A rant...

2 blogs in 2 days!

I have a few things to write about – or should I say whinge…

I can’t STAND it when people bitch about people behind other people’s backs.  I believe there is a difference between bitchiness and fact.  I also believe that if you’re going to say something behind the person’s back, don’t say it unless you are prepared to say it to your face.

I’ve found myself in some extremely difficult positions in the last few weeks and some of the situations have really tested my morals and my beliefs.  Most of these have been formed by past experiences and mainly ones that I have been a (I hate this word) ‘victim’ of personally.  It’s important that you stay true to yourself and what you believe in.  It’s important you weigh up the pros and cons of a decision you make and I think too much (possibly too much at times) but I know that when I’ve made a decision, I’ve thought it through and I’ve made sure at the core of what I’ve decided is what I believe in and what I stand for.

Sure, there have been more than a few times that I’ve lost friends from standing up for what I believe in but these ‘friends’ would have never put me in that position in the first place if they truly knew who I was.  I have always believed that everything happens for a reason and if a hurdle is thrown  in your way, you jump over it and if you can’t jump, you find your way around.

When I think about some of the situations that I’ve experienced in the past few years, I realised that if there wasn’t such a thing as ‘social networking’, things may not have been so bad.  The person would have had to phone the person or meet them face to face to tell them what they thought rather than chat about them behind their back.  You wouldn’t find out who went where with whom on what day so easily and you also  have to fight the battle of being non-judgemental every time you open up your lap top or resist temptation to write what you really think.  Social networking has really turned a lot of us into keyboard heroes. 

Recently, I was made aware that I was being talked about in a way that I really didn’t like.  I heard it from someone who doesn’t really know me but was quite concerned about what had been said.  It really hurt.  And considering I don’t even know this person although I know this person knows a fair bit about me, for some reason, it hurt even more.

 I am past the point of worrying what people think about my weight as I know I am doing something about it and each week, I lose an average of 1.3kg however, when they pick on me for what I look like in certain clothes or a running commentary about my wobbling and jiggling when I walk, I get pissed off.  I am a ‘person in the making’ and I am proud of my progress.  If people had the balls to talk to ME rather than behind my back, they may not have so much to say because to say it to one’s face is totally different than saying it behind their back to others.

I didn’t really think that I’d changed on the inside as much as I had on the out until a while ago I realised that I’m not going to settle for being treated like crap.  I am worth more than that.  And I’ll do what I need to do to make sure that I protect myself and ensure that I am able to hold my head up high knowing that I have done and am doing the right thing for number 1 – me.  I won’t apologise for being me.  And I won’t apologise for standing up for what I believe in. 

Rant over :)