A panni what?

'A panniculectomy is when a pannus is surgically removed. A pannus is excess skin and adipose tissue, sometimes referred to as an apron that hangs down over ones genitals and/or thighs'.

I'd like to talk all things fatty apron/lower stomach/hanging stomach/tummy below belly button or as I call it, my fat.  Here's a before and after picture of someone's fat removal.  Obviously mine is a bit more excessive but you'll get what I'm talking about...

If you know me (or even if you don't) it's not secret that my fat hangs quite low.  The more weight I lose, the lower my fat hangs.  The lower my fat hangs, the harder it is for me to do certain things.  For example, my fat rubs against the steering wheel of my car, I find it hard to put shoes on as it gets in the way, I can't use one of the exercise bikes at the gym (the one where you are slightly laying down) as my fat gets in the way, I can't use the rowing machine, I find it really awkward to do certain stretches, my movement is restricted as my fat just hangs and gets in the way, I hate wearing pants as then it is clear how big my fat actually is - this is not an exhaustive list but you get the point.

The other thing that concerns me is getting an infection.  I ended up with a boil some years ago that turned into cellulitis.  I ended up in hospital for 10 days.  The boil ended up spreading all the way across my fat underneath my belly button and it was very infected.  The plastic surgeon wanted to operate on me and 'grate' my infection to encourage new skin to grow.  It had to be dressed in gauze that had been soaked in Betadine 3 times a day.  I spent a fair bit of time on morphine for the pain as it was that bad.  I almost died as I had septicaemia.  It was not fun. 

So ever since yesterday when Dr Winnett indicated that he felt that I would benefit from having the surgery when I'd lost another 20kg, I have been paying attention to my fat and how much it actually does get in my way and stop me doing things and after monitoring it for 24 hours, I would love to get rid of it and I'm going to work just that little bit harder to lose the weight so I can maybe look at having it done in the next 6 - 12 months.

A mixture of emotions come up when I think about it.  I feel happy as I'll be able to wear jeans, yoga pants and other types of clothing that simply don't fit due to my fat.  I feel disappointed in myself for letting myself get so big that's resulted me to require surgery like this.  I'm scared as I've done a bit of research into it and I read words like drains, no showers - only baths and blood clots.  I also worry about dying (I always worry about dying before any type of surgery).  Then I think about how free I'll feel without it.  I'll be able to do things I can't do now and I'll wonder why I didn't do it sooner.

I'm going to take some photos of my fat (I won't share them until it's gone) as I want to be able to compare before and after shots.  The results will be amazing.  I need to remember that at the same time I think about some of the things I'm nervous about.

I found this article about this lady in the UK.  She was my starting weight (minus a few kilograms).  I found it very inspiring :) her fat (she named it Fred) weighed 19kg) which makes me wonder how heavy mine is.  It feels like it's about 10kg.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2539219/Woman-lost-22st-gastric-bypass-surgery-3st-excess-SKIN-removed-including-solid-lump-stomach-nicknamed-Fred.html

If you have had this surgery and are happy to share your experience with me, please get in touch.  You can email me at movingforwardlookingforward@gmail.com or inbox me at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward