Under 200kg - just.

I am happy that today is behind me!

I went and saw Dr Winnett.  I haven't seen him since the 1st of March when I had my band replaced.  I told him right away that I thought that I had put on weight and he was very positive about regardless of having put some on, I will be able to lose it.  I hopped on the scales and I weighed in at 199.6kg.  I think the fact I'm under 200kg is awesome mentally due to the fact that I'm not over 200kg but I like to think that the foods that I have been eating the last few days has contributed to me being under 200kg.  Who knows.  I could have been more at one stage. 

I had 1.5ml in my band.  I was under the impression that it had been empty this whole time.  After 15 minutes or so of trying to fill my band, he said that it would be best if I went down to Olympic Imaging to have it done via X-ray as  he was not able to put the fill in.  And I know that I am to blame for it due to the fact that I have put on so much weight over the past few months.  It was getting easier for him to find the port as time went on now, he wasn't able to do it at all.

I went to Olympic Park and Peter (the man who has dealt with all of my Barium Swallows) was there.  The fill was over in a few minutes.  After it was done, the man showed me how long the needle was that he used.  It was around about 20cm long.  It was huge.  No wonder the man doing the procedure kept asking if I could feel anything.  And although I had a local anaesthetic, he was surprised that I was quite comfortable throughout the procedure. 

I got to work at 1.  And even though I'm the weight that I am, I am feeling fantastic.  I have a spring in my step.  I am happy and carefree and feeling awesome.  I can't wait to see how I'll feel once I lose a bit more weight.

It feels strange having my band filled.  I sipped on some cold water before and I had forgotten what it feels like when it slows down when it gets to that point.  I nibbled on some pretzels before (healthiest snack I could find in the vending machine at work) and had to remind myself to chew, chew, chew.  I have had about 3 tic tacs and have been grazing on small box of Sustain.  I am full after half the packet.  It's a comforting feeling knowing that I have my tool back to help me through my journey again.

My next fill will be at Olympic Park in 2 weeks and I will see Dr Winnett again in 4 weeks.  My goal in the next 4 weeks is to attempt to lose 10kg.  I want it gone (again!).  And I know that I can do it.  It's so easy to put weight on but so hard to lose it but it feels much better losing it than putting it on.  I hope to be full of energy and back to feeling fit again within a few weeks.  I used to feel like I could take on the world.  I can't wait to get back to that.  Even if it means getting up so early to achieve it, I'm after results and results will only come with hard work and determination.  And I'll get there because I deserve to.  I know I can do it. 

So much so, I'm going to go to the Gym - I'm feeling tense and I can't think of anything better to get that tension out other than some boxing and lifting some weights.

So here we go again :)

2nd August 2012

2nd August 2012