Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I think I've finally got it together :) I did say I think...

Sometimes things just click.  I can't explain it.  You wake up one day and you know that the day is different to the one that has passed.  You know that something is different but you can't put your finger on it.  It's the feeling of getting your mojo back.  The fire deep inside has started to burn again and you're ready to tackle whatever obstacle that is in front of you - in my case, a 100kg obstacle.  My last lot of weight. 

When I look at it, I am no longer disgusted by it like I was 18 months ago.  I am intrigued by its shape and its texture.  I like how it's all spongy and no longer firm.  I don't mind the wobbles and bumps and dimples anymore.  In actual fact, compared to what I used to feel like and look like - I look amazing and am finally starting to get some shape.  It's strange how it's hard to say goodbye.  But I've held onto it for long enough - especially this last few months where I have been at a stand still.

This morning, I realised that it's time. I woke up at 5.  Had a bowl of cereal.  I got to work and had my Coffee, had some Chicken and Rice for lunch.  I was in a rush for dinner but for the first time in God knows how long, I checked how many kilojoules there is in the thousand island dressing I intended putting on my salad.  I declined the 'potato boulder' as they call them (deep fried on the outside and soft and mushy in the middle) and I just took the chicken breast off my plate, chopped it up with some tomatoes cucumber and enjoyed every single bite of it.

Tonight, I also went to the Gym and signed up for 7 days to see how I go.  I am trying to work out when the best time is for me to get my exercise in is.  I don't want it to interrupt my family life but I know how important it is for me to do.  I love being at home with the Kids when I get home as I don't even see them when I leave in the morning but if I get up at 5am, go to the Gym and get to the Station by 6.20 then I'll be able to fit my work out in before I leave for work.  I think this is the best way.  We'll see how it goes.  But tomorrow, I'm looking forward to going in and shocking my heart rate monitor into gear and starting back on the Journey that I started almost 2 years ago.

I wish whatever I had I could bottle.  I'd store some away for the times when they get tough.  I might even market it so that others can benefit from how I'm feeling.  I'm happy that it's come back.  And it couldn't come at a better time.  In 2 days, I stand on those scales and I'll have a moment of truth.  And instead of feeling resentful toward my band and my journey like I did 2 days ago, I'm excited and ready to jump back on and give it all I've got.  It's 100kg.  Once it's gone, it's gone.  Once it's gone, I can see what I've got left to work with.  And I'll feel more amazing than I feel now.  And when I look in the mirror, I'll see someone I don't recognise just like I do now.

On Thursday when I get back to work after my fill, I'll take my 'Miss September' shot and post it up on here.  I'll also take my measurements that night and shall reveal the figure that is proof that I have been in a good paddock for the past few months.  I'm hoping it's not too high but I won't beat myself up if it is.

I can honestly say that for the first time in a long time I'm pumped.  Bring it on!

And I'd like to thank you all for your support.  It means the world to me.

Steph xo

1 comment:

  1. Steph, I don't know what it is either, but, whatever you do, don't, after a month or so, get so self-congratulatory that you do a backslide like I did.

    Ooooh, ooooh, look how much I've lost! Said me, and then proceeded to go back to the unhealthy foods and ways that had been the previous habit.