Trigger warning - suicide

Trigger warning – this blog speaks at length about suicide.

Suicide.  We need to talk about it.  It needs to be a word we say and not hide from.  It’s not an easy topic to talk about.  There’s nothing nice about it.  Nothing happy.  Nothing easy and sure as hell not something anyone wants to speak about but it needs to happen.  Something must be done in order to make sure that people who are feeling this way know that there is help, that there is support and that there are people who are willing and able to have a discussion at any time they need to.  

I’ve had this chat with a few people tonight and the reaction has been the same – they struggled to get into the conversation as it’s uncomfortable to do but once they realised they were safe in speaking about it, we were able to have some really robust discussions about how they would help someone who approached them saying that they wanted to take their life.  Some people knew exactly what they would do and other people weren’t sure about how they would mange the issue.  And how would you manage the issue if you yourself weren't feeling okay?

It was interesting to hear that having a conversation about preventing suicide was something that they would prefer to avoid but when faced with realisation that one day they may receive a call that someone they loved has taken their own life, they will naturally question what more they could have done.  Often there’s nothing more that could have been done but if there was some kind of knowledge that could be shared to facilitate these discussions to make them as gentle as possible, would they have wanted to have the opportunity to have been part of such a conversation?

I’m not suggesting that we all go out and become trained suicide counsellors – not at all.  I am of the strong belief that we need to start speaking about it more so that we are more comfortable in having the conversation.  Every time I see a news story that speaks about the loss of a life due to suicide, they gloss over the topic.  They don’t mention the word.  Why?  There are a few reasons.  Firstly due to the fact that it can trigger people.  They’re also not able to choose who watches the story – the news isn’t always PG rated.  There is also a phenomenon called the Werther effect which essentially is where it is suggested there is an association between media reporting on suicides and subsequent suicides that follow. 

I found a really interesting paper that covers the issue in depth (being a Uni girl, I’ll ensure I cite it correctly!).  Domaradzki (2021) examined the Werther effect in depth (the Werther effect means extensive and emotionally charged coverage of suicides – especially those of celebrities – can lead to an increase in suicidal behaviour in the general population).  The outcome of the review was interesting – it found that the way the media reports on suicide directly affects suicide rates.  It also shows that the media can either increase the risk of suicide or help prevent it – depending on how the subject is handled.  If reporting is responsible and follows best practices, it can help education, reduce stigma, encourage people to seek help and prevent further suicides.  With this in mind, I am still unsure as to why they can’t stipulate what Lifeline does and why they are sharing their number.  It also makes me wonder why they aren’t sharing the suicide call back service which is more preferable to call if you are needing someone to answer quicker.

I don’t know what the solution to the problem is.  I just know that my heart breaks for everyone impacted by it.  I know that I’ve been able to help a lot of people over the years by sharing the things that I have experienced when it’s come to my mental health.  And I hope that this is no different.  I know what it feels like to be there as I survived 2 attempts when I was a Teenager.  I haven’t attempted since I’ve been an Adult but there have been 2 times where I have been close and both times I was in Hospital and I’d chosen to be admitted a few days prior as I could feel that I was going downhill very fast.  The last time was late last year.  

It’s hard to describe what it’s like.  How it feels when you're there.  It’s intense.  It’s not somewhere anyone wants to be.  Ever.  No one is immune.  It doesn’t discriminate.  But we can help each other by getting better at knowing how to talk about it, knowing how to respond, knowing how to act and knowing that just being there for someone sitting in that moment with them can mean more than anyone will ever know.  Let’s be honest – those who have depression or suicidal ideation often get put into the category of someone who is negative, depressed or toxic.  It can be hard to deal with someone when they are down but I personally find it hard to let them drown on their own.  Let’s end the stigma and save lives.

Here are a few helpful resources that you may wish to refer to - 

https://lifelinedirect.org.au/newengland/news/how-to-talk-about-suicide

https://www.suicidepreventionaust.org/news/safe-language/

https://www.mhfa.com.au/how-to-talk-about-suicide-your-words-matter/

https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/suicide/helping-others/

If you are struggling and need someone to talk to, please reach out to your local crisis support service and know you're not alone even if you feel like you are xo 

If you're in Australia, you can contact - 

Suicide call back service - 1300 659 467 - https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/

Lifeline - 13 11 14 - https://www.lifeline.org.au/

Domaradzki, J. (2021). The Werther effect, the Papageno effect or no effect? A literature review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(5), 2396. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18052396