Thank you :)

Wow, what a day!

I’d like to thank everyone for the tremendous amount of support that I have received since the running of the article in MX yesterday, the numerous articles that have been floating around online today and the exclusive interview I did with Today Tonight.

The response has been very positive and I am so pleased to be able to represent not the bigger people who are discriminated against but everyone else who feels as though they are discriminated (for whatever reason) for their differences.  Let’s face it, none of us are the same.  And that’s the point I wanted to get across. 

It’s funny how raising awareness to these sorts of things also invites those who this was directed at to make personal attacks on here.  I have (and will) continue to delete any comments that are not constructive.  I’m tempted to leave them up here so that people can read the reason as to why I raised this issue in the first place however, my blog is a positive place that a number of people visit to seek inspiration, motivation and support and I will make sure it remains that way. 

My Children are so terribly proud of me.  I was in a Taxi at the time the segment went to air and when I arrived home, we watched it together as a family.  My 2 eldest Children are learning such a valuable lesson – to accept people for who they are and to stand up for what they believe in.   My 10 year old came up and gave me a huge hug after the story and told me how proud he is of me.  I am blessed to have such wonderful, healthy and happy children.

If you missed tonight’s story, you can follow this link and it will take you to it…

http://au.todaytonight.yahoo.com/article/9811238/none/obesity-humiliation

And if you’re interested in making a donation to my stair climb, click on the following.  Your support is greatly appreciated.  So far $1,115 has been raised for this fantastic cause :) it's in 14 days time - I'm very excited!  Michael (my Personal Trainer who was on Today Tonight this evening) will be coming up with me along with Brendan (one of my mates from work who has been a great support over the past few months) and possibly a few others.  It might end up being a little conga line up to the top.  I'm really looking forward to it.  Failure is not an option.

http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=342014&langPref=en-CA

Although I don’t need to justify myself to any of my critics, those who know me (or people who take the time to research before commenting or judging) will know that I am a tax payer, my surgery was self funded and I am fortunate enough to have top Private Health Cover.  All the information is at your finger tips :)  I had my surgery on the 17^th of November 2010 so, if you start reading my blog from last year, you’ll read all the nitty gritty about how I am lucky enough to not suffer things such as diabetes, cholesterol, heart disease – all of the things that you are vulnerable to when you are at such a huge weight. 

Thank you to Lynda from Today Tonight for putting such a wonderful story together.  I really appreciate it and thank you to her wonderful crew – I was lucky enough to spend the day with some fantastic people.  Also thank you to Erin from MX for taking the interest in my story.  Thank you my wonderful friends and family – I am blessed to have so many supportive, loving and accepting people in my life.  And thank you to the wonderful people who have given such wonderful feedback.  Your stories and honesty are inspiring.  I feel honoured to be in such a position.

It's a funny feeling knowing that this story was the 2nd top viewed in the Country today.  I'm just a fat chick trying to make a difference.  And I hope I have :)

And to the 28 messages in my Voicemail – you’ll have to wait until tomorrow as I’m going to bed!

If you do want to get in touch with me, my Email address is movingforwardlookingforward@gmail.com

Steph xo

Humbled...

What an interesting day :)

Firstly, let me say hi to all the MX, news.com.au and Herald sun readers who have found themselves here tonight.

I am quite happy with the story that MX have published.  The article on the front page (for Melbourne readers) was written by a Journalist from MX.  The ‘for what it’s worth’ that was published on page 4 was written by me and between the 2, I hope that people got the message that I am trying to send.

I’ve had a few interesting comments left on my blog tonight.  I have been called a fatty bum!  Well, I’d have to agree 100%!  I also got called a ‘beached whale’ at Southern Cross Station tonight but, I am here to focus on the positives.  I have had several messages from people who are fed up too.  I’ve had messages of support, encouragement and many ‘thank yous’ and I appreciate every single one of them.   Thank you so much xo

I’ve had some wonderful donations for my stair climb that’s on the 22^nd of this month (2 weeks tomorrow, to be exact!).  I am climbing up 46 flights of stairs to raise money for ‘The Cancer Council’.  When I left home this afternoon, the tally was $640.  Since the article has been ran, we are now up to $1050.  Here is the link to sponsor the climb – your support is appreciated. 

http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=342014&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=direct%2fnone

I met with Lynda from Today Tonight this evening and they are running a story on discrimination, fatism, my weight loss journey and my stair climb. I asked Today Tonight if they'd sponsor my stair climb in exchange for the story and they have agreed to do so.  I feel like a bit of a Superstar as I am not allowed to speak to any Media until after the story has is aired which will be on Monday night.  So, if you’re from the Media and are sending me Emails (yes, this is happening!), I am happy to speak to you after this story has ran however, an offer to donate to my stair climb fund raising efforts is appreciated :) my Email address is movingforwardlookingforward@gmail.com

