Rest in Peace, Nanna xo

Yesterday morning, the 20^th of July 2011, just before 4am, Nanna died peacefully.  To watch her take her last breath and finally be free from the pain and the struggle was quite a relief but knowing that she is gone is heartbreaking.

She was transferred to the palliative care facility this time last week and had so many visitors.  So many people who love and care for her and although due to the pain killers sometimes it appeared as though she was asleep, she was still very aware of what was going on as when she did open her eyes and saw that you were there, she’d give you such a huge smile and her had would come out from under the doona to reach for you. 

She is an amazing woman.  And so brave.  And she put up such a fight.  And watching the changes in her over the past few months have been quite surreal yet I admire how she maintained such a positive attitude the whole way through it.  She is inspiring.  And I will miss her.

It’s taken me a day and a half to work out what to write today.  I started my blog on Tuesday after my PT session.  I had written how I’d done sit ups for the first time in years.  How I am so pumped about Friday and how I can’t believe it’s nearly here.  I’d written about how I wore my jeans to work on Monday.  I wrote about how even though my seat belt has fit me for a few months now, I STILL forget to put it on when I get in the Car as it’s now a habit not to.  I’d also written how I spent a few hours at the palliative care facility with Nanna and Poppa on Monday night and it was a time I’ll treasure and remember forever.  I’d also written about how I can’t wait until weigh day which was yesterday…

I got home at around about 6.15am yesterday morning.  My appointment with my Surgeon was at 9.40am.  Although I was exhausted, I had a shower and got ready to go.  Dr Winnett is away at the moment so, I saw his sidekick, Dr Chan (or as I call him, the ‘other’ Jason’.  I told him what my goal had been over the past 6 weeks.  I wanted to lose 10kg.  I got onto the scales and he told me my weight – 176.8kg.  That’s 9.5kg gone in the past 6 weeks.  That’s a total of 66.2kg gone in 350 days.  And averaging 1.3kg per week.  I’m wrapped.  I haven’t given myself a goal for the next 6 weeks as yet.

I had my final PT before tomorrow.  I did stretches and did upper body weights.  A bit of walking and some boxing.  I’m nervous about tomorrow.  Nervous isn’t the right word.  I’m looking forward to it.  I’m pumped and ready.  Bring it on.  I do feel a bit down but, I’ll turn that into positive energy and will continue to remember why I am doing it.  I’m doing it for Nanna.  And that’s what will get me up the top. 

Today Tonight are going to be covering it – I am not sure when it will be aired as the reporter who I deal with is not in tomorrow although she is sending out a crew.  I am going to look like a feral when I’ve finished!  I will enjoy having a nice hot shower and a glass of wine afterwards to celebrate.  The boys are coming up the first 12 flights with me to honour Nanna.  I bet they’ll be happy I said no to the whole 46 by the time they’ve done that!

Wish me luck :) and next time I write, I’ll be sore but proud.  And if you haven’t already, please donate

http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=342014&langPref=en-CA 

every little bit gets us closer to the $5,000 goal :)

‘A penneth of Chips, a penneth of Peas and plenty of Salt n Vinegar’ RIP Nanna xo