people who pick on me, it still doesn’t stop the fact that they’ve actually said something to me about it.

Because I am the size I am, I spend most of my time going out of my way to make others comfortable. Why should my weight interfere with other people enjoying their day? I guess that’s not really the right attitude to have although it’s really the only one I know. Because I’ve been kicked to the ground so many times, that’s where I feel I belong. And although I don’t feel fat until I am trying on a new pair of pants or a new skirt that doesn’t fit or when i am looking in the mirror, it doesn’t mean that I’m not.

I feel gorgeous. I feel happy. I feel like a true friend. I feel generous. I feel loving. I feel kind. I feel like I have so much to offer someone. I feel as though I have potential.  I am caring. I am clever. I am funny. I am likeable. I am pretty. I am witty. I have drive. I show initiative. I am understanding. I am compassionate. I am determined. I am a fighter. I am FAT.

This time last year, I would have NEVER had the courage to do what I have done.  And it’s taken a lifetime of torment and cruelty from a certain type of person to drive me to the point that I have gotten to. 

I went to the Newsagent yesterday morning and got tapped on the Shoulder by a lovely girl who said ‘are you that fat girl’ and I replied ‘quite possibly’ and she said ‘ooohhh, I love you – can I have a photo with you?’.  I was on the way to the Gym and looked a bit tired and trashy but, I was very flattered.

I also took a new lot of measurements yesterday and still wish I had have started taking them at the start of my journey.  It would be great to see the difference between now and then although the difference is still quite amazing.  Since the middle of March, I have lost 5cm around my Neck, 2.5cm around my upper arm, 12cm off my bust, 14cm from my waist, 13cm from my hips, 10cm from my upper leg and 7cm from my calf.  I get weighed next week.  I can’t wait to see how much I have lost.  I was 186.3kg on the 9.6.2011.  I have been working so hard to ensure I am as fit as possible for the climb but also to try and lose 10 kilograms between the 9.6.2011 and the 20.7.2011.  Here’s hoping!

Yesterday at the gym, I did a 45 minute workout.  Lots of walking, some running and some weights.  I am not sure what my roster is like at work tomorrow but I shall bring my climbing gear to do some stairs if time permits in preparation for the big event in just 12 days time!  I’ll be working out as much as possible in the coming days.  I might even have another go of that dreaded stair machine. 

I saw my Nanna and Poppa yesterday.  Nanna was a little concerned as she thought I might be climbing up the stairs in my thongs like they showed me doing on Today Tonight.  I assured her that I have runners!  I did ask Poppa if he wanted to come up with me but he politely declined! 

I am aiming to raise $5,000 for the Cancer Council and am 24% of the way there!  To donate, simply go to http://vic.cancercouncilfu​​age.aspx?registrationID=34​2014&langPref=en-CA and any amount is appreciated.  I also have an event page on Facebook that has more information about why, where and how.  Feel free to visit and if you’d like to invite your friends to the event to help raise awareness, that would be fantastic. 
I have spent most of the day inside today (and even got the chance to have a Nanna nap).  It’s been too cold to do anything else!

Off to work early tomorrow.  Am going to get in early as I have a lot to do given the fact I had Friday off!  Aiming to get there at 7 but given the fact we’re on busses at the moment, who can tell what time I’ll get there – I look forward to next week to having the trains back after they’ve finished the work on the train tracks.

Thank you everyone for your support.  I feel honoured to have done what I did and although I didn’t expect this kind of reaction, I am happy that people are aware that it’s simply not acceptable behaviour and even though doing what I have done will probably never change a lot of people’s minds on how they act or think, it has certainly raised a lot of awareness on this important issue.

Steph xo

P.S – I am now on Twitter – you can follow me @iamabeetle please bear with my whilst I get used to using it.  Had to google what a hashtag was!


  1. don't go on the stepper. that's the machine that buggered my knees. i left the comment in the post below. they're really unhelpful machines and i'm actually thinking about seeking legal advice about my experience at fernwood which has resulted in a permanent injury. emma.

  2. You are amazing. Thank you for making me see how I am being treated is not right. I am better than that x

  3. Man, your pretty awesome..good on you for doing what your doing. The truth is its better to stand up to thins kind of behaviour and set an example for your kids. Bullying behaviour has its place everywhere, usually starts in schools so if you can get that message across to children - then maybe we wont have adults who discriminate and bully.
    I plan to study psychology next year - my dream is to develop a programme for children to be used in schools that basically teaches children how to have true self esteem because at the end of the day if everyone had self esteem you wouldn't have overweight people or bullies. It all comes down to self esteem because people with self esteem have good morals values and beliefs. Its all about valuing yourself and you, lady, look like you have gone and got yourself some! good for you :) I hope you go far in your quest - your making a big difference to people who suffer as you have, your a voice for people who dont have one.

  4. Stephanie,

    Just saw your story on Today Tonight!!! Your are inspirational. The fact that you have made the decision to step up and do something about your weight is motivation to all. It is never and easy journey and there are some dark days but know that each day you do it you are one day closer to being the person you want to be.

  5. Steph. Am glad you are doing the right thing for your kids and for your life but wished that you did something years ago like during your teens. Also feel that your parents should of helped out at that time as well. I only hope sister and parents are supportive towards you like your grand parents are. Ignore the bad comments. Look forward to see that pretty face again that was there when you were young.

  6. You are amazing!! Truely inspiring so many people! Ignore any negativity- those people will get theirs in due time. Gorgeous- just wonderful that there are people like you who are willing to put it out there to inspire others!

  7. hey there hun!!! i posted a huge comment before but it didnt work. so here goes again.... firstly you are doing an amazing job and dont ever let anyone tell you any different ! you are the difference!!!! so anyway what i came here to say was i am one of three admins on a facebook group called "buddies through thick and thin" we are a bunch of girls who have our own weight issues and the group was started for us to have a safe place, circle of trust so to speak. we talk about many things, but tonight you are our main topic! so much support for you! its a group where we talk about our weightloss goals, sucesses and failures, and just day to day things that come up everyday. we are 100% supportive of each other and im here to ask YOU especially and anyone who wants to join, to join us! ive told the girls that i was going to ask you and they are very excited. we would love it if you would! we are from all over australia and are planning a meet and greet in brisbane. four days of shopping having fun and then to top it off we are going to participate in the bridge to brisbane 10km funrun! anyway, so hope to see you soon on our group, called buddies through thick and thin, ill be on there as natasha lovescats. xxx keep going, your doing a fabulous job!

  8. Thank you all for the lovely comments :) it's hard to address everyone as a lot of you are 'Anons!'. I have joined the FB group :) am just waiting to be accepted. Looking forward to joining your little network. Feel quite special to be invited to be a part of it :)

    Thank you for the tip about the stair machine, Emma. If my PT does insist that I go on it, I shall say no :) I plan on responding to your other post in a moment. Thank you for sharing your story with me xo

    To the Anon who has written something about my family - you obviously know a little bit about me but, possibly are only aware of half the story. If you knew ANYTHING about me when I was a teen, you would have known that I didn't really care much about what people thought about me, said about me or said to me. My Parents are very proud as is my Sister. And if you did know me, you would know that I have tried SO MANY things throughout my life to lose my weight - this is the only thing that has worked and lap band isn't really something that I agree with in Teens anyway. If you wish to respond to what I have written here, please Email me at as if you do know me (or even a bit about me), you would know that what you have written would be quite hurtful to my family.