Sunday, February 20, 2011

What a wonderful weekend other than a slight hitch...

It has been a good last few days. I have done so well with my exercise and eating. Brad went to the football on Friday night which gave me the chance to do Zumba for the first time without prying eyes (or so I thought!). I was 10 minutes in to it and was realising just how unco I am when Callum (my 9 year old) came around the corner and just stood there staring at me. He had a bit of a half smile. It was quite off-putting being stared at like that so I asked him to join in. It was great. We had a wonderful time together. I was SO tired at the end of it! I can’t believe how much it makes you work. It’s defiantly on my to do list at least twice at week. I might get the courage to do it at the Gym once I have gotten used to it a bit and I don’t feel so odd :/

Yesterday, I had to work overtime so I wasn’t able to go the gym as by the time I got home, it had closed. I had decided the other day that I would go for a walk instead. I left at about 7.45. I took Lachlan with me along with the twins in their single prams. I found it was really hard to walk with the babies in these prams (I’ve only ever used them a few times for shopping etc..., not when walking fast). I kept stepping on the back wheels of the pram meaning I wasn’t able to walk fast. I phoned Brad and asked if he could pick the twins up so I could focus on my walking.

We’d only walked about a kilometre. We were at the University in the car park. Brad arrived and got out of the Car and grabbed Charlotte and began putting him in his seat. I heard a car horn beeping (like it was someone saying hi). I looked around to see a silver Ute. I didn’t recognise it. This guy put his head out the window and shouted out ‘Genesis is that way’. Genesis is a gym. I had about a second to think of what to do and I ended up shouting out ‘that’s why I’m exercising f**k h**d’.

I was SO angry. My face was SO hot. I felt like crying. I looked at Brad who was waiting for my reaction. He hadn’t heard what they had said but Lachlan had. I told Brad what they said and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I said that I thought I might go home (I was getting cramps in my calves when I was walking anyway). But then, I thought no. I am not letting it get to me. I am BETTER than that. So I said to Lach let’s go. And we did.

We started walking a bit further up the road. I was walking fast. I was SO angry. That bloke had ignited my anger. My frustration. With that comment, years of comments came back into my head (as it always does when I am picked on for no reason other than being fat).

I told Lachie some of the things that happened when I was a Child in regard to bullying. I told him that’s why I suggest to him that he doesn’t have seconds of dinner at night, have a piece of fruit instead. I told him this is why I am trying to teach him good habits so that he doesn’t end up going though what I have my whole life.

I also apologised to him and said ‘I shouldn’t have called that man an ‘f’ head’. Lachie’s response was ‘why not?’. It wasn’t said in a tone like he was looking for an answer. It was said in the ‘he deserved it’ tone. I said to him that I shouldn’t have sworn in front of him or his siblings but it was a natural reaction. I said to him that you don’t go through life being picked on without defending it. I also reiterated that calling people an ‘f’ head is not defending yourself – I was just angry.

In a way, I owe that guy a thank you. He made me push myself. Made me realise why I am doing this. Made me happy that I was out exercising rather than sitting on the couch eating a bag of chips. I certainly had a good walk last night and I can tell from how my legs feel this morning.

Today we had a wonderful day. I enjoy weekends as I get to spend time with the family. I I was going to go for a walk again tonight but, by the time we got home it was a bit late. I guess in the back of my mind I worry the same sort of thing may happen like it did last night. There are plenty of people in the world out to bring me down. It’s just ironic how it happened the first time that I chose to exercise publicly.

I was a big naughty today – I weighed myself. I was 196.7kg. On Thursday, I was 197.1kg. Today I am 196.7kg. I need to make sure I don’t start the every 3rd day weigh game again!

I have a personal training session on Thursday. I am really looking forward to it.

I feel really good now that I am back. I am happy that everything seems to be coming together.

A few words that one of my gorgeous friends said to me the other day (words she is considering getting tattooed) come to mind today - ‘the best is yet to come’. I have to agree with her.


  1. I'm so sorry about that jerk, but so proud of you for continuing with the walk.. well done hon.. well done :)

    Anne (lose2live)

  2. i love u to bits. u shuld get it tattooed too.
    or when u get to ur goal weight ill pay for u to get a tattoo of ur choice if u want

    such an inspiration steph. so glad ur back on track babe!