Monday, February 28, 2011

I NEED FOOD! Well, at least I think I do...

I don’t get me.  For the last week and a half, I have been doing SO well with my eating and exercise.  I even went for a walk on Friday night when I got home from work however, for the last 2 days, I have been SO hungry.  I can think of a few things that I could put it down to but really, I feel as though when I think of these things that I am trying to blame someone (or something) other than myself for my actions.

Today I ate lots.  Not terribly bad foods but, I ate things in quantities that I never thought would fit now that I have a band.  I ate toast with Avocado, Onion and Tomatoes.  I had a small pack of the Kid’s Bickies that go in their lunches.  I ate Chasse.  I didn’t look at the kilojoule content of any of the things that I put in my mouth today.  I was irresponsible with my food choices and to top it off, I didn’t go and do any exercise to try and reason in my own mind that ‘1 right erases several wrongs’.

I know that we can’t all be perfect and I know that it is easy to fall off the Wagon.  It’s a lot harder to get back on it again when you do the wrong thing for longer so, it’s my goal to get right back on it tomorrow by starting with a session at the gym.  They have aqua aerobics’ at 11am and this is a class that I have been wanting to try out for some time. It’s just the whole ‘getting in and doing it’ that has been stopping me.  One of my lap banding books talks about getting over things so that you are able to get in and have a go – I think this is one of those things that I need to get over.   I shall let you know if I go or if I don’t go. To the aerobics class but the gym is a definite.

I did remind myself today that now is not the time to fall off the Wagon due to the fact I have the relay for life coming up in just over a month.  I need to make sure that I stick to my fitness regime and my eating habits continue to be good like they were last week.

I was a bit disappointed as I got my ‘relay for life’ top in the mail on Friday.  I tried it on and it was way too tight.  Not the ‘it will fit after I’ve been really good’ for a week tight but a really bad ‘fatty grid girl’ kind of way.  I might put it on and take a photo of myself.  Not because I am going to wear it during the relay more so for the purpose of looking back at the photo in a few months and trying the top on again to see if there is any difference.  It’s my boobs that help me pull off any type of suitable look – it’s the rest that make it look bad!

I took the time on Sunday to write out a menu for the next week and a half.  Tonight we had red Chicken Curry for dinner.  It was so nice.  Tomorrow night, Callum is cooking and he has decided that he is going to make Hamburgers (I can have the salad – not the pattie).  It was great to be able to write everything down and feel organised for a change.  The slow cooker is going to get a work out on the nights that I am at work and I have limited the nights that the family have take away to one night per week, this being on a Friday or Saturday.  Now, if I can stick to doing it every week again, things will be good :)

Well, I’m off to bed.  Busy day ahead tomorrow.  I have a lot of cleaning to do and I have to also get rid of this Headache that has been looming since Friday afternoon.  It’s a stress thing – at least I know that now.  I had the day off work today because of it.  Maybe that’s why I am feeling as though I need to eat my way through everything as well – I am an emotional eater and this was something I knew years ago.  I just need to put that part aside and do positive things to combat the stress and upset rather than eating :/ that’s the hard part!

Night all xo


  1. I think us "fat people" are pretty good at ignoring our bodies, I have noticed skinny people eat a lot more than I do. They listen to their bodies, body says I need energy, they eat something. My body says hungry, I ignore it, then I eat the wrong thing.

    You are doing good Steph <3. Today, I got told I am too fat to have birth control pills because my BMI is 39 and in Sweden they will not give them to anyone with a BMI over 30 =( I hate this place.

  2. Oh honey, that is crap. I know that when I was on the Pull, my Dkctor was looking into a study regarding overweight people and if we should have to take twice the dose than that of a skinny person. Do you not have a Doctor from Oz you can say you had them from before? What if you advised it's for acne treatment or something like that? Would they change their minds than? That's just crap. Maybe they just want a gorgeous Aussie baby born on Sweedish Soil :) xoxo

  3. LOL well I think I would not mind if we had a baby =) But it's my skin and heavy awful periods that I want to avoid, pill gets rid of that. Doctors here are so conservative it is just RETARDED.