Surgery date set - 21.2.2012

So, the verdict is in...

I saw Dr Winnett today.  He told me that my pouch is enlarged, that I may have a hiatus hernia and he needs to check to see if I have erosion from the band.  I am still very much in pain and am taking strong pain killers.  I am trying to limit the amount that I am taking as they make me feel woozy and they also cause constipation.  I had not lost weight, in fact, I had put on 1 kilogram.  He said not to beat myself up about this and I haven't and he explained to me why I wouldn't have lost weight.  I understood but, it's still annoying to be at a total stand still with my weight considering I have been pretty good.

I suppose I need to take one day and one thing at at time.  First thing is first - I have a gastroscopy tomorrow to see what is going on inside my stomach.  This will give him an idea of what he is working with when I have the revision surgery.  He will be replacing the band but the port doesn't need to be touched.  He didn't remove any fluid today as I'd had 2ml removed yesterday.  He did say that he would be happy too however, if I am in pain tomorrow, I will ask him to do it although I haven't noticed a reduction in pain since the 2ml has been taken out.  I can't eat but I can keep fluids down.  Smoothies are on my list of things to eat for the next few weeks. 

One good thing about this surgery, I don't need to go on OptiFast!  Yay! 

I've had some mixed reactions to having to have a surgery revision.  Some people have said not to go through with it and to have gastric bypass or a gastric sleeve.  Others have suggested to have the band taken out all together.  I suppose I'll say this here and now and it's something I've said before and have no problems in admitting...

If it weren't for getting the band, I don't believe I'd be here.  I would have kept on eating.  I wouldn't have stopped.  I would have either died or gotten to 300kg.  I would have gotten to a point where I couldn't walk, where the palpitations would get worse, I would have continued to not be able to do up my shoes, not be able to get into the car, not be able to fit in the shower, break chairs and beds.  I wouldn't have been able to sit on Mum and Dad's antique chairs.  There are so many things that I am able to do now that I have lost this weight (almst 90kg) and I know that if I had the band removed, I would put all the weight back on again.  I'd like to think that I wouldn't but I know that I would.

In regard to having gastric sleeve - it is something that has worked wonders for many of my friends and it is something that I will consider if I have any more problems with the lap band.  Dr Winnett doesn't do gastric sleeve so it would be something that I would have to find another Doctor to consult with.  It also may end up that I would have to have the band taken out and then a few weeks later have the sleeve done.  As it is, having this surgery is going to result in me having to take 1 - 2 weeks off work and I want to reduce the amount of time that I have to have off as a result of my band and any problems that I may encounter.

I asked Dr Winnett for a number for a Psychologist today and I'll give her a call tomorrow to make an appointment.  She sounds lovely.  I am looking forward to dealing with the issues and why I am the way I am.  It is something that I am going to have to work through this.  I know this but, it is something that I look forward to fixing.  It's not just my physical self that needs fixing, it's also my mental.  I did buy that book that someone suggested as well which is called 'eating in the light of the moon'.  I look forward to getting it.  I also have a few books that I am going to read whilst I have my week off.  I suppose after having the surgery done, it is back to basics.  I will follow my 'knife, fork, band' book.  I am happy that I know what to expect.  Dr Winnett said that he has to operate a little longer than what he did the first time but other than that, the recovery is about the same.

I also know that it is a lot safer for me to be operated on now.  I was so scared before about death.  The possibility was very high.  I am not so worried now.  I also know that once this is done, I can start the journey again and strive to have fantastic results.  I am a bit worried as my scars were healing quite well.  I did mention my concerns to Dr Winnett about the fact that this is going to put my bikini modelling career on hold for a further few years but he did assure me that with a bit of assistance from Bio Oil, I'd be back on track in no time.  I shall hold him to that.

I'll make sure that I drive to work for the first few weeks - I don't want to be on a peak hour train only to have someone jab their brief case into my wound.  That would hurt. 



I shall let you know how I go tomorrow after my Gastroscopy.

Thank you for all your support xo