So, here’s some links to today’s articles…

http://www.news.com.au/national/its-not-ok-to-discriminate-stephanie-payne-speaks-out-over-taunts-on-public-transport/story-e6frfkvr-1226090101941

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/fat-attacks-from-commuters-anger-overweight-mum/story-e6frf7jo-1226090141116

If you have a read through my blog, you’ll see the journey I have been on hasn’t been an easy one.  It’s been full of ups and downs and has been an amazing ride and it’s only getting started.  And you can do anything if you put your mind to it.  I don’t blame anyone else for my weight (like one person has indicated) – I do accept responsibility and that’s why I am doing something about it.  I also want to point out that I don’t take up 2 seats (like the same person suggested) however, out of interest, I will measure how big my butt (or anyone elses for that matter) would have to be to consume the 2 seats tomorrow! 

I’ll continue to rally for people who are being discriminated against no matter what size I am. 

Once again, I appreciate your support more than you know :)

Steph xo

Exciting times ahead :)

It has been such a hectic day!  I am so tired but am full of energy (if that makes sense).  A big happy birthday to my Sister, Da and gorgeous Carly xo hope you both had fantastic days :) xo

I got up at 5.30 and had a quick shower before heading off to the Gym for my PT session.  It was so cold this morning but not for long.  Michael got me doing some running, some stairs and some boxing.  He’s lucky he didn’t get an accidental punch in the face as he got me to do some boxing that did require some coordination.  I ran for 2 minutes at 8.5kph (think I got that number right!).  I went home and got ready for work and headed off on the bus.

I got a phone call from Erin at MX who told me that my story wouldn’t run today as Derryn Hinch had his successful liver transplant overnight.  The story will run tomorrow however, I had my photo taken today.  The one the photographer showed me was quite nice so, here’s hoping they pick a good one and not one where I look feral!  I went to the effort of straightening my hair and everything!  She ended up taking the photo outside so my hair went everywhere!  I’ve never felt so vain in all my life worrying about pushing my hair to the side so I look good in the photo! 

So, I’ll obtain a copy of the MX tomorrow and scan whatever they publish and wait for the response (or lack of) with open arms.

Like I’ve said, I’m not encouraging being overweight, I’m just trying to make the point that people should accept those who are and be kind and respect one anothers differences.  I hope that message is conveyed in the article tomorrow.

16 days until the stair climb!  I'm so excited!  The nerves are starting to kick in a bit though.  So far $590 has been raised.  Thank you everyone who has donated :) it's fantastic to have so much support.  Here's the link if you'd like to make a donation - you'll remember it off by heart by the end of the month!

http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=342014&langPref=en-CA

Well, here we have it – a years worth of photos (other than from the side – I started taking them in November). This is me from the front… I love looking at these.  It really shows how far I've come.

And this is me from the side…

I did have my vent... and it was loud!

I start tonight’s blog by saying happy birthday to my Mum :) if it weren’t for her, I would not be here!  I hope you had a wonderful day xo

We went to the Pancake Parlour for Dinner and I think Mum enjoyed herself :) I SO wanted Cottage fries.  It was strange going there and not having them - well, anything other than my protein shake for that matter!  I didn't want to risk eating and not having it go down.

So, today I had my PT.  My Car had other plans. I backed out the drive way and suddenly, there was nothing!  I had to get Brad to push the Car up to the nature strip.  He put some petrol in it and it was right to go.  By that time, I’d already cancelled my PT and reorganised it for tomorrow morning at 6 before work.  My left calf has settled down.  It is not sore at all.  And my blister has gone too so, we’re right to go in just under 7 hours.  Eeek.

I did what I promised I would do and I wrote to MX about their ‘vent your spleen’ section on Friday (I’ll have to scan my copy so that you can have a read).  I sent them the following…

I am fat.  Well, in most people’s eyes I am fatter than fat.  And this time last year, I would have probably been one of the fattest people you’d see as I used to weigh 243 kilograms.  Medically, that makes me ‘super obese’.  And In just under a year, I have lost just over 60 kilograms.  I’m still fat.  And in most people’s eyes, I am still fatter than fat and yes -I am still classified as being ‘super obese’.  I am also a Metro and VLine Passenger and I am also a regular reader of MX and as a result of my weight, I have been victim to countless hurtful and unprovoked attacks.  And so have many other people who are over an ‘acceptable’ size in societies eyes.

