Today...

I started blogging last night and the title of the blog was 'tomorrow' but, I didn't get the chance to finish it so, it is now titled 'today'.

Today, I have started back on my shakes.  I am going to do it for the next few weeks to cleanse after my 5 weeks of not counting KJ.  I've already said this in one of my previous blogs but, I feel like crap and I put a lot of that down to the fact that I haven't been concentrating on what I've been eating.  I haven't been exercising.  I have been a lazy fat Cow which is one of the reasons I got to where I did in the first place.

Whilst I write this, I am sipping on my Optifast.  It's going to be a challenge.  When I think back to this time last year, I'd been on Optiast for 6 weeks in preperation for my Surgery.  It was such a difficult time but, at the start of it, I felt good.  I had more energy, I was hungry but I was able to fight off the cravings and I didn't have any 'sugar hang overs' which is one thing I've had a few of in the last few weeks.

I celebrate my bandversary on Thursday next week :) and I see Dr Winnett the day before.  I have to have my Barium swallow this Friday and fingers crossed that everything is okay so that I can have a fill.  I have missed restriction.  And although I have enjoyed being able to eat a vast array of foods over the past 6 weeks, I have had more than what I should have and haven't always selected the right foods and having restriction helps that.  That's why I'm a bandit. 

I weighed myself today.  I was 176kg.  Hmmm.  Not terribly impressed.  I was 168kg when I saw Dr Winnett on the 21st of September.  I know my scales weigh differently to his but, they do give me an indication of how much I have put on.  I am on a mission to shead at least 2 kilograms before my appointment with him next Wednesday!  I wonder if he'll tell me off?  I'm not disapponted in myself.  I'm just amazed at how much I've put on.  And now looking forward to getting rid of it and getting back into the 160s again.  It won't take me long.  And I'm happy that I'm back on track today. 

I'll go for a walk today and may even go to the gym. 

I'd had to go back through all of my blogs and count the number of times that I've said I'm back on track now but, this is all part of someone who is in my situation.  It's been a lifetime of hopping on and off the wagon.  All in all, I've done well.  Better than what I ever thought I would.  I'm looking forward to putting my 'this time last year' photo and my 'today' photo together on the 17th of November.  That's when I'll notice a difference.

Even though I have been a fat Cow over the past 6 weeks, I"m proud of me :) and can't wait to see what the next 12 months bring :)