Sunday, July 17, 2011

Running in the rain...

Some of you may know that I suffered from depression a few years ago.  I remember when I was at my worst.  I used to spend days sitting on the Couch and watching TV.  I’d get up occasionally and do the things that needed to be done.  I’d wash the clothes, get people ready for School.  The Babies were quite young then too and when I look back, I managed quite well.

I remember when I was depressed how I was given a list of things to do that would assist me in feeling happier.  The list included things like taking a hot bath, reading a book, eating some chocolate, drinking 2 litres of coke and stay up and watch the sunrise, go shopping to buy a pet plant, wearing a fake moustache for a day and some other odd things.  I remember reading the list in full.  I had a reason as to why I couldn’t do each one.  I didn’t fit in the batch, I couldn’t concentrate on a book, I was already eating chocolate and it wasn’t getting me anywhere, I don’t particularly like coke (and sunrises made me feel unhappy as it meant it was so early in the morning), a pet plant? and do I even need to explain why I wouldn’t wear the moustache? 

One of the things that was on the list though was going for a walk or a run.  I remember the Doctor saying that is a great an inexpensive way to feel a bit better.  I used to keep the Curtains closed all day and peeking out thinking how lovely the day looked and how nice it would be to have some fresh air.  Sometimes I actually forced myself into going out into the backyard just to feel the sun on my skin.

Today I have felt a bit shitty.  I’ve got a few things on my mind.  Today, I felt quite anxious and decided I would go to the Pokies.  Not a good idea.  I did win the $453 Jackpot however, it is still not good to go to the Pokies when you’re feeling down.  I had already had a shower and that did nothing for me.  I even tried on some old clothes to find out that several things did fit that haven’t for 3 years.  That was quite exciting however, I still couldn’t get out of my rut so, after trying everything I could think of, I went for a run.

I asked the Boys if they wanted to come with me and they said they would.  I chucked my runners on and changed my top and walked up to the local park.  I then started up my ‘Couch to 5k’ app and started to follow the instructions.  Before I knew it, I was running and I actually ran a bit longer than what I thought I would.  It was spitting and there was steam coming off my skin (I think because it was so cold and I was so warm!).  It felt strange to run without the safety of the treadmill bars by my side.  Everything jiggled a lot more.  I was so proud.  I got Lachie to take some photos of me being a dork and then we went home.

I am still feeling the benefits of my run.  Running gave me something else to concentrate on and think about.  Making sure I don’t fall over in any pot holes in slip in the mud!  It was great to be able to escape the real world for a while.  How could you not when you have such a wonderful sound track on your iPod?  I still feel much happier and more motivated to do what needs to be done (Callum is back to School tomorrow).  I feel like cleaning.  I have already done a lot more cleaning tonight than what I normally would have.  I am managing to keep myself busy which keeps me distracted and sane at the same time. 

5 sleeps left until the stair climb.  I still have a lot of preparation to do.  I am going to swim tomorrow night.  I don’t want to do anything to exhausting.  I’ll be guided by what Michael suggests.  He knows about these sorts of things more than what I do!  I suppose the only thing that I can ensure I do is eat properly and continue to ask people for their support!  Please donate here by following this link… http://vic.cancercouncilfu​​age.aspx?registrationID=34​2014&langPref=en-CA
I also have weigh day this Wednesday.  I am still hoping to have lost 10kg in the past 6 weeks.  I haven’t been that great in the past few days but, I shall do as much as I can to counteract my not so desirable eating habits that I have displayed recently.
I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend :)


  1. Hope that you are okay.

    Well done for still going even if you feel yuck.

  2. Good for you Steph, I just wish I could run around a park but then I have my own exercise bike, step up machine and an ab machine now. As I havent regained any of the 23 kilos Ive lost as as Im a size 12-14 now, I dont feel the need at the moment for heavy exercise, maybe when the weather warms up a bit, and then I will go back to salads then also instead of my 120 gms of meat and veges. No, No, no more pokies!!! Even if you did win, it has to be a no, no!! That Jackpot win is just to encourage you to go back, DONT, and dont relent either!! Put that money in your pocket and buy yourself something nice.
    My thoughts are with you at this difficult time Steph.. Linda..xx

  3. Wish I had your courage!!!