Despite the incredible amount of weight that I have lost (and am continuing to lose) , much to some peoples disgust, I take up 1 and a bit of a seat on the train (depends what style of train we’re talking as some seats are bigger than others).  I am fully aware of the fact that I take up a bit more room than others so this is how I do things to accommodate you.  And when I say you, I am referring to those who write into ‘vent your spleen’ whinging about how fat people and how rude, inconsiderate and unthoughtful they are.

I catch the 6.31am VLine train from Melton to North Melbourne and from there I go to Melbourne Central.  I don’t need to start work until 8.30am but I catch the earlier train so that I get a ‘guilt free’ seat.  By saying that, I mean a place that I can sit down without being made to feel bad about taking up that little bit of extra room at a time where there are plenty of seats available.  On the way home, I catch a train from Melbourne Central to North Melbourne and then a train to Melton.  If I can get a ‘guilt free seat’, great.  If not, I stand as I am fully aware that others will get on the train and 2 people can sit down in place of my one.

I’m not one of these fat people who stand to the left side of the escalators – I walk up them and probably faster than most people do!  I make sure that I hold my bag close to my body whilst standing on trains when we’re packed in like a tin of sardines so that others can get past and if the train is too full, I don’t bother getting on at all as once again, I am aware of the fact I take up more room than most. 

I always make sure that I wear headphones in my ears with my music blaring (not too loud for those of you who can’t stand being able to hear other people’s music!) but, loud enough so I can’t hear the snide remarks that are made about my weight by others.  I also go through the big barriers when presenting my ticket so that people don’t laugh at the fact how I only just squeeze through the small one.  I generally get picked on for my weight once a week.  Sometimes more.  And I’ve had enough.

When I catch public transport, my mind isn’t on where I am going or how late the train was – it’s constantly about how I can make others feel comfortable so that in return, I don’t get picked on, bullied or harassed for the fact that I am bigger than most.  So when I read the constant generalised comments in ‘vent your spleen’ like the ones on Friday the 1st of July 2011, I prepare myself for more frequent attacks as for some reason, some people feel as though once this topic is discussed at such length (which it is several times a year), they feel a sense of entitlement (and perhaps they feel empowered) to confront me about my right to be on the train at all.  And it’s not nice.  I shouldn’t have to buy 2 tickets on the train.  Perhaps Metro should make bigger seats?  Maybe we should revert back to the ‘old days’ where one type of person sits in one carriage and others sit in a different one?  Are you starting to get the hint that this is heading along the lines of discrimination? 

I’m not saying that everyone has been bullied into being as courteous as I am but, before picking on someone for their weight, have a think about what might be going through their head.  You don’t know anything about them.  You don’t know why they are like the way they are.  It might be due to a medical reason.  Regardless of the reason as to why they are overweight, they might be like me – they’ve just lost a third of their excess weight so that they can live a little longer and feel a bit healthier and cautious of every move they make to avoid being picked on but, then again, they might not be.  Either way, they have just as much right to be on the train as you do.  And they also have the right to be treated with respect, consideration and equality. 

If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know of my issues that I have regarding Public Transport let alone the fact that I am constantly picked on and bullied for no other reason other than the fact that I am overweight.  I’ve had enough so, that is why I decided to take a stand.

I was contacted by a Journalist at MX and she’s going to write something up.  They’ coming out tomorrow to take a photo and hopefully, it will be in tomorrow’s MX.  I shall grab a copy and scan it for those of you who are not local.  It’s about time someone stood up for people who are overweight.  If someone’s gonna do it, it may as well be me.

As far as I am aware, they’re mentioning a link to my blog and also information on my stair climb which is great as well. 

I’ve been referred to as brave several times today.  It’s not bravery that’s driven me.  It’s the simple fact that I am over being bullied and discriminated against.  Hey, it may not make a difference but who knows.  If people don’t like me taking up one and a tiny bit chairs, perhaps they’d prefer it if I sat on their lap?

And it’s not just people like myself who take up too much room on the train – people with Guitars, surf boards, prams, bikes, cat carriers (sorry, Cozi xo) – there are several different types of people with many reasons as to why they may take up room and then be put in the same box as someone like myself where they should buy an extra ticket as some suggest should happen. 

Stay tuned :)

I shall vent MY spleen...

A few things to write about tonight…

I just got back from the gym.  I did some cross trainer (5 minutes), some walking and some running.  I was running at 8.5kph and I did 6 bursts of it doing each for a minute or so.  I didn’t do as much as what I would have on the cross trainer as I was talking to one of my friends who just got out of Hospital so, I was trying to control my breathing so that I could still speak to him and exercise at the same time!  It worked for about 15 minutes and then I had to go.

