Sunday, December 4, 2011

The end to an awesome week

I've had an amazing weekend.  It's been one that I won't forget for a while.

I actually had to search back through my blog to find something I wrote at a very low point in my journey.  It was when I had visited my Mum and was going to see a friend.  I needed to use her car but I couldn't use it as I didn't fit into it.  Well, I fit into it but, I couldn't do the seat belt up, the steering wheel wouldn't move as it was jammed into my stomach.  I was distraught.  Here's the link if you're interested in reading what happened that night... it was on the 22nd of October 2010.

Anyway, I went to a friend's welcome home party on Friday night.  I caught the train from work to Mum's (the party was held at the Dorset Gardens Hotel).  I was a bit hesitant to ask Mum if I could borrow her Car.  All I could could think of was what happened last year.  Against my better judgement, I asked her (knowing she'd say yes, of course!) but wasn't too sure if I'd fit. 

When I was ready to go, I grabbed the keys and my date for the evening (Lachie!) and walked out to the driveway with Mum following close behind.

You might be reading this Mum and I say this with all due respect and love but, Mum is a tiny bit challenged in the vertical sense.  She is rather short and I know when Dad drives her car, her normally pushes the seat back as his legs are too long to fit.  I looked at where the seat was positioned and it looked okay so I thought I'd sit in it and adjust it from there.  I took a deep breath and plonked myself down.  There was plenty of room everywhere!  Even the seat belt had some slack.  I asked Lachie to wind his window down and I asked Mum if she had moved her seat back knowing I'd be getting in.  She said no and was amazed to hear that no adjustments (other than the mirror and radio station) had to be made.  As I reversed, Mum was nearly in tears.  Callum was standing next to her.  I told her not to cry as I'd start to cry as well.  Lachie couldn't believe it.  And neither could I. 

I know that not all of you reading this have had the same problem as me (I'm referring to not being able to fit in a car) but it's one of the most embarrassing, awkward moments.  It's when you realise how big you've gotten and you try not to think about it.  Mum's car isn't a small car either.  It's a Camry.  And when I read my blog entry from October last year, that moment where I didn't fit in the car - just like the moment on Friday night when I did don't seem real.

I know my Mum is proud of me for a number of reasons but I think on Friday night, when I backed out and she had her hands over her face, I knew it was due to amazement rather than worrying about if I was going to back into their letterbox. 

I guess I haven't really had a good hard think about how much I have changed physically.  Sure, I can see it in photos but until I sat in that car, I had no idea.  I've realised that at the moment, I don't even really know who I am at the moment.  I'm a work in progress.  And that is comforting in one way but also scary in another.  I guess I'm free falling.  But in a good way.

It was wonderful to catch up with an old School mate at the party I went to on Friday night.  We haven't seen one another for 19 years!  It was wonderful to see her and speak about old times and catch up on some goss.  I can see us having a few wines together in the coming months to reminisce! 

My eating this week has been really good.  I've done so well.  I've had a few shakes at the times when I haven't been hungry.  My headache has come and gone a few different times during the week and I've done quite well on the drinking water front as well. 

I've been finding that some foods go down really well and on other days, they just don't happen.  I enjoyed a piece of toast yesterday morning and made a delicious Lasagna last night packed full of vegetables and I was able to eat a small piece.

I've been putting much thought to my 100kg party.  I am planning for it to be around about March or April.  I am not sure what to do and have had some wonderful thoughts.  I want to celebrate my success.  I'll also do something when I have lost all of my weight.  Still not sure what!
I went for a walk tonight to get some fresh air.  I've been lucky enough to have my house to myself this afternoon.  I caught up on some much needed sleep. Off to work tomorrow.  I have a very busy week ahead! 

Hope everyone is well xo


  1. I have just read your entry for today and am in tears. Wow. You are amassing an have come so far.

  2. A 'tiny bit challenged in the vertical sense', am I? I suppose I have to freely admit to this. Just be glad Dad is over 6'1" or you would be too! I DID cry when you backed out because I realised in that moment just how far you've come. Proud of you, Steph. Love you to bits.

  3. I had a great time catching up with you too!!! Bring on the wine :) you continue to be an inspiration Steph!!!! Jo Page xx