Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I did have my vent... and it was loud!

I start tonight’s blog by saying happy birthday to my Mum :) if it weren’t for her, I would not be here!  I hope you had a wonderful day xo

We went to the Pancake Parlour for Dinner and I think Mum enjoyed herself :) I SO wanted Cottage fries.  It was strange going there and not having them - well, anything other than my protein shake for that matter!  I didn't want to risk eating and not having it go down.

So, today I had my PT.  My Car had other plans. I backed out the drive way and suddenly, there was nothing!  I had to get Brad to push the Car up to the nature strip.  He put some petrol in it and it was right to go.  By that time, I’d already cancelled my PT and reorganised it for tomorrow morning at 6 before work.  My left calf has settled down.  It is not sore at all.  And my blister has gone too so, we’re right to go in just under 7 hours.  Eeek.

I did what I promised I would do and I wrote to MX about their ‘vent your spleen’ section on Friday (I’ll have to scan my copy so that you can have a read).  I sent them the following…

I am fat.  Well, in most people’s eyes I am fatter than fat.  And this time last year, I would have probably been one of the fattest people you’d see as I used to weigh 243 kilograms.  Medically, that makes me ‘super obese’.  And In just under a year, I have lost just over 60 kilograms.  I’m still fat.  And in most people’s eyes, I am still fatter than fat and yes -I am still classified as being ‘super obese’.  I am also a Metro and VLine Passenger and I am also a regular reader of MX and as a result of my weight, I have been victim to countless hurtful and unprovoked attacks.  And so have many other people who are over an ‘acceptable’ size in societies eyes.

Despite the incredible amount of weight that I have lost (and am continuing to lose) , much to some peoples disgust, I take up 1 and a bit of a seat on the train (depends what style of train we’re talking as some seats are bigger than others).  I am fully aware of the fact that I take up a bit more room than others so this is how I do things to accommodate you.  And when I say you, I am referring to those who write into ‘vent your spleen’ whinging about how fat people and how rude, inconsiderate and unthoughtful they are.

I catch the 6.31am VLine train from Melton to North Melbourne and from there I go to Melbourne Central.  I don’t need to start work until 8.30am but I catch the earlier train so that I get a ‘guilt free’ seat.  By saying that, I mean a place that I can sit down without being made to feel bad about taking up that little bit of extra room at a time where there are plenty of seats available.  On the way home, I catch a train from Melbourne Central to North Melbourne and then a train to Melton.  If I can get a ‘guilt free seat’, great.  If not, I stand as I am fully aware that others will get on the train and 2 people can sit down in place of my one.

I’m not one of these fat people who stand to the left side of the escalators – I walk up them and probably faster than most people do!  I make sure that I hold my bag close to my body whilst standing on trains when we’re packed in like a tin of sardines so that others can get past and if the train is too full, I don’t bother getting on at all as once again, I am aware of the fact I take up more room than most. 

I always make sure that I wear headphones in my ears with my music blaring (not too loud for those of you who can’t stand being able to hear other people’s music!) but, loud enough so I can’t hear the snide remarks that are made about my weight by others.  I also go through the big barriers when presenting my ticket so that people don’t laugh at the fact how I only just squeeze through the small one.  I generally get picked on for my weight once a week.  Sometimes more.  And I’ve had enough.

When I catch public transport, my mind isn’t on where I am going or how late the train was – it’s constantly about how I can make others feel comfortable so that in return, I don’t get picked on, bullied or harassed for the fact that I am bigger than most.  So when I read the constant generalised comments in ‘vent your spleen’ like the ones on Friday the 1st of July 2011, I prepare myself for more frequent attacks as for some reason, some people feel as though once this topic is discussed at such length (which it is several times a year), they feel a sense of entitlement (and perhaps they feel empowered) to confront me about my right to be on the train at all.  And it’s not nice.  I shouldn’t have to buy 2 tickets on the train.  Perhaps Metro should make bigger seats?  Maybe we should revert back to the ‘old days’ where one type of person sits in one carriage and others sit in a different one?  Are you starting to get the hint that this is heading along the lines of discrimination? 

I’m not saying that everyone has been bullied into being as courteous as I am but, before picking on someone for their weight, have a think about what might be going through their head.  You don’t know anything about them.  You don’t know why they are like the way they are.  It might be due to a medical reason.  Regardless of the reason as to why they are overweight, they might be like me – they’ve just lost a third of their excess weight so that they can live a little longer and feel a bit healthier and cautious of every move they make to avoid being picked on but, then again, they might not be.  Either way, they have just as much right to be on the train as you do.  And they also have the right to be treated with respect, consideration and equality. 

If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know of my issues that I have regarding Public Transport let alone the fact that I am constantly picked on and bullied for no other reason other than the fact that I am overweight.  I’ve had enough so, that is why I decided to take a stand.

I was contacted by a Journalist at MX and she’s going to write something up.  They’ coming out tomorrow to take a photo and hopefully, it will be in tomorrow’s MX.  I shall grab a copy and scan it for those of you who are not local.  It’s about time someone stood up for people who are overweight.  If someone’s gonna do it, it may as well be me.

As far as I am aware, they’re mentioning a link to my blog and also information on my stair climb which is great as well. 

I’ve been referred to as brave several times today.  It’s not bravery that’s driven me.  It’s the simple fact that I am over being bullied and discriminated against.  Hey, it may not make a difference but who knows.  If people don’t like me taking up one and a tiny bit chairs, perhaps they’d prefer it if I sat on their lap?

