Thursday, November 25, 2010

1 week Post Op

I'm not sure how to write this but, I am going to see how I go...

Today has been good. I haven't had any pain killers. My belly button is the only thing that is sore other than the port site.

I did some washing and also cleaned the kitchen. It still really hurts to bend over. I notice if I sort of 'kneel' when I bend, things don't seem to hurt as much.

Although my weight isn't here solely here due to overeating, it does play some part of it. Emotional eating also plays some part, something that I've been addressing in the past few months and something that will get better over time as I learn to understand the correlation between ho I am feeling and my eating habits.

It's been a week since my Surgery. It's great that I'm feeling good physically but, mentally an emotionally, I not feeling that crash hot.

I used to enjoy going to Maccers for breakfast. This is something I used to do frequently (at least once per fortnight). It also used to be on a Thursday which is the day that I don't have the Children. I also enjoy getting take away for lunch at least one a week. Sometimes I do this on the Tuesday when I only have the babies or I do it on the Thursday. In the last few months, take away has been Subway or a salad roll. It's still something other than my regular Optifast bar.

These are moments and things that I used to enjoy. They used to make me, well, happy?

It's not bothering me being on the liquid phase or 2 weeks. It's not bothering me. I am having a lot of yummy soups and smoothies and tonight, I'm having milo for tea.

I feel like going to an all you can eat and pigging out. I'm not hungry but, just the thought f being able to choose from so many bad foods does it for me :) I'm not even hungry but, the thought of not even being able to have a salad sandwich makes me annoyed.

I suppose that these sorts of things are normal and the feelings that I have are natural. They're just very annoying and quite consuming.

I need a plan on how to get through these moments. Perhaps going to the gym when I have these feelings will help or finding something else that I enjoy doing. I'll need to write a list and find new things that I can enjoy doing in place of those occasions where I'd eat. 

Someone actually said to me the other day that they thought I'd be happy now that I have the band.  I am happy that I got it and from what I have experienced thus far, I know I have made the right decision.  I look at some of my behaviours when it came to eating and realised that I was killing myself with food (which obviously leads to being Overweight).  I am doing the right things to make sure that my lap band experience is successful however, as I've said before a few times now, you can get a band for your stomach but not for your head.  I've heard some people refer to it as 'head hunger' - when you think about food all the time but you're not actually hungry (I think I have the definition of the term correct...).

I know I am going to be able to eat again as well! Obviously not in the same way a I used to. This is not what's getting me down. It's just my routine has changed and I need to adjust to that.

I wrote this at around about 9.30pm on Wednesday night .It's now 4.30am on Thursday morning and it's amazing what a little bit of sleep can do.

I have decided that I am going to put $30 a week (roughly what I would have spent on the take away for myself in a week) into an account that I use so for clothes as I shrink. I have also decided that when I do feel like this, going for a walk is going to be the option. not necessarily going to the gym (because then I have to go through the whole thing of still no being able to put socks and shoes on) but, just a walk by myself (or with the Dogs) I am also going to call my team leader and let her know that I am coming back on Monday rather than the Wednesday. Although my job is annoying and stressful at times, I do enjoy it and it does make me feel better about myself when I am at work rather t laying invalid house Mum. At least I can do loads of washing, fold the washing an pack the dishwasher now!

I'm going back to bed.

Oh, and I have changed my weigh in day too - I am going to weigh myself on a Wednesday from now on as Wednesday is when I had my Surgery. I've still gotta do those measurements!

Thank you for reading my whinge xo I guess it''s all part of the journey, hey.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Stephanie,
    I been thinking bout getting the lap band & have been researching online 4 bout a month. Out of everything I have read & watched this is the 1st time I have felt compelled to reply as its a huge fear of me getting the band. Exactly what you describe here as the emotional eating and the head band comments. I'm scared that i will fail due to this. I think u r very brave & thanks for being so open. i enjoy following u. Keep up the good work. S