The aim of going to the Gym tonight was to see if my calf was still sore.  I have had problems with my left calf since Friday.  It has been aching and cramping up.  Tonight, it ached for about 2 minutes but, after that, it stopped.  It seems fine now.  Fingers crossed to see how I got during my PT in the morning.  I also wanted to get rid of some excess energy.

I actually really enjoy running, I find it challenging, thought consuming and powerful.  I love jumping on the treadmill, bumping the speed up to 8kph and just taking off.  Even if it is just for a minute.  I look forward to when I can do it for a little longer.  I am working my way up to it slowly.  I did manage to get a blister tonight so I’ll have to make sure that I cover that for tomorrow’s PT session.

I’ve had quite a busy day.  I didn’t sleep well last night.  I have a sleep number bed.  It’s fantastic.  It’s comfortable and I mould into it.  It’s great until you can’t find the remote control and because I’ve lost so much weight, I am laying on the wood (the base underneath the inflatable air pockets).  It is starting to hurt my back.  If I was just that bit heavier, it wouldn’t need pumping up.  I shall have to remember to phone them again tomorrow as I can’t sleep on the bed anymore.  I am going to have to go to Charlotte’s bed if I don’t replace the remote control soon.

I have a bone to pick with MX at the moment.  In their Newspaper (which I love dearly), they have a section called ‘vent your spleen’ which is where they invite readers to SMS their comments into the paper.  I have read things from people complaining about someone’s bad breath to the unreliability of Melbourne’s train network.  People comment on the unacceptable volume levels of the ‘young people’s’ iPods and others discuss how rude it is to pick your nails whilst sitting on the bus.  But then there’s the comments about fat people.  They are in there ALL the time. 

I am getting sick of it because today, I got picked on again by 2 separate groups of people at North Melbourne Station.  MX’s ‘vent my spleen’ was populated with comments from people saying how fat people should have to pay for 2 tickets because of the amount of room they take up.  It was saying how fat people are inconsiderate and how they should lose some weight or have to stand to that others can sit down.  I am annoyed at these comments and have contacted MX about it.  It seems by them running these opinions, it has given some members of the public the idea that it’s okay to attack a fat person and demand that they pay for 2 tickets when taking up more than 1 seat. 

For the next 2 weeks, my trains are being replaced by busses.  And guess who is too worried about catching the bus in fear of taking up too much room?  That’s right – me.  The morning isn’t so bad as I’d catch the very early bus so that there was plenty of room for plenty of people (and my bigger than average butt) but, in the afternoon, there is no way I am getting on that bus.  I don’t want to be a victim of an unprovoked attack by someone who is annoyed at the fact that I am taking up a bit more room than what I should.  It’s either Brad comes and picks me up for the next 2 weeks OR I buy 2 tickets to pay for the fact that my butt is big.

I feel as though the comments in MX are unjust and unfair.  I feel that they are quite discriminating and I really wish that they would stop generalising.  Not all fat people are selfish.  Not all of them don’t care about what others are thinking.  Yes, most of us are aware that we are taking up a bit more room than what we should but as you would know by reading this blog, some of them are doing something about it.  I am not losing weight so that others can sit next to me on the bus though however, that would be a bonus :) I am looking forward to when I get some company.

I shall write to MX.  And I shall whinge to them.  I shall take it as far as I can. And I shall continue to fight for the bigger people when I am no longer one of those written about in MX.

18 days until the stair climb!  I’m really looking forward to it now!  This has been a few months in the making.  And now that I think about it, I am not sure that I would have been fit enough to complete it when I first thought of it.  I’m happy that I’ve worked my way up to it.  $540 has been raised online so far.  I am still waiting for the Email to go around work and Genesis have circulated an Email about it as have friends of the gym and friends of friends etc… it’s great to see everyone pitching in!  Thank you all to those who have sponsored this event so far.  I am sure that I can keep the donations board up for a few weeks after the event because I know that I have had some people say that they’ll sponsor me once they’ve seen me do it rather than before hand – I’m up for a challenge (if you haven’t noticed!).  Here’s the link…

http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=342014&langPref=en-CA

Spread the word, peoples :)

It's the weekend - FINALLY!

It’s been an interesting week to say the least.  I’m SO exhausted.  Not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. 