And it’s not just people like myself who take up too much room on the train – people with Guitars, surf boards, prams, bikes, cat carriers (sorry, Cozi xo) – there are several different types of people with many reasons as to why they may take up room and then be put in the same box as someone like myself where they should buy an extra ticket as some suggest should happen. 

Stay tuned :)


  1. Thank you for sticking up for me. I am afraid to do it for myself.

  2. You are my inspiration, you have got me through such a tough time (this is Carls LoL) and your mental strength is an inspiration to me, you go girl xx Can't wait to see the MX and be there when you climb those stairs x You look fantastic, give me a girl your size any day to a someone who disappears when they stand sideways xxxx much love to you

  3. Good for you girl! Don't buy a second ticket, you shouldn't have to feel that you need to. Be proud of who you are and how far you have come!

  4. I just wanted to let you know I just saw your story on news.com.au and I just want to say that it made me so sad. Please don't let others comments affect you. You are an inspiration! Well done on losing so much weight and I truly hope that you get to your goal. x

  5. I came here through the news.com.au story. I am sorry that you have been so terribly bullied. I am sorry that you feel the need to constantly check yourself so that you aren't offending idiots. It makes me terribly sad that you constantly go out of your way to accommodate a-holes but no one goes out of their way to accommodate you as a human being. Stop by my blog sometime... it's about living fat in a world who hates fatties.
    Much love to you

  6. Just rise above this
    Kill them with your kindness
    Ignorance is blindness
    They're the ones that stand to lose

  7. I have been blessed with thin genes from my family, plus good health so I have been spared your struggle. Therefore I wish to offer you courage, compassion and care as you continue your very public journey to better health for yourself and your family. Yours is an exceptional braveness and I wish you well on your journey. Regards always - Sarasmum in Canberra (PS The score is computers 1 - humans 0 as I try to post this comment)

  8. Well good luck on weight loss but lets face it if you take up two seats then you SHOULD have to pay for two.You have to take resposibilty for your own weight gain. There is no one to blame but yourself for that.

  9. I just read your story on the news site and followed the link to your blog.
    Hold your head up high and be proud, you don't have to apologize to anyone for being you.
    I wish there were more people like you in the world you make it a better place.
    Good luck in the future.

  10. WELL DONE STEPHANIE, WHAT A GREAT ARTICLE! Shame on anyone who is rude to anyone on public transport. I wish people had more respect, good for you girl...

  11. To both the anon's on here that have make ridiculous spineless comments, have the balls to use your name when posting or shut your ignorant mouths and spare us your idiocy. As for the calf comment, perhaps something along the lines of when t hey tell YOU that size doesn't matter, it's because you are a small person that doesn't touch the sides the way you should, is fitting?

  12. Good on you for speaking up - I used to be in exactly the same position until I had a gastric sleeve operation.
    And the anonymous nasty comments just prove your point - shame, shame, shame!

  13. that anon's comment about Steph being responsible for her own weight...well yes she is but if people like you had a little more insight about others and understand that not everyone thinks or act like you! Theres no such thing as 'SHOULD' thats your own opinion and beliefs, not every one elses!!
    When I see an obese person, yes my eyes are diverted to them instantly, not because Im disgusted but because yes, its noticable if someone is quite obese. But you know what goes on in my head? and this is my honest thoughts....
    'that person is huge, poor bugger there must be something wrong in their life for them to get to that size, maybe they've been raped or maybe something terribly sad has happened or maybe they have self esteem issues and eating might make them feel better, even though its a catch 22 situation. I dont know, but if someone gets obese purely form eating too much then there is definately something wrong physically or mentally. Maybe they've already lost alot of weight, I hope they lose some more if they have and good on them'
    And thats what I think, I try not to be judgemental, in a perfect world we wouldnt have idiots who worry about others and their size, I mean why would you be angry because someone else is fat? someone you dont even know?
    not your business, why take it upon yourself, does it really affect you? You know why? because what you see in a fat person is exactly what digusts you about yourself, whether your fat or not - theres an aspect to what YOU believe is in a fat persons character that u see in yourself and you HATE- its simple psychology and if everyone understood it then you wouldnt make comments like that because everyone would know it would be a reflection on yourself.
    Bloddy bully, but hey maybe I should feel sorry for you, maybe something shit has happened in your life to make you so freaking arrogant and rude - the difference is, Steph is a nice person and wouldnt even try to make someone feel like shit for no reason and your not.

  14. Steph, I read your story in Mx and watched the Today Tonight story. All the very best for the weight loss. I was shocked to hear of the abuse hurled your way in public by complete strangers but I always imagine this kind of abuse is more a reflection on them than the person they are being outright rude to.
    And to the anon poster uyp there (posted 7/7/2011 at 8:30 pm), I think Steph has taken responsibility and this shows by her detemrnination to lose the wright. So your post is obsolete- sorry. :-)

  15. Well done Steph. Stay strong. xxx

  16. My friend sent this to me yesterday ... ‎A 15 year old girl holds her 1 year old son, people call her a s!*t... No one knows she was raped at 13. People call a girl fat... No one knows she has a serious disease which causes her to be overweight. People call an old man ugly... No one knows he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country during war.

    People who judge you are ignorant.

    Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story, wishing all the best Steph! You should be so proud to have come this far already.