30 something days...

That's how long it has taken me to decide that I will never use social media in the way I used to use it.  

Although I enjoyed the break that I had, I missed out on seeing what everyone was up to.  I missed the good stuff - Weddings, babies, graduations, first steps but I didn't miss having to see an ad every second or third post or seeing things that may have a negative impact on my mood.  It took me a while to get used to not sharing some of the things that I normally would such as yummy meals, gorgeous sunsets, my random thoughts or pics of my doggies but I started to begin to appreciate these moments without worrying about my phone.  It was refreshing.  

I've managed to get a lot of unpacking done.  My garage is looking amazing!  I've taken a few things to the tip but have enjoyed looking through the boxes that have been packed for 4 years as there were a lot of surprises in there!  It's been nice to get pictures up on the walls, candles on the table and start thinking about what other bits and pieces I want out.  We moved from a house half the size of where we are now so things are going to look a bit empty for a while until we fill it up!  I'm looking forward to seeing the results. 

Over the last 2 weeks, my energy levels have depleted.  They are non existent!  I went and got a blood test and the results came back indicating that my iron is incredibly low so I'm having my first ever Iron infusion on Monday! I am not excited as I can't stand needles but I am really looking forward to feeling the results of the boost.  It's been tough feeling like I'm just existing!  My ESR is quite high which makes sense due to the fact I have chronic fatigue syndrome. 

I'm currently in Hospital having TMS.  I've been in for 2 nights but am going home tomorrow (I was only in for 5 treatments).  I have also had an increase in my medication which has resulted in a massive headache but should help with my anxiety levels.  Mentally I feel quite good (knock on wood).  I present as though I am depressed as I am so lethargic and just lay around like a Sloth.

I have started writing a book!  2 books actually. I've also been doing a lot of reading.  I stopped reading for pleasure when I was at Uni as I always felt like my head was so full of information but since I graduated, I've been able to get back into reading.  I bought myself a Kindle 12 months ago and I love it! I think my favourite thing is not being able to see how big a book is so that I'm not deterred by it!  

I've enjoyed catching up with some of my friends over the last month.  I've been back to being out and about for a while now but to see people I haven't seen in ages brings me so much joy.  A few of my Teacher friends and I are catching up during the School Holidays when they aren't as hectic as they are now.  I look forward to the month ahead.

I've been going to Pole once a week and have commenced Personal Training again.  I am having my second session with my PT on Monday.  I'm focussing on anything other than cardio at the moment due to my energy levels so weights it is!  I've also started Yoga again.

That's pretty much me!  When I read back, it makes me wonder how I have time to be on Socials because I really don't! 

Seat belts and Puff the magic Wagon

Seat belt – two words that used to make me break out into a sweat because up until a few years ago, they didn’t fit me.  In fact, when I was at my biggest, I wasn’t able to fit behind the wheel of a loan car that I was provided with when mine was being repaired.  I broke out into more than a sweat on that day – I remember crying – full on ugly crying.  It was nothing compared to the feeling I’d get when I was pulled over by the Police for not wearing a seat belt and I had to explain the reason why I wasn’t wearing one along with producing a medical certificate to substantiate my claims.  I soon discovered an array of seat belt extenders on Ebay.  I needed to link 2 together on a few occasions (depending on the Car) but eventually that changed to one and then a few years ago, I waved goodbye to my extenders. 

Ubers, work cars, friend’s cars, loan cars, buses, trucks (if you’re lucky enough to need a tow like I did at one point!) – there were so many occasions where I had to explain to people why I wasn’t wearing a seat belt or why I declined a lift.  It never got easier.  It was just another reminder that the world is only made for a certain size (something that needs to change!) and would be a daily reminder that I’d gotten to that point.  I was also aware that should I ever need an Ambulance, I needed to let them know that I required a ‘bariatric ambulance’ because the time I did need one, I had to climb into the Ambulance rather than being pushed in on the bed because I was too heavy.

When my mate Dave asked me to do the ShitBox rally with him, even though I haven’t needed an extender for several years I almost went into my spiel of ‘I’d love to but it’s unlikely the seat belt will fit’ but instead I asked him ‘where do I sign?’.  There is NO WAY I would have been able to manage such a quest even 12 months ago.  It’s not just about driving from Alice Springs to the Gold Coast in a car worth less than $1,500 – I’ll need to be physically able to do all the things to really enjoy the experience!  This is gearing up to be one of my biggest non scale victories to date.  The ShitBox rally raises money and awareness for the Cancer Council.  We need to raise $5,000 to take part — with the first milestone of $2,500 due yesterday (urgh).

Normally I’m the one people go to when it comes to raising funds!  I raised close to $5,000 for the Cancer Council when I climbed the 46 floors of the Melbourne Central Tower and I’ve been able to raise around $3,000 over the years that I’ve participated in Relay for Life.  This time has been a bit tougher — I’ve been dealing with some mental health stuff, and it’s made it harder to get into gear fundraising-wise.  I know times are tough but if you’re in a position to donate, please click here - https://spring2025.shitboxrally.com.au/puff-the-magic-wagon and if you’re not able to donate, sharing this post and spreading the word about the Rally will be very helpful!

We have a Bunnings BBQ coming up in September, we are holding a Market Stall on Saturday (eeek!), we’ve got Cadbury fundraising boxes on the go, a pie drive… we’ve been busy doing a few things but if you have any ideas that you’d like to share, feel free!  We’d appreciate your help!

I'm still alive!

Hello!  I am still here!  And I am absolutely loving my break from social media.  It's also made me see how much I really needed one.

The first day was really strange.  I kept picking up my phone to check on things.  I am not sure what I was checking on but I picked it up anyway!  I also picked up my phone a lot to take photos of things to share on my Insta stories.  I ended up getting so many things done.  I cleaned, unpacked boxes, took the Dogs for a walk.  I actually began to wonder how I've actually managed to find time to be on it anyway?  I haven't had time.  I've just been doing what I can to avoid facing a lot of the stuff that I haven't wanted to front up to.  I also feel as though I'd stopped trying as hard as I could.  

I actually slept so well on the first night.  I thought that perhaps I had cured my chronic fatigue syndrome (I'm totally kidding - I know that there is no way that would happen!) but the second night showed me that nope, it is still there and it's alive and well.

The last few days have felt as though I am on school camp.  There are so many new activities to do and things to explore!  It's a really strange way of putting things but that is really the only way I can describe it.  I've been doing a lot of reading, relaxing, exercising, spending time with my creatures and cooking.  Today I've hit a wall and haven't done much at all but I needed a day off.

One thing I've really enjoyed is the fact that I have more time to connect with those around me.  It's been good to have a little less anxiety and worry to focus my energy on.  I've been looking out the window when we go for a drive and I've been seeing things that I have never noticed before.  I know these things probably sound really stupid but it's probably been my favourite thing over the last few days - the fact that I have the time to pay attention to the things that really mater to me.