Physically, the calf on my left leg is a bit sore.  When I was walking down the ramp at Sunshine station last night, I had to hold onto the rail!  It was so sore!  It was cramping up over night as well so, I’ll rub some stuff on it tonight in hope of not waking up sore!  I’ll go to the gym tomorrow and have a swim to try and loosen things up a bit.  I must admit, I have given it a good go over the past few weeks.  I’ve gone from walking to running, from stepping to striding and from not being able to catch my breath to being able to control it so that I can do more.  Like I’ve said, I am well on my way to losing my 10 kilos.  If it’s not 10, it will be at least 5 but I’d prefer not to sell myself short! 

Mentally, work has been really, really busy.  I often get into work at 7 or 7.30.  I stay until around about 5.  I am sure I’ve mentioned where I work before – the Child Support Agency.  As you can imagine, I take some rather tough calls at times and when you have a whole day on phones, the chance of several tough calls is high!  From memory, I took around 40 calls on Monday.  Which is a lot.  I also managed to get rid of a fair amount of work done which was good as I’m a bit behind. 

I’ve also been looking for jobs that Brad can apply for.  I forgot how annoying looking for a new job is.  I have been in the public service for 9 years now.  I am blessed that I haven’t had to go through the gruelling task of finding something new other than when I applied for those internal jobs the other day.  It’s exhausting!

Emotionally, I feel I have grown.  I have almost come to a cross roads when it comes to a few aspects in my life.  I guess I should have seen it coming, I guess.  Considering the fact that even though I don’t think I am changing, I’ve realised that I have developed a sense of self confidence and part of that is learning how to stick up for what I believe in and knowing my limitations and the behaviours I’ll tolerate from others around me.  I got called fat yesterday.  It didn’t bother me as much as it normally would.  I just put it behind me and haven’t worried about it as much as I normally would have normally.  I’ve also been able to support my friends a lot more in the past week as I’ve had the emotional reserves available as I am not absorbing so much crap that is insignificant. 

It’s also about time I had some tickets on myself.  I have never had tickets on myself.  And to some, this might be quite overwhelming.  Or annoying.  And they might not be sure how to deal with my positive attitude toward life or myself.  And I could do a whole blog on this topic as it’s something that each one of my friends who have experienced dramatic changes in their life have gone through so, this is something I’ll touch on in a few weeks when I have the right words. 

Yes, I do analyse things – sometimes one of my downfalls but, hey, at least I understand myself!

20 days until the stair climb.  I have a bit of work to do!  I’ve been concentrating on what I have been eating over the past few days and I am not having any alcohol this month (I am not a big drinker anyway but, I don’t need the extra Kilojoules).  It’s been hard today as it feels as though there is something stuck in my band.  Things are going down okay but it feels like something is not quite right.  It’s not sore, it’s just uncomfortable.  And very irritating! 

I’ve had a great day.  I went out shopping this morning with Callum (Lachie is at Mum and Dad’s), I saw Trishy for a while which was nice and then we went for a little drive.  We fed some ducks and I chased (yes, chased) the kids around the oval.  It was fun.  And I felt a little more refreshed afterwards.

Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend :)

Blog for 30.6.2011 - blog spot would only let me publish it this morning!

I am EXHAUSTED but feeling really good!  I had my PT session today at 11.30.  Michael warned me when I got there that he had a gruelling session planned. 

He got me to go up the stairs ten times and then he got me to do a minute of running the treadmill.  I did this 5 times over.  Ouch.  It was really good.  I made it and was impressed by my determination.  Especially when I told him to bump the treadmill up to make it a bit faster because I wasn’t as puffed as I’d expect!  When I checked, I was running at 8.5kph.  I am not sure if this is the fastest I have done since I have started to run.

I feel quite tired and a little bit achy.  I am so happy that I almost seemed to ‘breeze’ through the session.  I gave it everything I’ve got.  The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I got a bit of asthma however, given the fact that I didn’t have my preventer this morning.

I was so proud of my achievement.  I am still stoked at the fact that I wouldn’t have dreamed of being able to do, I can. 

I took a photo of me and my work pass last night.  I look like a totally different person.  This photo was taken back in March last year.  It’s amazing to see the change.

23 days until the stair climb!  And today is your last chance to get in if you want the deduction on your tax for 10/11!  I have raised $420 so far.  It’s great to have so much support.  Here’s the link…

http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=342014

I applied for 3 internal jobs at work today.  This is something that I would not have had the confidence to do this time last year.  I’m not sure how I’ll go – even if I don’t get an interview, I am proud of myself for applying for them.  I do enjoy my job but I feel as though I could contribute more than what I am to the organisation that I work for. 

Life is what you make of it.  I’m just realising that.  What you put into it is what you get out of it.  And once you get a taste of personal success, nothing can stop you if you don’t want it to.