It's been a while! Firstly, to everyone who has been messaging me and Emailing me to find out if I am still alive (and/or on track), I really appreciate your support and concern. I am still alive but, a lot has happened in the last few weeks. I'm not sure which chain mail I didn't pass on or what ladder I have walked under in the past month or so but life has been bloody hard lately and it seems that everything that can test me has been thrown at me. It's bizarre.
A week ago, Brad went into Hospital. He'll be there for another few weeks yet. A week prior to that, cracks started to show in what seemed to be my almost drama free life!
The following is a list of the things that have happened in the past 2 weeks (in no particular order). Shit happens but it has never happened to me in such huge quantities...
- Brad is in Hospital
- The hot water service broke (and is now fixed $1800 later...)
- The dishwasher broke down and needed replacing ($700 later...)
- The toilet became blocked (free - managed to unblock it without the need for a plumber)
- The babies keep turning the pilot light off on the hot water service so I end up with cold water rather than hot and then have to wait for it to heat up again
- Lachlan opened a tin of paint in the Laundry and it spilled all over the floor and is now on all of my work clothes and on parts of the carpet in the house
- My washing machine has stopped working properly and doesn't spin the clothes
- A child threatened Lachlan with a knife last week
- I am not sleeping at night and keep getting up and strange times
- I lost my car keys and needed to call a locksmith to replace my car key - more money I didn't need (or have) to be spending...
- Callum made corn flake and honey bread the other day and dropped the honey jar on the ground resulting in a sticky mess
- Charlotte dropped all the coffee on the ground also
- I have ran out of money because of everything that has needed replacing
- The floor boards near the shower have rotted and they are going to end up breaking if not replaced soon
- Kitty has a sore on his leg and needs to go to the vet
- Lachlan broke something whilst he was on an excursion and I need to pay for it
- I lost my train ticket today and had to buy a new one (small in the scheme of things but still annoying)
- I got my sleep study results and I have severe sleep apnoea
- I haven't been able to go to the gym for the past 2 weeks because if I'm not cleaning or cooking, I'm sleeping
- I've changed my surgery date from the 6th of October 2010 to the 28th of October 2010
I could go on and on could bring up more things that have happened but the list above is not only lengthy but it is so negative. I don't want to dwell on the negatives too much as it's all that seems to have been happening.
In some way, I wish I had continued to blog each day so that I had an account of what was going on so that in a few weeks or months time I can look back and say 'sure, that was hard but I got through' but, I didn't and in some way I am happy as although none of what has happened is related to my weight loss or my lap band journey, it has affected my mood therefore has affected my focus and my eating habits.
I haven't been behaving as well as I should have in the past few weeks when it comes to eating. I have had some take away (other than Subway). Hungry Jacks was one thing that I ate. It made me feel sick and I ended up vomiting. I won't do that again. I haven't been having my shakes although I have kept my fluid intake up which is good.
I really should have taken the time to study what was going on and keep myself focused but now that the worst part is over (I hope) I can now get back on track.
TOMORROW I START FROM SCRATCH AGAIN.
I have put on weight - I am not sure how much but I will weigh myself and I'll write it up but tomorrow, I start my Optifast shake diet again and I will follow it. I have 5 and a half weeks left to surgery so it's good that in some way I have been given a second chance on sticking to the program to make sure that my surgery goes as smoothly as possible. This is not something that I have been thinking about as this crud has been occurring.
It's really late so I'll revisit some of the things that I have written tomorrow like the sleep apnoea results (OMG - that was scary) and whatever else is included in my list of things that need further explanation.
Once again, thank you everyone for the messages that I have received over the past few weeks. I look forward to having my shakes tomorrow and have the feeling of control again. Well, control on what I put in my mouth anyway.
I'm off to bed xo
P.S - one fantastic thing happened last week - I not only met Shane Crawford but I got to bring him his lunch! I'll put pics up tomorrow :)
As much as these things seem like setbacks now (and surely they are a pain in the a$$), they are making you stronger & enabling you to focus on what you NEED instead of what you WANT. In a perfect world you (and I) would be slim and as gorgeous as our inner selves... But... Of course the world doesn't work that way!! So the experiences build us into the strong, capable, interesting and compassionate people that we are destined to be (whatever our wrapping). Love you my darling friend! xx
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