A month goes by so fast!

Once again, I had no idea I had abandoned my blog for so long!  I have so much to catch up on!

Where to start?  Firstly, I have continued to stick to my clean eating lifestyle.  It's been 66 days since I started and I haven't looked back.  I saw my weight loss surgeon last week (Jason Winnett).  Jason advised me I haven't seen him for 2 years.  It was great to catch up with him and let him know how I'm tracking.  He was impressed that I had quit sugar and that I was giving my struggle with weight loss another push.  He weighed me (my scales are 1kg out in comparison to his) and wrote out a slip for me to go and have .5ml in my band.  I'll do that in mid January.  As I said, I don't have much fill in at all which means I've been doing it on my own (well, mostly).  He also wrote me another referral to see the Plastic Surgeon.  I'm seeing him in February next year and I can't wait to hear what he has to say (more on that in a moment).  I am seeing Jason at the end of January.  I am aiming to lose as much as I can in that time.  Now that Christmas is over, I have a fighting chance! 

Christmas fruit platter

Jason said that he believes my fat (fatty apron/overhang - whatever you call it but I call it fat!) weighs anywhere between 15 - 20kg.  He was surprised to hear that I am able to do as much as I can with it.  I can't wait for it to go as it really impacts my mobility.  It is almost down to my knees and has dropped so much more in the last few years.  It doesn't hurt my back unless I am standing for long periods of time.  It is also very heavy.  I don't mind answering questions about it so if you have any, fire away.  Someone asked me the other day how I do stuff at the gym with it.  I just do.  When I'm using the bike or the leg press, it just 'sits' between my legs.  I've started wearing bike pants under all of my clothes which helps secure it a bit.  I know some people when they have plastic surgery feel quite sad about it as it's part of them.  I don't feel like this is part of me.  It's the aftermath of excessive weight gain and then loss.  It's an inconvenience and a hassle and aside from all of the practical things I'll be able to do (cross my legs like a lady, use the exercise bike, not have to worry about checking it every day for sores), I'll be able to wear jeans and pants!  At the moment, jeans won't go over it.  Elasticated loose pants do but they look awful.  I haven't worn pants anywhere other than the gym since I took that photo of myself at the gym when I first started back.  I am very conscious of it.

I did have a few days off over Christmas but in saying that I didn't exceed my calorie intake.  I am the first to admit that I am NOT perfect and last night I was craving pizza so I ordered some.  I had a slice which is good for me as I didn't have the whole thing but what I've come to learn is that it's okay to have a piece of pizza - it's not okay to eat the whole thing!  Everything in moderation and there is no guilt associated with my choice.  It wasn't an emotional choice, it was simply because I wanted it and because I could!  

I've continued to see my personal trainer (Ivan) every week.  I didn't see him on Boxing Day but I'll get right back into it in the New Year.  I've also continued to go the gym at least 5 times a week.  I headed back there today for the first time since before Christmas and I can't tell you how much I missed it.  It was great to be back and continue to smash my goals.  I went on the cross trainer today and managed to get 1.06km in 10 minutes - one of my first recorded efforts back on the 31.10.2017 was .71km in 10 minutes.  I am kicking goals.

Me at the gym today - 28.12.2017

One of my sessions with Ivan

Another of my sessions with Ivan.  This one was a killer!

Recently I've discovered the joy in not giving a f*ck about what others think.  I find it liberating to head to the gym in bike pants because I know I'll be more comfortable rather than wearing tracksuit pants simply to cover up for Joe Blow because I'm worried about offending them.  So the other day when I was at the beach and didn't have a towel or any spare clothes and the twins wanted me to swim with them, I thought 'f*ck it' and stripped down to my underwear and went out in the water with them!  They loved every minute of it and I embraced being able to have that moment with them.  I normally watch from the sidelines which isn't like me when it comes to water.  I'm over being alive but not living.  I am so pleased that I can see that is slowly changing.  This is because I am starting to feel better about myself and why shouldn't I?  I've lost almost 60kg since I began my weight loss journey back in 2010 but I've lost 10.3kg in the last 3 months.  I'm very pleased with my results.  I'd love for others to stop worrying about what people think and start living for themselves rather than living for others.  Like that top?  Buy it.  Want to wear those pants?  Wear them.  If you'r'e comfortable in them, why not?  Want to go swimming?  Do it!  Stop letting the thoughts of others worry you.  We are only here once - live your life the fullest with no regrets.

Beach with my babies - 26.12.2017

Whilst I have the floor at the moment, I wanted to touch on something that really grinds my gears!  People who don't let those who have had weight loss surgery be proud of their achievements.  These sorts of people have no idea of the weight loss journey that belongs to someone who has undergone surgery.  I know for me it was something I HAD to have or else I would have died.  I am a member of a Facebook weight loss group where if you have had weight loss surgery, your success isn't celebrated the same way as what the loss of other's is.  If you dare post about your success and someone questions you on if you've had weight loss surgery or not and you answer yes, your post is removed and quit often you will be as well.  I sent an email to the 'powers that be' (the ones who run the group) sharing my story and asking them to allow those who have had weight loss surgery to be able to feel good about their achievements rather than shaming or silencing them but I am still waiting for an acceptable response.  They are obviously ignorant into the work that myself and others have to put in even after having surgery.  Having surgery will only do so much - it's the diet, exercise and tears that does the rest.  I go to the gym just as much (if not more) than someone who hasn't had weight loss surgery!  I'm also losing less than some people who haven't had weight loss surgery!  How does my surgery give me an advantage over others AND prevent me from being able to share my success with others.  I shall write more about this in the coming weeks as it's something that makes my blood boil!  

2018 is around the corner - I want to wish every single one of you good health, love and happiness.  

See you on the other side <3 3="" font="">