17.12.2013. This is the date that I last updated my blog and in that time, so many things have changed and I'm not even sure where to start!
If you are one of my regular readers, you would have noticed that I slowly dropped off the face of the planet, never to be seen again! Once I've finished typing this, I'll respond to the many emails I've received in the past 577 days. Although many things have changed during that time, a few remain the same. I'm still fat, I still want to lose weight and just like right at the beginning of my journey back in July 2010, I once again have a desire to tackle one of the biggest (no pun intended) challenges in my life - tackling my weight.
I've been thinking about this for the past few weeks and I'd like to talk about the reasons I have decided that it's time. It's not because that man called me a 'fat c**t' the other week, it's not because I quite often feel as though I shouldn't leave the house due to comments I see made to women who are smaller than me from people who are fat shaming bullies nor is it because I'm not happy in my own skin. The main reason is quite simple - I have a sore knee!
I have noticed in the past few months that my left knee is aching after I've climbed a few stairs or been sitting for a long time. I signed up to a gym last night and I went there tonight for the first time in a few years. I did Aqua Aerobics. I did this class for a few reasons but mainly because it would offer me a low impact workout and I'd also be able to identify where my sore points are and yep, my left knee and ankle are most certainly sore. I have decided that I may go on shakes for a few weeks to lose 15 kilograms or so I can then work out to my full potential. I haven't yet worked out my plan of attack yet but I shall conjure up something.
I also know that exercising is going to not only help with my physical health but also my mental health. During my journey, I have touched slightly on my 'quirks' and I'll talk about them in more depth over the next few months. I don't need a study to show that I feel better when I've been exercising and when I'm looking after myself. I was on cloud 9 when I was at my peak a few years ago. Over time, I look forward to getting back there.
I purchased a FatBit last week (I know, I know - it's really a FitBit but I'm not fit yet!) and I haven't done anything different since purchasing it so I wasn't really shocked that not once have I met my 10,000 steps goal. This must change! If you want to add me as a friend the FitBit app, my Email address is movingforwardlookingforward@gmail.com
A bit about me (for those who don't know!), I'm 35. I have 4 children aged 16, 14 and twins who are 7. I work at a desk job 3 days a week and I'm also studying (Diploma of Community Services) so I need to find time in amongst these things to exercise. And I will find the time as I want to find the time. One of the reasons I used to use was 'I don't have the time' but I didn't have the time when I first ran on the treadmill a few years ago or when I climbed the 46 flights of stairs in my office building. I actually had less time then than what I do now.
I look at who I was a few years ago and I want to be back there. I want to feel that feeling of health, accomplishment and achievement. I want to be able to inspire others, prove to myself I can do this and also one day wear a bikini! I still have goals, hopes and dreams. And I look forward to sharing them all with you again in the weeks, moths and years to come.
There are so many things I want to talk about. I am FURIOUS how recently it appears that it's okay to 'fat shame' someone. It is NOT acceptable. Some of you may remember a few years back when I was told that I should buy 2 tickets when I catch the train to accommodate my 'fat ass'. It wasn't acceptable then and it's not acceptable now. Over the last few months several of my friends have experienced this and it has to stop. It is not on and I won't stand for it. I have my voice back and I'm not afraid to tell it how it is.
As I said at the start, a lot of things have changed but I am lucky that the important things have stayed the same. I have the most amazing group of people in my life. As some people know I've had a very upsetting few weeks and It's interesting that it's always the hard times that reveal who your true friends are. You know who has your back when you get knocked down only to stand tall again to see who is still standing with you. And you all know who you are and I thank you for your understanding, compassion and unconditional acceptance of both me and my quirks.
Looking forward to sharing my journey (warts and all) with you again.
Stephanie xo
P.S - weights, measurements and current photos to come! I weighed myself this morning (it was a lovely surprise!) but I want to post them with my body measurements. Now where did I leave that tape measure? ;)
You *can* do it. I have faith xx
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